Tag Archives: nice guys

Mind Of Man: Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last?

John DeVoreAugust 17, 2011 //

A recent study has concluded that it doesn’t pay to be a “nice” guy. Scientists have found that men who are “agreeable” in the workplace don’t earn as much money as men who are more cutthroat. This groundbreaking finding serves to prove that tired old saying that “nice guys finish last.” When did you become so starved for attention, science? I know that modern society is allergic to reason and that facts and the boring pursuit of truth aren’t sexy. But why bother drumming up controversy by using social research to confirm a statement that only reinforces gender cliches? Do you need a ratings boost?

When women hear that “nice guys finish last,” they wail and shake their fists and wonder aloud, very loudly, if they’ll ever, ever, ever find a guy who isn’t a jackass. Then there are the men who are actually jackasses who tell themselves they’re “nice guys,” because even jackasses need to sleep. But then they read, for the 1000th time, that “nice guys finish last,” and resign themselves to being jackasses. Because why bother being a nice guy if you’re doomed to failure? Both men and women respond emotionally to the phrase “nice guys finish last.” I don’t care how scientifically sound the study happens to be because I’ll bet all my credit card debt that it was inspired by a desire to steal some spotlight instead of illuminating the human condition. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I Moved Too Slowly And Lost The Girl”

Wendy AtterberryApril 13, 2010 //

I’m 18 and have made the mistake of taking Mr. Nice Guy too far. Like so many men, I use my manners, and my charm, even my flair for romantic gestures (I write poetry and love sending flowers), as a shield. Actually, it takes me a long time to open up at all to people and, get this, I can’t go anywhere physically (even a simple kiss) with someone I don’t trust. I take things slow, and eventually they work out … usually. But my most recent relationship just fell apart. We’d been seeing each other for 5-6 months, and I felt we were really starting to get somewhere. We haven’t even kissed yet though, and her friends were beginning to wonder if we were really seeing each other. So, I called a “Talk” to really open up, let her know that there was a reason for things going “slowly,” and that I really wanted to take things to a more tangible level with her. She then informed me it wasn’t going anywhere in her opinion, we were just friends and ought to stay that way. That set me back into polite mode, and I told her that would be fine and I was okay with that. Then I cried for hours after she left. True to her word, we’re still friends, but the feelings I worked six months to feel are still here and our conversations are as intimate as they’ve ever been. More, she seems sadder than ever, and some of her friends have hinted that breaking up wasn’t what she wanted to do. Worse, my newly dawning sexuality says it rather wants to get closer to her in every way. Do I take the plunge and just kiss her? A lot of me wants to show her how I feel, but I’m so afraid. — Shy Guy

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Sorry, Girls — There Are No Nice Guys

LemondropDecember 28, 2009 //

Here’s the thing — on paper, I’m actually one of those Nice Guys you often hear and/or read about. I’m uncomfortable to the point of nausea at the idea of being a jerk to women in order to manipulate them into sleeping with me. I do everything in my power to make a girl I’m interested in comfortable and happy, and I refrain from any remotely creepy or suggestive behavior.

So, although I actually do qualify as one of the Nice Guys, there’s a paradox — there’s no such thing. Read more … Keep reading »

SexReally Tries (& Fails) To Explain Why Nice Guys Finish Last

Jessica WakemanJune 30, 2009 //

The second SexReally podcast by anti-hookup crusader Laura Sessions Stepp is online, this time looking into the subject of “Why Nice Guys Finish Last.”

Jorge from NYC told Sessions Stepp that he “stopped being nice” because he wasn’t getting any girls and added, “I know guys who are a**holes because they think that’s the only approach to get women.” Brittany, a student at George Washington University, gushed over bad boy “confidence” and “swagger” and dished about a relationship she had with a guy who “made [her] feel lower in some way” and wasn’t “gainfully employed legally.” I guess we women just don’t know what’s good for us!

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Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last?

Catherine StrawnJanuary 28, 2008 //


sweet nothings by ~Bob-Rz on deviantART

What do women have against nice guys? Honestly, I don’t think we have anything against them. It’s not like we want to be treated like crap. If a guy we’re totally into is super nice, that’s amazing. But if a guy we’re not quite sure about or completely crushing on starts doing really thoughtful things, it can come across as trying too hard. Yes, sometimes his thoughtful gestures are enough to win our hearts. This happened to me in high school. A guy I didn’t really like sent me 16 roses on my 16th birthday–we started dating and were together for more than a year, which is a lifetime when you’re in high school. But other times he can seem a bit too intense and make us want to exit the situation ASAP. Thoughts? [deviantART] Keep reading »