Nail polish names have always been a source of the giggles — “You Don’t Know Jacques”? “Friar, Friar, Pants On Fire”? “Don’t Socra-Tease Me”?! So ridiculous, yet genius, there’s even a blog devoted to the dumbest nail polish names ever. But those names pale in comparison to some of the shades I found with names so raunchy (“Pounded on the Kitchen Table”? Really?!) I almost blushed. Check out 16 of the raunchiest and overtly sexual nail polish names above…
For the majority of my life, I was The Girl With The Grubby Nails. Nothing was more satisfying than sitting on my bed, lost in a book, gnawing in a distracted fashion on my tiny nail stubs. Save an ill-advised love affair with acrylic French tips in high school, my nails were largely ignored, left to languish while I concentrated my efforts on mastering liquid eyeliner and figuring out a flatiron.
Enter the $10 manicure, the ultimate lifesaver. For the price of two magazines, three street tacos, an iced tea and a big cookie, my nail game was on point, effectively transitioning me from Not Grown to Almost There. However, my lifestyle often belied my appearance, and I’d ruin manicures regularly, digging in my bag for keys, rustling around for chapstick, and once, just by walking up a flight of stairs. My $10 mani obsession had reached its peak, and it was a waste of money. After hours of internet research, I perfected an at-home mani situation that is fun, and dare I say, relaxing. Let me show you the way. Keep reading »
I literally squealed with glee when I saw this chalkboard manicure, and I was even more excited when I learned it wasn’t some exclusive runway design, but actually a nail art kit available at Sephora. You start with a matte black polish that’s like chalkboard paint for your nails (see also: Pinterest’s wet dream), then once that dries, add some colorful designs with one of the colorful chalk pens, and seal it with a clear top coat. Love. [$25, Sephora]
Oh Pinterest! I’m addicted to you and all your pretty pictures. Your recipes, your crafts, your hot Ryan Gosling photos. But lately, you’ve been really annoying me and I’m falling out of love at a rapid pace. And yes, I realize that it’s not really your fault but rather all the Pinterest users who feel the need to pin ridiculous crap. So if you’re on Pinterest like me, listen up, and stop ticking off your followers.
1. Weird Nail Art: Oh my goodness, enough with the nail art already. Sure, the polish colors are pretty. And inspiring. But the panda bears? The piano keys? I just can’t take the silliness anymore. Read more…
I consider myself something of a connoisseur of ruining manicures. Super cheap salon manicures, at-home manicures, high-end spa manicures: no matter how I acquired my freshly painted nails, I’ve smeared, chipped, or smudged them all, often in record time (“Already?!” –every manicurist who’s had to ever had to repaint my thumbnail). Would you like to explore some new techniques to mess up your fresh, flawless mani? Here are 30 easy ways to ruin your manicure, all personally tested and approved by me… Keep reading »