In my last post, I shared with you a comprehensive list of guys I’ve dated, slept with, or come in contact with over the last year, and the lessons I learned from each. Some of them were men I’d met only once or twice, and others were guys who I actually had feelings for, but looking at that list — I mean REALLY taking a hard look at the amount of men who entered my life in 2014 — is upsetting to me. On one hand, I tell myself that I put myself out there, continued to get back on the horse when love didn’t go my way and that I faced the dating world with resilience. On the other hand, I look at that list and wonder why not even one guy stuck around. Ultimately, it boils down to the fact that, in the new year, I need to be more secure with me. I need to feel confident in my decisions and know that mistakes, successes and failures are all my own. Keep reading »
I don’t like the concept of New Year’s resolutions for the obvious reasons: they make us feel terrible about ourselves, they’re unrealistic, they allow fitness/diet/beauty companies to encroach on our insecurity and suck the life out of us, and they imply that the only time you can change your life is when a new year begins. They’re way too all-or-nothing and presume that if you slip up three days into your “new life plan” you’re a huge failure who will never have a better life. No thanks. I think most of us spend enough time beating ourselves up already, so there’s no need for an annual cultural tradition dedicated to more of that. I’m all about personal improvement, on January 1 or any other day of the year, so I think it’s more the “resolution” label that bugs me than the act of setting goals itself. What I can handle instead of resolutions is the idea of setting intentions. Intentions are more abstract and have more to do with the attitude you carry with you every day than setting distinct cold-turkey goals, and even if your intention is a concrete goal, referring to it as something other than a dreaded resolution has to be better for the psyche somehow, right? I have lots of random goals for 2015, but my biggest intention is to be more emotionally honest. I’m not referring to honesty in terms of a tendency to lie to people’s faces about literal facts or dropping hurtful truthbombs in their faces, though that’s probably not an ideal life choice either – not that I’m judging! What I need more of in my life is honesty with myself and others about how I really feel about things and what I really want.
Keep reading »
If you’re like me and failing at New Year’s resolutions makes you feel guilty and at least a little bit like a failure, here’s an alternative: Gamify your resolutions and make them into New Year’s Challenges, instead.
Gamification can be a huge help for your motivation — it’s the application of game thinking to non-game situations. One of the most successful examples of gamification in pop culture in recent history is the app Zombies, Run!, which turns training to run a 5K race into an epic quest to escape zombies, earning supplies along the way. Playing games is fun, but running, for beginner runners, isn’t. Keep reading »
Generally speaking, New Year’s resolutions are bullshit. They’re entertaining cocktail party fodder at best, a way to talk to people you’ve just met over the cheese plate about how you’re definitely going to quit smoking/go to the gym/take up tantric meditation this year. They are a self-soothing practice, stated with the intent to make you feel like you’re actually going to do something different this year, that there’s something wrong with the way that you have been doing things, but now you have the chance to change. You’ll make a big stink about declaring these resolutions, and maybe even really commit yourself for the first few weeks, but almost without fail will fall back into your regular habits as soon as February hits. That’s okay. You are fine the way you are, and if you feel like you need to change, you can start anytime. The only area where you should take the opportunity to make a few New Year’s resolutions is in your career. The thing about work is that it’s something we all have to do, but we do have some control over how and where, and these resolutions are all about making the most of the situation. After all, you are an at-will employee. No one is holding you hostage at your job. But you’re there an awful lot, so do what you need to do and make it better for yourself. Make these workplace resolutions in 2015 and you will be on your way to personal and professional greatness. Keep reading »
It’s safe to say that if you’re a human between the ages of 18 to 65 with a Facebook account, your friends’ New Years Resolutions have been popping up on your news feed from the moment the ball dropped.
Some hope to cut back on their vino intake, others are trying to become more domestic, and, if you’re like me, tons of your pals are eager to get healthier and slimmer by hitting the gym in 2014.
But not without some other asshole complaining about it… Keep reading »
The new year has officially begun, which means that self-improvement starts today, right now! That’s where it gets tricky — putting all your lofty ambitions in action. Endeavoring to eliminate kettle cooked potato chips from your diet is hard, especially when your office manager keeps them fully stocked at all times. But at least you know what you generally need to do to make it happen: come to work early and set the chip cupboard on fire. But what if you’re aspiring for a bigger, trickier change? You might need to stop being hung up on that guy that you’ve been obsessing about for the last eight years or figure out why you’re so ashamed that you apologize every time you sneeze. What does this kind of self-improvement entail? Sometimes the first step is research. These books will help you dip a toe into the unique and complex issues you’re hoping to dive headfirst into this year. Godspeed! Keep reading »