Here’s a brief test of étiquette. You’re a writer accused of asking an inappropriate question to a famous actor in a national magazine. Another writer takes you to task for what she sees as a history of this kind of inappropriateness. Your response?
A) Ignore the criticism — you can’t please everyone, right?
B) Explain yourself — you really didn’t intend to offend.
C) Promptly imply that the other writer is jealous and unfuckable.
If you answered C, hey! You must be Andrew Goldman! Step right up here to accept this week’s Douchebag Decree.
What happened was this: Goldman compiles The New York Times Magazine‘s weekly “Talk” section, and on October 7, his subject was Hollywood legend Tippi Hedren, star of “The Birds” and “Marnie” and, as revealed in a new HBO movie, the victim of a pattern of harassment by director Alfred Hitchcock that ended up ruining her career. “The worst abuse happened after you rebuffed [Hitchcock's] advances,” asked Goldman. “Actors have been known to sleep with less powerful directors for advancement in show business. Did you ever consider it?” Keep reading »
The New York Times‘ Style Section inhabits a parallel universe in which wearing dresses during the hot summer months spawns a “trend piece.” For what’s supposed to be the most stylish, fashionable section of the newspaper, they’re delightfully behind the times on, oh, everything. So it is with an ugh in my chest that I read how they’ve turned their keen eye to what College Kids These Days are up to, namely checking into bars on FourSquare.
The Times checked in with several private colleges around the country with vibrant drinking scenes to find out what their most obnoxious upper-middle-class undergrads are doing. No ramen noodles here! The piece introduces us to a 21-year-old woman “fiddling with her orange Hermés bracelet” at a Cornell bar, female Gettysburg students who pregame with champagne, and ladies who order outfits off Rent The Runway because posting pics on Facebook and Twitter “makes wearing anything more than twice taboo.” I’m sorry, but who are these people? The real life cast of “Gossip Girl”? I remember free pizza at campus events being the goddamn highlight of the week. [For me, it was $3 pitcher night at the Avenue dive bar in "downtown" Santa Cruz. -- Editor] Keep reading »
Not sure if you saw this, but according to The New York Times, the totally on-top-of-it purveyors of the latest and coolest fashion and style trends, there’s a new hairstyle that’s been making waves. It’s called bangs. Have you heard of them? They sweep across your forehead and can cover between a third and one-half of your ugly face! They’re so handy and versatile, but also so fraught!
As darling Stephanie Rosenbloom cautions in her 1,000 word missive on the subject:
“Superthick bangs look great, and everyone wants them right now,” said the stylist Alan Tosler, a founder of the Tosler Davis salon in New York. “But if you have a cowlick in your hairline, they will not work. Or if you’ve got a superlow hairline.”
Or, if you are a monkey or some other kind of simian, and your entire body is covered in hair. Then bangs will absolutely not work. Keep reading »
riving in a Rolls Royce, getting a bodyguard, flying on a private plane: These aren’t normally things that New York Times financial reporter Kevin Roose gets to do. But as a guy who writes about billionaires, he wanted a chance to live like one for 24 hours, he explains in a first-person article. It’s a key “paradox” of our times: While many of us are furious at the rich, we’re still fascinated by them, he writes. Read more…
You know when your friend gets a boyfriend, and for whatever reason, you know it’s not a good idea and that it’s not going to work out? And you say “I dunno, I feel like it’s not a good idea, and that it’s not going to work out…” But your friend is stubborn, so obviously they go on dating the person anyway, despite all the signs that they shouldn’t, and then they have a fraught and complicated relationship that doesn’t even last that long, and after the inevitable break-up, you, the loyal friend, are forced to deal with sometimes years of emotional aftermath?
…reading this week’s Modern Love column in The New York Times was sort of like that. Keep reading »
Brooklyn, she is a squirrely strange beast. A land of artisinal cheeses and small-batch decorative axes. She is also a land where men occasionally deign to tuck their long hair into buns. This is newsworthy, so says The New York Times, which has devoted more than a thousand words to exploring the not-actually-a-trend tremd. It seems a writer for the paper visited a Brooklyn bar and saw two bartenders there who preferred wearing their long locks in a bun, rather than a hair net.
But really, how do you make this exotic hair bun — on a clunky, squarish man’s head, no less? Keep reading »
I was losing sleep over the New York Times’ careless factual error on their article about college students with Aspergers who are navigating the perils of an intimate relationship. How dare they mix up two My Little Ponies? Not only do they have totally different personalities, but Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy look nothing alike. Fluttershy is yellow with a pink mane and Twilight Sparkle is a lavender unicorn with a pink and purple mane. The Times needs to get their act together or I am no longer going to be able to trust them as a journalistic institution. Thank God they caught this one. [Coke Talk]
As my 68-year-old, Fox News-watching, Republican-voting father tells it, once upon a time you could compliment a woman in the workplace. You were allowed say “nice dress” or “you look nice today” and it was not a big deal. Everyone would smile pleasantly and go back to clacking on their typewriters. Then the ’70s came along. Hairy-pitted fists were raised and all of a sudden you were afraid to say “nice earrings” out of fear you’d be thrown in the pokey. Or, as the tone of his voice insinuated, you’d be accused of “sexual harassment.”
I wish I were exaggerating this narrative, but I am not: it’s a real conversation I had with my dad last weekend when we chatted about the accusations against Herman Cain. I also wish that the New York Times op-ed written by Katie Roiphe had not misrepresented sexual harassment as boneheaded-ly as my nearly-septugenarian father does. But, sadly, that really happened also. Keep reading »
New York Times, just quit it. Nobody is buying your purported claims that men are now wearing high heels. Because they are not. THEY ARE NOT! As everyone knows, a New York Times trend story is what happens when a New York Times writer or editor has a friend that does something quirky. All the sudden, it’s a trend. It’s not a trend. Still, writer Tricia Romano does a very good job of stretching her acquaintance with several heel-wearing dudes into a puff piece on the allure, the appeal, the sexy luxury of men wearing heels. Keep reading »
Whitney Cummings scored prime real estate this weekend on the interview page of The New York Times Magazine. As a Whitney fan and someone who is really excited for “Whitney” and “2 Broke Girls,” her two new shows, I was super-psyched. Then I read the rude, douchey, and sexist questions by interviewer Andrew Goldman and wanted to throw a hot latte at him. Instead of asking about comedy or acting, Goldman nailed her with at least three questions about being attractive and the perception that pretty girls must sleep their way to the top:
AG: On those Comedy Central roasts, your fellow comedians liked to joke about how you slept your way to fame. How accurate is that criticism?
WC: If sleeping with people worked, I would be doing it. Do you know an example of anyone who’s ever slept with a producer or whatever that has gotten them anywhere?
Great answer to a rude question, Whitney. Alas, the Q&A then worsened. Keep reading »