I’ve lived with several women, and I don’t blame them for moving out as soon as they became aware of my idiosyncrasies. I don’t even blame them for leaving their cats behind, as long as they don’t blame me for giving the cats away (by opening my kitchen door and yelling at them).

Here are a few common, completely terrifying things you’ll learn about guys if you make the unfortunate decision to move in with one.

Gollum slithered around the picnic tables in a bald wig and a loincloth. Bilbo Baggins manned the barbecue.  An elf with pointy ears asked if we had any veggie burgers.

My boyfriend, David, and I had not come dressed for the “Lord Of The Rings” theme for his family’s annual group vacation with their friends. But costumed or not, I knew I’d be under scrutiny: I’m the first woman he’d brought along to introduce to everybody in his 26 years of attending.

As Gollum lumbered by towards the card table full of key lime pies and cookie burgers, I turned to David and grinned. “Real love,” I said, “is spending the weekend with your parents and their friends when everyone is dressed like Hobbits.” He grinned back and we kissed.

Forty-eight hours later, David and I decided that we would move in together, waking up next to each other every morning and falling asleep together every night. Beginning our lives together this way felt like the right thing to do.

But did I mention we’ve only been dating for two months?

While our government tries to figure out how to get us out of the recession, the Onion News Network “reports” on an option that could solve our sticky economic sitch: Why don’t couples who live in separate apartments move in together? As one girlfriend supporting this course of action says, “In a recession, it just doesn’t make any sense for two people who say they love each other to pay separate rents.” Meanwhile, the boyfriends fear they’ll lose any last semblance of independence.

Whether you’re getting married or have decided to live in (gasp!) sin, the decision to cohabitate is one of the most nerve-wracking, potentially fight-provoking, all-around-scariest things you will do as a couple. Here are some pitfalls to avoid:

1. The Money-Saver Move-In: The recession is kicking everyone’s ass, but if the major reasoning behind your decision to shack up is to save money, don’t. Living together, while fun, is also hard work and you’re going to need a big fat love connection when things get rough.

When you first start dating someone, it usually involves a lot of eating, drinking, and late-night book reading sessions. At the end of all those dates, you normally decide whose place to go to. If you’re like me, and have a roommate (and a railroad apartment), you end up staying at his place. But, after about a dozen times staying over, you realize that the new “bedhead” look you’re sporting to work isn’t looking so hot. Plus, there’s only so many ways you can wear his dress-shirts. (Preppy Wednesday and Friday?)

There comes a point where you aren’t ready to move in yet, but you want to make your stays over there as effortless as possible. Using your boyfriend’s toothbrush and shave gel is romantic for awhile, but if your legs are dry and your teeth are crying for home, it’s time to set up shop. So when do you start making his place your home away from home?

Whether you’re getting hitched or embracing the modern tradition of premarital cohabitation, moving in with your significant other is a big deal. From fighting for the covers every night to waking up with the person you love each morning, this new chapter in your life—especially the first 30 days—may be rife with happy moments and potential conflicts. While there’s no foolproof plan to avoiding relationship complications after you move in together, following these tips will help make the transition that much easier.

You truly don’t know your man until you perform the ultimate test of compatibility. No, it does not involve signing up on eHarmony.com to see if you’re meant to be. To know if your love will last until the end of your days, you must do the inevitable: Move in together.

When my boyfriend of a year and I considered signing a lease together at the beginning of this year, the prospect of living together was a dream come true. I, like many other women, naively thought shacking up was the natural first step to happily-ever-after. Through my rose-colored glasses, I envisioned our bond strengthening and our relationship evolving. Best of all, we’d be together all the time.

After years of back-and-forth, sleeping in two places, bringing a bag to work and trying to schedule my week so I know I’ll be sleeping at my girlfriend’s place at least one night, I caved. I’m moving in with her. Ballgame OVER.