The most important words a son can learn are “everything is fine, mom.” Which isn’t a lie. It’s more of a wish dressed up like the truth. No different, really, than a mother looking down at her chubby son looking up at her through swimming goggles, a towel tied around his neck, and asking if he could one day be a superhero. Was it possible? Did he have her permission? And her saying, “Yes, yes, and yes.” You know those stories about a mother lifting a car to save her child? Such displays of super-strength aren’t that rare. Most mothers carry their hopes and fears for their children on their backs, stooping over from that terrible treasure’s weight. Atlas had it easy. A man should aspire to relieve her of this burden from time to time. Laid off? Heartbroken? Monsters under the bed? Everything is fine. Keep reading »
I moved to New York City on July 1, 2001, a few weeks after graduating from college. That means it’s almost my nine-year anniversary in this city and next year’s anniversary will make me officially a “New Yorker.” But I think that if you lived here on September 11, 2001 and stayed, you get to call yourself a New Yorker regardless of how long you’ve had a 212, 917, 646, 718, or 347 area code.
Keep reading »
New York City has been handing out free condoms since 1971, and the city now distributes more than 40 million rubbers each year in bars, restaurants, community service agencies, and STD clinics. The Health Department recently held a contest for a new, special edition wrapper for its branded NYC condom, and after tallying the votes, the winner is Luis Acosta of Queens. Won’t his design, which is supposed to symbolize New Yorkers’ power to take control and practice safer sex, make it hard to look at electronic power buttons the same way? [NYC.gov] Keep reading »
A group of people in New York finally give us all a good reason to run around in our underwear. Not only is it fun, but the 500-person panty-run going on tonight in NY’s Central Park has a purpose! If all 500 runners drop trough tonight, they will officially break the world record for the “largest gathering of people wearing underpants” currently held by the 146 English men who depants-ed last month. Runners who finish the 1.7 mile run, appropriately led by NY mayor candidate, The Naked Cowboy, will win a pair of boxers, further encouraging their undie exercise. But for some athletes in tonight’s run, not only are they breaking a world record, they are also warming up for the Nautica NYC Triathlon happening on Sunday. [Huffington Post]
This undie-run is a pretty fantastic world record goal, but I think Frisky readers can do better!
Keep reading »
Good job, stupid Twilighters. Your insanity has made Robert Pattinson hate NYC and all its women. While shooting “Remember Me” in Manhattan, the heartthrob has been bombarded by desperate, love-starved tweens hoping to cop a feel. They are so bad that Pattinson’s “Remember Me” costars are worried. First there was that whole running-away-from-fans-and-getting-hit-by-a-cab incident. They also say he has lost a lot of weight and is miserable. He’s had to hotel hop so that his obnox fans won’t find out where he’s staying. R-Patz refuses to even look up any more for fear of egging on his wacko fans. Keep reading »
Justin Timberlake takes girlfriend Jessica Biel out for a run along the Hudson River in New York City. Seriously, Jess chases him around like it’s her career. That girl needs to back off my man and get a real job. [NYC, 4/30/09] Keep reading »
In a town where assistants drop a paycheck on a pair of shoes and it’s par for the course to window browse after Sunday brunch, New York caters to shoppers who mean business. Whether you’re looking for one-stop department stores, quirky boutiques, or sleek design shops, we’ve got you covered. Here are our favorite places in the Big Apple to spend in style. Keep reading »
New York City is hoping people will forget Vegas and start getting married in the Big Apple. On Monday, a new 24,000-square-foot space opens, complete with photo walls for taking pictures, video screens to monitor wait times, wedding chapels with gauzy curtains and painted murals, and a shop selling fresh flowers, disposable cameras, and fake diamond rings for $9. The new space was designed by Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s favorite decorator, Jamie Drake, who worked on his Upper East Side town house. “We want to be the wedding destination of the world,” said Deputy Mayor Patti Harris. This goal is not unreasonable. In 2008, NYC issued nearly 70,000 marriage licenses, while Clark County, where Las Vegas is located, issued 95,888. Since I’ve never been married or anything, I was kind of shocked to find out it costs just $35 to get a marriage license in New York, and having your ceremony at the new Marriage Bureau is $25 extra. The memories? They’re priceless, of course. [HuffPo] Keep reading »
On the cover of today’s free paper AM New York is a hard-hitting headline about how the New York City Department of Health found that…wait for it… binge drinking leads to sex. Puh-lease, after ZERO drinks I’ll do the nasty! Plus, if that was all it took to get laid, I’d get hammered in morning, I’d get hammered in the evening, I’d get hammered all over this land! According to the Health Department’s report, if you have more than five drinks in one sitting, at least once a month, you’re a big slutty drunky-drunk. [Oops. Oops again. Oops. -- Editor] And by slutty, the study means you have had two to four partners a year. Whore! Keep reading »
As I’ve come to learn, dating in New York City isn’t…well…dating. At least what you think of traditionally in terms of the word. There isn’t a whole lot of that good, wholesome stuff you see on TV or in the movies. Oftentimes, he doesn’t call and ask to take you out to dinner, nor does he pick you up, or follow-up after the requisite three days (even if he really likes you). And, as I’ve found out the hard way, more often than not, girls pay their own way.
Keep reading »