Tag Archives: mouthless woman

What’s With Guys Wanting Women Who Don’t Speak?

This morning, I flew back to New York and caught up on my pop music by listening to the Top 20on20 on XM radio, the one perk Airtran provides. Most of the music was expected — Lady GaGa, Miley Cyrus, Black Eyed Peas — but I’d never heard one of the songs that made it into the top 20: “Don’t Trust Me,” by the Boulder, CO, band 3OH!3. At first, I thought it was pretty catchy. That is, until it got to this part of the song:

Shush girl, shut your lips
Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips
I said, shush girl, shut your lips
Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips

Maybe I’m overly sensitive, but I couldn’t believe a pop song with such offensive lyrics was a hit. Not only is it regularly played on XM’s 20on20, but it popped to number 13 on Billboard’s Hot 100. What do I find wrong with these lyrics? The band disrespects a historically honored woman who persevered despite limitations — she could neither hear nor see, and yet she made a difference in the world. And the lyrics imply the guys don’t want someone who talks. They want a woman without a mouth, who doesn’t speak and uses her body to communicate, rather than making any noise. Keep reading to listen to the song yourself. Keep reading »

Five Things That Would Suck About A Woman Without A Mouth

In the most recent issue of Vice, Chris Nieratko lists 10 inventions he wishes, you know, inventors would make already. He desires a cell phone with lasers, a “titty-milk-catching bag,” and seven others things. That adds up to nine, if you’re counting. The 10th annoyed me.

A Mouthless Woman: A mouthless woman gives me no chance of future blow jobs, but really I have no chance of future blow jobs as it is and my wife has a mouth. But imagine how much quieter the world would be if we could engineer women without mouths.”

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