You probably remember a couple years ago when Miss South Carolina Teen USA 2007 badly botched her answer to a pageant question and became an overnight internet sensation on YouTube. Well, the former beauty queen appeared on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” last week poking fun at herself by asking various people to explain where babies come from. Her segment with Octomom after the jump is priceless!

Man, I think Nadya Suleman is really mentally ill. I mean, really mentally ill. I have no idea why her 14 children are still living in her house. After reading all about the Suleman kids in a forthcoming New York Times Magazine article, I feel fine saying her fetishistic breeding of children, plus plopping said children in front of video crews, constitutes child abuse. Yep, child abuse.

But she isn’t the only person we should be upset with; so many others are enabling what Octomom is doing with her kids. From the doctors who put the in-vitro eggs into Suleman to the film crew to the people who buy gossip mags about her kids—they are all contributing to this insane fetishism. The poor kids are the ones who’re suffering!

After the jump, 15 things I learned from the Times article on Octomom so you, too, can lose hope for our culture if this is what constitutes “parenting” these days.

You know what’s far, far scarier than any horror movie you could rent this Halloween? The possibility that Jon Gosselin and Nadya Suleman might be doing a reality television special together where they date. In Touch Weekly reported this week that masochistic producer Bobby Goldstein, who was also behind “Cheaters” and “The Jerry Springer Show,” is working on said special, called “Jon - Kate = Jon + Octomom.” It features Jon “as he contemplates what hooking up with Octomom could really be like ... He’s totally creeped out by the idea that if they got married, they’d have 22 kids.” As soon as the story about the show appeared, Jon and Nadya’s reps were quick to send out denials. But several insiders have now told NY Daily News that the show is actually happening. “Jon’s camp got scared because they didn’t expect the story to come out so quickly. They figured they would issue a denial now,” explained one mysterious insider. “Both Jon and Nadya are each looking to bring in at least $1 million for doing the show. Jon definitely wants to do the show.” Goldstein adds that he is currently shopping the show around to networks, to potentially air as a two-hour special on Super Bowl Sunday. Why that day—because together this pair has enough kids to make a football team? Also, will we even remember these two that many months from now? Here’s hoping the answer is a big fat “no!” [NY Daily News]

While half the population will likely be dressing up as Nadya Suleman for Halloween, the Octomom has decided on a nun (with her gang of devil babies) for her costume.

• Oprah will finally sit down with Sarah Palin on the Nov. 16 episode of her talk show. [What an awesome birthday present!—Editor] [TrèsSugar]—This is quite possibly the showdown of the century.
• “Real Housewife” Bethenny Frankel, who got engaged recently, admits she’s pregnant after internet rumors started to spread. [NYDailyNews.com]—Lesson learned: no matter what, you can never outrun the internet.
• Beer pong: the swine flu’s latest victim. A New York college has banned the playing of beer pong after several students contracted H1N1 during a weekend of partying. [Lemondrop]

• Nadya Suleman has revealed that she has the hots for Jon Gosselin. [Celebitchy]—Feel free to puke up your breakfast now.
• Joss Stone needs a tall man because she’s 5 foot 10 inches tall, and she seems to have her sights on Wentworth Miller from “Prison Break.” [OK! Magazine]—Maybe he also reads OK! and will holler at her now.
• Meryl Streep‘s daughter, Mamie Gummer, is engaged to actor boyfriend Ben Walker. [PopEater]

There are few things on TV that I love more than a “ripped from the headlines” episode of “Law & Order,” and tonight’s episode, airing at 10 p.m., sounds like such a doozy that I’ll have to figure out how to see it and “Paranormal Activity.” The drama that is Jon and Kate Gosselin and OctoMom Nadya Suleman gets the L&O treatment as fictional versions of them battle for a reality show about their broods (there were almost 20 kids on set). And, of course, there’s a murder. If you’re an NBC watcher, I’m not spoiling anything for you by telling you the Kate character gets offed. As a result, the regular characters and my man Jack McCoy end up intertwined in the strange world of reality TV. And one has to be interviewed as part of the show to get some evidence. “[The episode is] kind [of] about the insidious nature of reality TV and kind of our fascination [with it],” said executive producer Rene Balcer to AccessHollywood.com. And that sounds almost as good as some of my favorite reality shows. [NBC New York]

FOX’s two-hour-OctoMom documentary aired last night. My first instinct was to hide under the covers, shaking uncontrollably, and wait for it to be over, but I knew I had to watch for your sake. So I took out my earplugs, stripped off the sheets, and ventured out in front of my TV again. Of course it was as bad, maybe worse, than I thought. After the jump, the choicest moments from the two-hour crapfest “OctoMom: The Incredible Unseen Footage.”

We love us some beh-behs as much as the next twentysomething woman with a ticktockticktock sound coming out of her ovaries. But this sounds like a bad story from The National Enquirer: a woman in Gafsa, Tunisia, is preggo with 12 babies, thanks to fertility treatments. Her identity has not been revealed yet, but she is said to be a married teacher who turned to fertility docs after several miscarriages. Thank heavens this baby bonanza is happening in Tunisia, an unlikely locale for paparazzi to schlep when they’re done camping out outside of Nadya Suleman‘s house. Seriously, wannabe parents and fertility doctors, ENOUGH with the crazy multiple pregnancies already. [Sun UK]

OctoMom Nadya Suleman has decided to continue her torturous reign over us all. She’s at long last signed a reality TV show deal. It still has to be approved by a judge, but if this crazy concept gets the OK, each of OctoMom’s 14 kids will be raking in $250 per day and could make about $250,000 in three years. It’s good they won’t be poor, but the idea that this wacked-out family is going to be out there for all the world to see makes me a tad uncomfortable. The company behind this is also responsible for masterpieces like “The Biggest Loser.” Taping is set to begin on September 1st which, coincidentally, is also the day I’ll be leaving the country. Forever. [Us Magazine]

• Though we haven’t even given Michael Jackson enough time to rise from the dead like Jesus, there are already talks of a Michael Jackson biopic. Different methods are being considered like using archive and live -show footage or maybe having Jamie Foxx play young Jackson and Johnny Depp play um, white Jackson. I’m not sure how politically correct that scenario would be but God I would love to see them try to pull it off! [PopCrunch]

In a fight between OctoMom and Kate Gosselin, we’re not sure who’d win. And sadly, it looks like it might be coming to that. Today, the war between the women with way too many kids reached a fever pitch. In February, Kate appeared on “Dr. Phil” and had some not-so-nice words to say about Nadya. Today, Nadya fired back. In a brand new interview with Radar Online (trust me, you’ll want to watch), she lashed out at Kate for getting a tummy tuck, for looking too much like a box (huh?), and for being desperate for attention. Pot, meet kettle.

First came “Coctomom,” the porno inspired by Nadya Suleman. Now Nadya’s going to be immortalized in a musical. That’s right, OctoMom the Musical” is in the works. And it’s gonna be quite a production. People in the first two rows of will get soaked during the delivery scene, and babies will fly over the audience. After the jump, the reasons this musical is pregnant with failure.

Just in time for Mother’s Day, OctoMom Nadya Suleman gives her army of babies the best gift ever: no more brothers and sisters! After giving birth to 14 children through in-vitro, OctoMonster is making her first responsible parenting decision and getting part of her baby making-machine, her uterus, removed. The surgery, scheduled for this weekend, means that Suleman is unlikely to spawn more offspring. Collective sigh. [Radar via Daily News]