“I’ve always tried to stay away from playing Jews. I get like 20 Holocaust scripts a month, but I hate the genre. That was the first thing to come my way that really intrigued me.”

—Natalie Portman, on playing a Hasidic woman in love with her Indian jeweler in the stinker of a movie “New York, I Love You”

While some of the recent bloggers-get-book-deals phenom has been a little crazy (“I Can Has Cheezburger” anyone?), here’s an internet personality with some real talent. Meet John Paul Thurlow. He’s an illustrator with a passion for magazine covers. After drawing his own interpretation of major magazine covers and sharing them with the world on his blog, his New Year’s resolution for 2010 is to present 100 of his best illustrations in Covers, a limited-edition book. The magazine cover choices vary, from Lady Gaga on V to Natalie Portman on Another magazine, and even older classics like issues of The Face. John Paul also plans on putting a few record covers in the mix. Use it to enhance your ever-growing library of fashion books, or just liven up your walls with his talent. A couple more looks, after the jump.

If all of the film adaptations of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice have left your brain numb, this one may really kill you ... in a good way. Natalie Portman has signed on to produce and star in the movie version of the bestselling book Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, written by Seth Grahame-Smith and, uh, Jane Austen. This expanded version of the Austen classic adds a twist on the well-known love story when the outbreak of a deadly virus begins to turn townsfolk into killers. Elizabeth Bennet struggles to balance her blossoming love for Mr. Darcy with her obligation to kick some zombie butt. And who better to bring the right combination of elegance, wit, and edginess to the role of Elizabeth Bennet than Portman? She certainly has the chops to convince us to embrace this version of Elizabeth—a woman who at long last will have a proper outlet for her sense of purpose. Sure, zombies may seem like a peculiar addition to the original text, but there is something about the outbreak of the undead in 19th-century England that somehow makes the story more accessible. The idea that love can blossom in spite of treacherous, external forces is really a modern concept. Besides, who hasn’t had to slay a couple of zombies to land Mr. Right? [Variety]

Last night, I was in the changing room at my NYC gym alongside the lovely and petite Natalie Portman! She was wearing a puffy green coat and Tretorn rain boots even though it wasn’t raining outside and didn’t close her locker behind her. Anyway, because I’m a nerd, this morning I Googled “Natalie Portman Equinox” just for kicks and I came up with this Craigslist posting by some gym bunny asking Nat on a date. It says:

“You’re Natalie Portman. I was running on the treadmill at Equinox today…you were with your friend…i think you kind of checked me out a little…thought you were cute, would love to grab a drink.

Poor boob! Natalie wasn’t checking you out, honey. She was afraid because you were staring at her.

“I have a problem with muse-ship. I feel like throughout history, it’s been men vampiring on women’s specialness. And why do that for someone? Maybe it’s a fear of intimacy!”

—Natalie Portman, star of the film, “Brothers,” in Marie Claire. But what about Zach Braff? [Marie Claire]

“He plays guitar and has a great voice. Kids and dogs love him. He loves his mom and sister and girlfriend. He’s perfect… too bad he’s ugly.”

— Natalie Portman on Jake Gyllenhaal, her co-star/love interest in the new film “Brothers” [Mirror]

OK, so here it is: I can’t stand when people wear giant necklaces with strapless dresses. It just doesn’t make sense—you go to all that trouble to wear a strapless dress to show off your pretty skin and shoulders and collarbone and then what do you do? Throw a necklace over all the bits that you’re trying to show off! Check out Natalie Portman, above—doesn’t she look chic and double-take gorgeous? It’s not because of her dress—though the dress is seriously lovely—it’s because you can’t take your eyes off of her. And why can you actually see purdy Natalie? Because she didn’t cover it all up with a big, honking necklace! Do you guys agree? Granted, I’m mostly a less is more kind of gal, but still—when I take the trouble to take care of my skin and wear a strapless cocktail dress, it’s because I want people looking at me. Not my choice of accessories. I’m done now, thanks.

Remember, remember the Fifth of November. This was the day that Guy Fawkes was thwarted in his attempt to explode the British Parliament in the 17th Century (and was caught, tortured, and killed). Our friends across the pond celebrate and commemorate with bonfires, burnings in effigy, and such. This side of the pond, I’m promoting anarchy through remembering Natalie Portman in “V for Vendetta.” The movie (based on the comic) imagined a dystopian future where people lived under totalitarian British rule and V attempted to viciously overthrow the vile government through violence. And Natalie shaved her head. Remember, remember ... it was the cutest thing ever ...

Natalie Portman rocks a pompadour hairstyle for the latest issue of V magazine. Hawt. [WWD]

Last night’s episode of “Top Chef” featured extra-special guest judge Natalie Portman, who forced the chefs to cook vegetarian food in a steakhouse (so cruel!). But they must have done something right, because when the judges sat down to eat, Natalie and Padma got a little frisky. Clip above!

• Natalie Portman says Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer made her go vegan. [The Huffington Post]
• Lindsay Lohan says she plans to go to India on a charity trip before Thanksgiving. She also revealed she’ll be involved with a BBC documentary about child trafficking in that country. [Radar]
• Check out this article: “Who Is The Scariest Horror Movie Serial Killer Of All Time?” [Starpulse]—Sadly, my childhood monster, Blacula, didn’t make the list.

“Just as what you are feeling in your life affects your acting, what you act in definitely affects what you are feeling in your life. I made ‘Heat’ when I was 14 and played a girl who died. A year later, I got into a fight with my mother and cut myself. I had never done it before and I never did it after that, but I think having my wrists bloody in a movie definitely affected my psyche.” [Hollywood News]

—Natalie Portman, on cutting herself when she was a teen. Seems like a high percentage of Hollywood starlets have done this.

In the grand tradition of musicians dedicating songs to someone super random, the Wu-Tang Clan’s Ghostface Killah has dedicated his new album, “The Wizard of Poetry,” to ... Natalie Portman. In the September issue of Interview magazine, Natalie told Jake Gyllenhaal that she likes obscene rap music. Since Ghostface is all about that stuff, he just couldn’t resist shouting her out on the new album. But it gets weirder. Ghostface told the New York Post, “If you see her, give her my number. Tell her we gotta make some music together.” Great idea, Ghostface! Maybe you two could collaborate on the soundtrack for “Thor”? [NY Post]

“I’ve mostly been listening to dirty rap lately. That’s sort of my scene. Really, really obscene hip-hop. I love it so much. It makes me laugh and then it makes me want to dance. Those are like my two favorite things, so combined ... I’ve been listening a lot lately to ‘Wait (The Whisper Song)’ by the Ying Yang Twins, where the lyrics are like, ‘Wait ‘til you see my dick’—which is just amazing because it’s whispered. [whispers] ‘Wait ‘til you see my dick…’ Crazy. So I just listen to it like I’m a five-year-old, like, ‘Oh my god! I can’t believe he just said that!’”

—Natalie Portman to Jake Gyllenhaal, who interviews her for the new issue of Interview [via Huffington Post]

• Natalie Portman will be producing a comedy called “Booksmart,” in which two highschool girls realize they’ve achieved everything they’ve wanted to in high school, except landing boyfriends. [Just Jared] – Sounds like the Harvard grad got some inspiration from her own life (except I doubt she has troubling attracting men anymore).
• JoJo may have taken a hiatus from the music industry, but that’s because she’s got other things on her mind – college! The 18 year-old will be heading to Northeastern this fall and will be majoring in Cultural Anthropology. [Starpulse]—Maybe those college guys will give her new material for a comeback album.
• After Self magazine editors altered the heck out of Kelly Clarkson’s cover photo to the point that she was almost unrecognizable, they tried to defend themselves. [Jezebel] – They weren’t so successful.

“Brothers” is the upcoming Natalie Portman-Jake-Gyllenhaal-Tobey Maguire movie about the Iraq war. Sam (Tobey) goes off to fight, leaving Grace (Natalie) and two kids at home, and he dies. Grace and the kids are heartbroken, and Tommy (Jake) steps in to help out (and, apparently, sleep with his dead brother’s wife). But wait! Sam isn’t dead! He comes back home, and things start going back to normal, but then he loses it when he finds out about Grace and Tommy! And his daughter tells him at the dinner table that Mommy would rather sleep with Uncle Tommy than him! And Sam goes apeshit! Looks like a much more intense, much less sappy version of “Pearl Harbor,” with its Ben Affleck-Josh Hartnett-Kate Beckinsdale love triangle, no?