Sometimes when Tyra Banks booty tooches, she gets juicy muffin top, but she doesn’t care dammit! Tyra posted this photo to her Instagram, drawing attention to the only-slightly-noticeable-because-she-pointed-out extra bit o’ flesh over her jeans, and emphasized how she felt about said muffin top by including the hashtag #perfectisboring. But, like, how long until Tyra is on the cover of Us Weekly sharing her muffin top whittling secrets, you know? This shit is always so cyclical. Also, if that is a muffin top, I’m going to have to come up with something new for what I’ve got going on. Hmm … how about “exploding popover”? [Twitter]
Today’s forecast? More muffin top. Jess talked yesterday about how people shouldn’t assume pregnancy is responsible for that little extra pudge around the middle and just keep their mouths shut when it comes to muffin top. But here’s a new brand of ‘top for you: thigh-high muffin top. Thanks to all those fashionable folks sporting over-the-knee boots this season, we are caught in a veritable muffin top s**tstorm, of sorts. What more should you know about the thigh high muffin top? Let me explain… Keep reading »
One summer during college when I worked at coffee shop, a man with special needs—I think he had Down’s Syndrome—used to come up by the cash register and chat with me all the time. We were shooting the breeze one day and I was standing with my pelvis leaning against the counter, sort of slumped forward. He looked down at my stomach and asked me, “Jessica, are you pregnant?” My eyes widened and I stood ramrod straight, sucking in my belly. “Nooo! I’m not pregnant!” I shrieked. His face flushed with embarrassment and he apologized profusely. And I, of course, felt like an ass for making him feel bad.
Flash forward to Sunday afternoon on a shopping trip to Sephora, when the cashier ringing up my Bliss Spa Best Of Skintentions moisturizer looked down at my stomach and exclaimed, “Awww, are you pregnant?”
Cringe. Keep reading »
Have them expanded. (Like I was going to recommend some newfangled diet or exercise mumbo-jumbo!) A company called Denim Therapy has just launched a service where you send them the jeans that no longer fit and they, well, make ‘em work for your body. Wondering how they give you more room? Check it out… Keep reading »
Unfastening that OMG-I-can’t-breathe top button is one way to fit into your skinny jeans. But for the truly trendy, Skinny Jeans Workout classes claim to obliterate the “muffin tops” (also known as the normal, healthy “stomach”) that pop over most women’s zippers when we zip up our J.Crew matchstick jeans. Keep reading »