I was raised in a household that revolved around my mother. She was a narcissist, someone who, according to Wendy Behary, director of the Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and author of Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed is “often self-absorbed and preoccupied with a need to achieve the perfect image (recognition, status, or being envied) and have little or no capacity for listening, caring, or understanding the needs of others.” My mom hasn’t been formally diagnosed—few narcissists seek treatment or even recognize that they have a problem—but growing up, the signs were all around me. Read more ...

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I’ve been married all of 11 days now and, as if on cue, the day my husband (still very much getting used to saying that!) and I tied the knot, he stopped putting the toilet seat down. I ignored it at first, but by our first weekend together as a married couple, I couldn’t stand it any longer and said something to him about it. I made a jokey comment about his sudden change in behavior — more embarrassed than pissed at being such a cliché so early in our marriage. After over three years together, surely he must realize if there’s one thing I wanted to avoid in marriage it was being a cliché, but I suppose the lesson here is that that’s a lost cause for any married couple, even those of us who think we’re so “modern.” One cliché I will be able to avoid, though, is the terrible mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship so many women have. My own mother-in-law passed away long before I got a chance to meet her, and while I’d love to think we would have had a wonderful relationship — if her sons are any indication, she was a terrific woman and I hope she would have approved of me — the odds, apparently, aren’t in our favor.

Right after giving birth to her son, James, new mama Joanne Mackie started finding blisters on her arms and legs. A few days later, she winced whenever anything touched the painful rash and the tiny blisters that had blossomed into painful welts. Joanne was in such agony she could no longer hold her baby and daddy took over. The new mother was stumped, but a trip to the doctor was even more baffling. Joanne was allergic to her baby. The 28-year-old mother suffers from a rare but painful and dangerous skin disease, Pemphigoid Gestationis.

I’ll never forget the first time I met the mother of a particular ex-boyfriend. We were vacationing together in the South of France (glamorous locale, yes, but not the place you want to spend a week with your boyfriend’s family!) and I was sort of stunned by the physical relationship between my then-boyfriend and his mother. I should say they’re from a different cultural background than I (they’re Middle Eastern) and maybe that was part of it, but they literally could NOT keep their hands off each other. They hugged, kissed on the lips, caressed each other. It was seriously bizarre. At one point, my ex-boyfriend’s mother even talked about his “golden penis” (over dinner!)—a term she said was some kind of figure of speech in their culture. Um, ohhhkay. Needless to say, it was trés uncomfortable for me and when we broke up several months later it was with much relief that I realized I’d never have to endure another mother-son make-out fest ever again. Remembering all this, I read today’s letter in Salon’s advice column with a lot of empathy. Read it yourself after the jump.

New research suggests that a mother’s ability to determine whether her child is overweight and at risk for physical health problems depends on her own weight. Overweight mothers seem to have a tendency of underestimating their child’s weight, according to the findings of Dr. Petra Warschburger and Katja Kroller of the University of Potsdam in Germany. However, they do recognize that being overweight can lead to mental health problems for children because the mothers “experience weight-related emotional strain,” according to researchers. Since many of the mothers were able to accurately determine whether an unrelated child was overweight, researchers believe the mothers’ judgment of their children is affected by their emotions not a universal inability to recognize overweight children. [Reuters]

But their could be some hope for overweight children who become overweight or obese teens…

We’ve heard of chicken pox parties, where parents get their healthy kids together with ones who have the pox hoping that they’ll pick up the germies. The idea is, since you can only get chicken pox once, to get it over with so that kids can build up their immune systems and avoid getting chicken pox vaccines. Yeah, we don’t think it’s a good idea, but at least it makes slight logical sense.

However, we just don’t get why some mothers are thinking about throwing swine flu parties. Same idea, different disease—they want to strengthen their children’s immune systems in case a stronger swine flu strain comes around in the fall. But a swine flu party is just outrageous! Doctors are firmly warning against the idea as several people have died from H1N1 in the months it’s been around. So mothers, if you know what’s best, skip the Swine Par-tay. Throw a Dora, Dora, the Explorer shindig instead. [CNN]

A mother’s love is supposed to be unconditional, right? Well, that’s not what a new study released by the Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital found. According to the small study of 27 volunteers, babies that are less attractive might not get as much attention from their mothers.

Oscar Wilde quipped, “Every woman grows up to be her mother: it is her curse. No man does, and that is his.” Men should aspire to the best of their parental units. No dig against fathers. But my mother’s example has made me a better man.

I’m not a momma’s boy, I’m just a man who loves his momma. I try and call once a week. We’re not all up in each other’s businesses, but we’ve got each other’s backs. We are each other’s biggest fans, and we both prefer our beer in bottles.

I like to think I’ve broken Wilde’s curse and grown up to be like her. Maybe I get points for the attempt. Some things you should know up front about Mrs. DeVore: She is a badass, an artist, and a very beautiful lady. She taught me the very basics that a mother should teach her son: how to cook, how to sew, and how to be gentlemen. Most importantly, she taught me to make the most of who you are because you are all you’ve got.

When your three-year-old climbs onto your lap and asks, “Do you love me the best, Mama?,” what do you say? “Well, yes, but not as much as I love your Daddy?” I don’t think so.

I worship my mother.  She’s smart, funny, annoyingly good at most things she does, determined, stylish, everything. And I’m still kind of scared of her. We’re talking about a woman who booked the date of my wedding before I even knew I was going to get married. That’s right—between the time that my soon-to-be-fiance Steve asked for my parents’ blessing and the time that he actually popped the question, Mom made a few phone calls. She already knew she wanted the wedding to take place in the fall. Many years earlier, she had told me this, and I had casually mentioned it to Steve in one of my casual reminders during the home stretch of our five-year courtship that I was ready to move forward. When he spoke to my parents, Mom asked what time of year he was thinking for a wedding.

“Fall?” Steve said.

“What a great idea!” she said. Of course it was a great idea—it was her idea.

Your mother is probably a pretty remarkable lady—I know mine is. But what do you get the woman who provides moral support at 6am when your radiator is spewing hot water? Yeah, buying a present as special as Mom is a tall order.

“I am an 18-year old college student. I have been dating an amazing guy who is nine months older than me for over two years. He is also in college, but we go to different universities. We have been having sex since I was 17 and the only problem has been my mother, who has disapproved. I thought that when I was in college she would leave me alone. realize that I am an adult, and give me some freedom. But no. When I recently told her that I had spent the night with my boyfriend, she got mad and said that I should have asked her. She doesn’t know that we have sex (after two years, she could hardly assume two hormonal teenagers would behave like saints), but how can I tell her to back off and that I am not her little innocent girl anymore?”—Bird Who’s Left The Nest, via email

Last night Michelle Obama spoke at the Democratic National Convention and gave what I found to be an extremely inspiring speech—I especially appreciated that she didn’t seem to be overly rehearsed and even occasionally stumbled over her words. I’m not down with my politicians or my politicians spouses seeming like robotic newscasters. Anyway, the bulk of Michelle’s speech was about being a wife and mother and her hopes for the country—at the end she brought out daughters Malia and Sascha, who behaved as adorably as you would expect. Politics aside, Michelle’s speech got me thinking about what it means to be a successful professional, partner, and parent, especially when she referenced “Hillary Clinton’s 18 million cracks in the glass ceiling.” it was clear she did appreciate what her husband’s rival did for women, especially given what her hopes must be for her own daughters. With that in mind—and that today marks the 88th anniversary of the passing of the 19th Amendment, which gave women the right to vote—what are your hopes for your children, specifically your daughters? A few of mine after the jump and I really hope you’ll chime in with your own in the comments.

Have you seen graffiti that’s kind of sweet (even if it is against the law)? Send us a pic at tips@thefrisky.com.

Even though participation in government assistance programs has risen a little in recent years for mothers who have given birth in the last year, participation is still lower than it was when welfare reform was enacted in 1996. According to a report by the U.S. Census Bureau, the mothers who were most likely to receive assistance were younger than 25, living with either no other adult or an unmarried partner, a minority, did not work in the past month, never attended college, or did not receive child support. In 2004, 7.5 million mothers of childbearing age (15 to 44) participated in at least one of six different public assistance programs. [U.S. Census Bureau]

“I have a lot of beautiful animals that I look after and I feel I would have a lot to give my children.” —Paris Hilton

A mommy website is honoring Dina Lohan as one of its mothers of the year—not because she’s done a good job as a parent to her children, but because she’s from Long Island! “We’re just honoring celebrity moms on Long Island,” a spokesperson for MinglingMoms.com said. “It’s something for Mother’s Day. It’s a list of mothers from Long Island who have raised superstar children.” Other mothers being honored are Carol Baldwin (mother to the Baldwin brothers), Billy Joel’s mom, Natalie Portman’s mom, Mariah Carey’s mom, and Jennifer Lopez (who gave birth to her twins in L.I.). This is the dumbest award ever. [WENN]

Speaking of plastic surgery and kids, a new picture book is coming out this Mother’s Day called “My Beautiful Mommy” which attempts to explain to kids why their mother is getting cosmetic surgery. Strangely, the book wasn’t written by a mom who has had plastic surgery, but by a a plastic surgeon named Dr. Michael Salzhauer. While you might assume that Dr. Salzhauer wrote the book out of genuine concern for the family dynamics of his patients, he actually uses it as a tool to convince mothers to get plastic surgery. The book’s message is that mommy is so much more beautiful after her tummy tuck and nose job —and that your little girl or boy will be totally thrilled with your results too! [Newsweek]