That’s not just a tacky sculpture of a woman with no nipples—that’s a vintage ad for an actual phone! I love how this redheaded lady is buck naked except for the gold leaves covering up her lady bits to preserve her modesty. To see a full-sized (NSFW) pic, click after the jump…

Clearly, “The View” host Elisabeth Hasselbeck never saw the episode of “Seinfeld” where Elaine sent a Christmas card with an accidental nip slip to everyone she knew, prompting the famous line, “Your whole life, you go through painstaking efforts to hide your nipple and BOOM, suddenly hundreds of people get their own personal shot of it.” If so, she would have known to check the pic she took of baby Isaiah with her iPhone right after he was born. Of course, the kid was smiling from ear to ear in the shot—because mommy’s nipple was in full view. She sent the pic out as a birth announcement to a whole slew of her closest friends and family. Oops! Watch the clip of Elisabeth sharing her embarrassing tale. [PopEater]

Dinner mints are boring yet practical. Most of us never really considered that mints could be updated. Andes Mints were doing their job, weren’t they? But there’s always room for improvement. Who would have guessed that changing their shape could make mints so interesting? I’d take the After Dinner Nipples, which are filled with mint fondant, out of the box, though, and see how many people actually notice the shape as they pop one in their mouths. [RippNRoll.com via Impact Lab]

A few weeks ago I turned to my guy and asked, “When you have to pee, can you feel it in your penis?” He raised his eyebrows at me and said, “No, Jess, I feel it in my bladder, like every other human being.” Well, excuse me for not knowing much about male anatomy. Am I right, ladies? Guy’s bodies are a little confusing sometimes—and we can sure as hell think of some things men don’t know about women’s bodies:

When it comes to men and sex, I’ve noticed that special requests usually come along the lines of an instant upgrade: if I’m giving a hand job, they ask for a blowjob, and if I’m giving a blowjob, well, why not full-on sex? That’s simple enough for me to handle if it makes sexytime shine.

But we’re all about equality here at The Frisky and it wouldn’t be very egalitarian of us to hinthintHINT to our dudes with our 10 Things Men Forget To Do During Sex list without engaging in a little self-improvement ourselves. After the jump, we asked a few men—who, let it be known, all said “Don’t forget to touch our balls!”—to help us out.

No one on earth is quite as pleased as a man who has just pleased a woman between the sheets. We love the care and attention you’ve paid to us for our own benefit, but we also love watching you bask in self-satisfaction. But as satisfied as you might be with yourself, sometimes we’re not quite as satisfied as you’d hoped: something relatively minor, but highly distracting, was a bit “off.”

Don’t be offended, darlings, but a few nips and tucks in your bedroom style might speed things along (in a good way)—leaving us more time for another go at it!

Weird alert! Besides enhancing the pectorals of the male species, male nipples can actually play a purpose other than decoration. Since men posses both mammary glands and pituitary glands––the essentials for lactation—they also have the ability to breastfeed. When the factors align properly, some doctors believe that men can partake in nourishing their children in the same way as women. Though this doesn’t happen in everyday circumstances, in some rare instances, men have been the breastfeeders.

Yesterday, Catherine polled readers about this odd see-through shirt trend (and according to the results, over half of you are anti-), but what we failed to mention is that Rihanna is not only the ringleader of this scary mid-‘90’s throwback, she’s by far the most in your face about it as well. Witness this handy montage of Nippies that she shamelessly paraded all over downtown New York. Moving on to a more personal note, unless you travel with an entourage and bodyguards and need to wear crazy getups to get in the tabloids because that’s part of the fame game (mouthful!), I am not feeling this look for real life. However! Must confess here and now that I love the plain, flesh-colored Nippies and I wear them all the freakin’ time with tank tops and strapless dresses and low v-necks and backless-es and everything but see-through shirts. Anyone else actually try them? Or actually like the look of glitter pasties underneath a $5,000 mesh top? Discuss!

Who’s your nipple role model?

Have no idea what we’re talking about? Good. You haven’t been brainwashed by yet another plastic surgery trend we don’t understand: nipple surgery to change the shape, color or size of your areolae.

There’s been some internet chatter recently about how Huffington Post, a blog with mostly liberal writers and a liberal slant on the news, publishes a lot of photos and slideshows of half-naked female celebs. Two years ago I was on staff at the Huffington Post and this was going on back then too. The ongoing hypocrisy of an ostensibly liberal politics site objectifying women’s bodies, sadly, is not new.

Everyone has got nipples, but not everyone can show them. Dudes, even ones with man boobs and Mormons, can pose for pics shirtless. Now, when a woman goes topless, the tits have hit the fan! As our own editor Amelia has shown, you’ve got to cover nips with Photoshopped on pasties—then and only then, is she the portrait of modesty by American standards. But does digitally removing some nipples truly desexualize a naked lady? That’s exactly what photography team Loreffrey set to find out in their series Nipple Non Grata.

While Europeans are known for spending the summer lazing about the beach topless, we Americans have more modest sunbathing practices, which involve covering up our boobs and bums. But if you’re taking vacation in France this summer, you’ll be able to test the topless waters without showing your peaks to the entire Riviera. Starting in June, Sephora France will stock 50 of its stores with Nippies, those little stickers cute shapes like stars and hearts that cover up your nipples and are normally worn under clothing that don’t allow for a bra to prevent “wardrobe malfunctions.” While Nippes are for sale in the states, Bristols 6, the company behind Nippies, is marketing their use in France as a way to avoid unintended nipple slips at the pool when wearing teeny bikinis, and on their own as an alternative to tops (yes, the adhesive is waterproof). “While topless sunbathing is de riguer in Europe, Nippies are a chic cover-up for less courageous Americans desiring a cool Euro vibe. ... Undercover or exposed, Nippies are a patch of freedom you won’t need to hide,” reads a promotional email. Would you wear these sparkly stickers in place of your swimsuit top? [Bristols 6]

Lately I’ve noticed that a lot of stars are showing up events or are photographed with visible nipple action, either in the form of hard, erect nipples poking through shirts (Paris Hilton), or thin fabric exposing the slightest bit of areolae shape and color (Beyonce, I am talking to you). With the insane array of products on the market to prevent such displays—from, you know, bras to breast petals—I’ve been wondering why on earth these ladies are walking out of the house with their headlights on. But beyond that, what do guys think? I mean, i think it goes without saying that breasts are beloved by all straight men, but is it true that guys are really hot for hard nipples? And what do they think of nipples in general? I think you know who I asked…

On last week’s episode of “The Rachel Zoe Project,” crybaby assistant stylist Brad Goreski got busted for forgetting to leave Rachel a fashion kit with which to style Cameron Diaz for the Academy Awards. That kit includes nipples covers—as Brad explains: “[I]f one of our clients is wearing a chiffon dress, and it is cold outside, we’ll have pokey nipples!” God forbid a women should have protruding mammary papillae! As it turns out, if you’re looking to go bare but not go there, Bristols 6 makes the Nippies brand nipple covers that Zoe favors. The pasties style comes in a wide variety of shapes and colors: butterflies or stars, glittery or sequined, Rio hearts or Pucci patterned. The silicone style offers more coverage and is reusable and “paparazzi proof.”  With the right pair, and the right ringtone, Zoe herself will tell you: “You’re shutting it down!”

On the runways the last couple seasons, designers have been showing off models’ breasts with sheer tops and no bras in sight. Check out the NSFW see-through designs from last week’s London Fashion Week, then promise us you will never show your nipples in public.

What do you think of Starbucks new logo? Some people are not pleased with the mermaid lady’s newly-exposed nipples and have started calling the chain “Slutbucks”. All we care about is whether the slutty new mermaid doesn’t burn her coffee like the old one did. [StarTribune.com]