Can’t work out your relationship issues in a court of law? Try making a music video. At least that’s how singer Chris Brown appears to be attempting to deal with his problems with ex Rihanna. After falling from grace for beating up the pop star and failing to score public forgiveness, Brown has turned his latest music video, “Crawl,” into a bit of pretend therapy. Singer Cassie plays the Rihanna role as Brown seeks to woo her back—thankfully, to no avail. I don’t think Rihanna’s going to be crawling back to that kind of love anytime soon. Mostly, he just comes across as sad and pathetic. [Videos.antville.org]

I tried to hate on this video, but I can’t! It’s just hot! At first I was like, yo, B, can you do something other than stand in front of a camera and gyrate like there’s no tomorrow? And, hey, Lady Gaga, can you just, like, disappear off my laptop screen for a moment? But then the beat got to me, and I fell under the spell of Beyonce and Lady Gaga‘s “Video Phone,” directed by Hype Williams, who makes great everything he lenses. It’s part “Reservoir Dogs,” part Bettie Page, and there’s some brandishing of weapons. What do you think: love it or leave it?

This is, like, one of the worst videos I’ve ever seen. So bad that it’s almost fascinating in its horribleness. According to Michael K., this Enrique Iglesias “Sad Eyes” video dates back to 2000, but has supposedly never been seen. For good reason, methinks. In it, Enrique wanders around a hotel room, looking damp and touching himself in ambiguous-yet-erotic ways. Lonely, sad, and moist, he gets all obsessed with a girl on one of those chat lines who’s in those ads that are all, like, “CALL ME NOW.” He basically dry humps his TV and his computer. Later, the girl shows up in his dreams and ... rides his stripper pole. And I mean that literally. His costar is a real porn star, Cassidey. I hope they got their happy ending. [Dlisted]

Puffy? P. Diddy? Sean? Whatever his name is—I guess it’s “Diddy” these days—he’s got a new video. “Love Come Down” costars Dirty Money, otherwise known as Dawn Richard from Danity Kane and Kaleena. The track is from Diddy’s forthcoming Last Train to Paris, which won’t be released until next year. It’s a little bit vintage Diddy, and the beat is unambiguously funky.

Hey! It’s the debut of the new Leighton Meester music video! Finally! In “Somebody to Love,” Meester does her best Madonna-meets-Blondie impression in the backseat of a car. She does a fine job of writhing around, looking sexy, and sort-of singing about, you know, like, love. Thankfully, Robin Thicke is there to lend a hand in the vocal department. “It’s hard to find a man/When you’re gone before he wakes,” Meester chants. So post-feminist, Blair. Don’t quit your day job.

Lady Gaga, you have arrived. Like Beyonce’s “Single Ladies,” Gaga’s “Poker Face” has become so wildly popular that even Christopher Walken has jumped on board covering it. This tribute does make us feel slightly uncomfortable and we hope Walken sticks to acting. But admit it, when Gaga busts out this song in the club, you can’t help but dance. After the jump, a few more amazing odes.

Rihanna‘s Rated R album hits stores in 20 days (yes, I’m counting), and a video for the new song “Wait Your Turn” just came out! I feel like I might be getting a little old to be so excited about something like this, but I can’t help it—it’s been too long since RiRi came out with new material! And this song is good. [via ONTD]

Britney Spears’ video ode to threesomes, “3,” is officially out, and just in case you have some ideas about roping your man into a menage à trois, here are some other helpful pop songs about threesomes to guide the way. I recommend not so subtly turning it into a soundtrack and inviting his hot guy friend over for the most awkward evening ever. 

Out-there pop singer Har Mar Superstar—who bears a striking resemblance to Ron Jeremy—wrote a song for Britney Spears called “Tall Boy.” The tune was about having sex with tall men and drinking cans of beer, so it’s not a big surprise that BritBrit passed on it. But Har Mar Superstar thinks this was, like, the best rejection ever. He put “Tall Boy” on his upcoming album, Dark Touches, and said, “It’s my favorite song I’ve written.” Actually, I could totally see Britney busting out this techno-esque tune while wearing some racy outfit. She’d probably just add a few electronically enhanced groans. [Spinner]

Lots of musicians perform hand-me-down songs. Here’s a collection of songs that were originally meant for another artist.

Before passing away in 2008, Heath Ledger had started a career as a music video director. One of his videos premiered in August. And a second one, a rap video for Australian N’Fa’s “Cause An Effect,” debuted today on YouTube.  The video was shot on one camera in Heath’s Sydney garage shortly before his death, and it’s believed this was the last project over which he exercised complete creative control. He was childhood friends with N’Fa, aka No Fixed Abode, previously known as NFamas from the Australian hip-hop band 1200 Techniques. “The idea was to keep it very artistic so that is what we did,” N’fa said in an accompanying video. “Heath directed it really well and I was really happy with the outcome ... I know Heath was happy with the work,” he added. [Reuters]

The other day I was attempting to organize my closet, but I wasn’t really getting anywhere: I have way too much stuff and I don’t like to get rid of anything, because I know the moment I do, it will come back in style. I’ve held on to almost everything, even a pair of high-waisted leather pants I bought in 1998. As I sat on my bedroom floor, surrounded by clothes that no longer fit or are past their prime, I thought: “What am I going to do?” Then, it hit me: “You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, know when to run.” Yeah, I’m quoting Kenny Rogers’ “The Gambler.” I decided that the garments that didn’t fit or hadn’t been worn in more than a year didn’t deserve a place in my closet. And those that I still wear regularly or hold some sort of sentimental value were folded and hung. Problem solved.

I don’t listen to country music. I can’t pretend I know what’s going on in the genre nowadays, and I’m still not convinced that Taylor Swift actually sings country. Yet, one of my favorite songs is “The Gambler” because it gives good life advice, even if you’re not a poker player.

Just as suspected. Britney Spears just released the video for her new song “3,” which you’ve probably been hearing everywhere since it’s sitting at the top of the Billboard music chart. And from that little snippet where she’s being pulled back and forth by two dudes in body paint, I think it’s safe to say that the song is definitely about threesomes rather than, say, math. Sure seems like Hollywood’s gone threesome-crazy, no?

The best part of playing with Barbie dolls was, let’s face it, making them hump. Back then I didn’t know what missionary, doggy-style, or reverse cowgirl were, but my Barbie and Ken dolls sure did. That’s kind of what’s going on in this music video, from some band called Sextapes, only Ken has been traded in for a far more manly dude—G.I. Joe. [videos.antville.org]

Another Kanye West and Spike Jonze collaboration? Yes, please. But the rapper’s recent turn in the 11-minute short film “We Were Once a Fairytale” has some people saying, “No, thanks.” The film shows Kanye drunkenly cavorting with women, discovering a rat demon inside him, and later stabbing himself in the stomach. Kanye has since removed the controversial video from his website, but it will reportedly be available for purchase via iTunes eventually. Keep clicking for other celebs that have crossed the line with violent, controversial music videos and short films.

Carrie Underwood‘s new video for “Cowboy Casanova” is a bit of a departure for her. For some reason, I think this song sounds the way Pink might if she went a little country—this ain’t sweet and pop-y like Taylor Swift. But maybe I get this feeling because Carrie’s sporting some scandalous corset costumes and the lyrics sound a little aggressive.

Chris Brown has released his first single since assaulting Rihanna in February. “I Can Transform Ya” features Lil Wayne and Swizz Beats, who produced the track. You can hear it in the video above, but skip to 2:17 if you don’t want to hear Chris try to figure out how to work his computer. “I Can Transform Ya” sounds like the man’s version of Beyonce‘s “Upgrade U” on B’Day. Even though his version is rather late—“Upgrade U” was released in 2006—I don’t think this should have been his first release after the assault. Each time the hook plays, I think about how he transformed Rihanna’s face. Let us know what you think about the single in the comments.

Paging all Madonnaphiles! The Daily Beast has gone through the trouble of rounding up the “9 Sexiest Madonna Videos” of all time. Some of their picks are spot-on—“Like a Virgin,” “Justify My Love,” “Like a Prayer.” But other choices are downright weird—“Ray of Light” never struck me as particularly sexy. The most notably absent sexy Madonna video? “Human Nature.” You’d think being chained to a chair, spanking a dog, and wearing a latex bikini would count for something in a woman’s career. [The Daily Beast]

I have mixed feelings about Levi Johnston. On the one hand, he’s hot. But on the other, he’s one of those people who just won’t go away. So I’m laughing pretty hard at this hilarious song “Levi Johnston’s Blues” by Ben Folds and Nick Hornby. In the tune, the musician and novelist rip into the Alaskan big papa, portraying him as ignorant, childish and just plain ridic. Ben and Nick poke fun at the Palins while they’re at it. My fave line: “I get on my dirtbike and ride to my girl’s. I’m gonna lay down the law and tell her what’s goin on. I’m a #&@$% redneck I like to hang out with the boys, play some hockey, do some fishin’ and kill some moose.”

It’s new release Tuesday, so it’s time to take the latest tunes for a spin! But first, we’d like to wish Pink a very happy birfday. And ladies, if there’s one thing you do today, it’s gotta be letting Josh Homme and Dave Grohl rock tease you with their new super-group trailer. Man, we can’t wait for them to whip it out! Err, the record. OK, now let’s focus on today, cause it’s got some pretty sweet releases. This week Jay-Z kills it, Mayer Hawthorne is our soul man, A Fine Frenzy drops a bomb, Yo La Tengo has us wanting more, Sondre Lerche makes us like the kinda nova you can’t put on a bagel (aka bossa), and the Vivian Girls rule, boys drool, obvi. So, let’s get into the groove, after the jump!