Tag Archives: national enquirer

Bummer: The National Enquirer Is Keepin’ It Real

The National Enquirer just broke the news: Jennifer Aniston is needy, and that’s why things didn’t work out with her and John Mayer. Now, he’s in the studio, writing songs about their split for his next album, Battle Studies. [National Enquirer] — Since when is the Enquirer interested in reporting the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the boring truth? Keep reading »

Breaking News! Is Cindy McCain Cheating On Her Maverick?!

The National Enquirer, which famously broke the John Edwards cheating scandal, claims that Cindy McCain has been cheating on John McCain. The magazine says that Cindy has been canoodling with a “washed-up 80s rock star” — the picture they’ve produced as evidence looks pretty darn grainy to us, but the woman in the photo does have Cindy’s signature platinum hair. But without getting a look at her eye makeup, I’m not willing to say if it’s her or not. The McCain spokespeople have declined to comment. In any case, if it is true, maybe she’s decided to run around John before he runs around on her — after all, their relationship started with HER as the other woman. But still…kind of mean to kick a man while he’s down! [National Enquirer] Keep reading »

Star Couplings: Eva Longoria’s Not Pregnant, She’s Just Fat!

  • Hey, she said it! [Us Weekly]
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    John Edwards’ Alleged Affair & The National Enquirer’s Past Accuracies

    So, The National Enquirer is claiming that John Edwards has a mistress and a love child and that he was totally caught visiting with them at a hotel recently. All this while his wife Elizabeth is still dealing with cancer. Now, this is the National Enquirer we’re talking about, so this is hardly FACT, but politicians stepping out on their wives is hardly an original rumor. Besides, despite the fact that my Grandma calls it “the trash”, they have been right on more than one occasion. Our lovely intern Annika revisits the Enquirer‘s moments of “A-ha! We told you so!”
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    Cellulite Like A Celeb

    Call me obsessed with cellulite, but it’s certainly the bain of my existence — especially as we head into bikini season. I live up six flights of stairs and I still have it. Nothing can stop the indomitable dimples. I’m convinced cellulite and cockroaches are the two things that would survive an apocalypse. While I think the popular paparazzi shots of skinny starlets’ cottage cheese — like these of Mischa Barton — are cruel, I am so relieved that twigs have it too! My body finally has something in common with the likes of Cindy Crawford. It’s such good news, it’s the cover of The National Enquirer this week. I’m sure they think they’re being mean, but really, it’s about time someone spoke up about this natural phenomenon instead of just airbrushing it aside. (Perhaps this is even the first time the trash mag has shown the truth?) Maybe together, we women can make cellulite the new black! OK, that might be overdoing it. The cellulite poster girl Jennifer Love Hewitt was just named Sexiest Woman on Television, so there’s hope. [Dlisted]

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    Breaking News: Does Patrick Swayze Only Have Five Weeks To Live?

    The internet is abuzz with the news that, according to the oh-so-reputable National Enquirer, Patrick Swayze, star of the best movie possibly ever made, Dirty Dancing, is dying of pancreatic cancer that has spread to other organs. No word yet from Swayze’s rep on whether the story is true, but our fingers are crossed that this is yet another rumor the Enquirer has gotten totally wrong. Until then, we’ll be playing “She’s Like The Wind” on repeat. [National Enquirer]

    UPDATE: Patrick Swayze’s rep has confirmed that the actor was diagnosed with cancer about a month ago. This is so, so sad. Dirty Dancing, Ghost, and Priscilla Queen of the Desert marathon at our house tonight. [PageSix.com] Keep reading »

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