Over the weekend, I got an urgent letter from a lady who thinks she might be knocked-up. Here’s what she wrote:

“My boyfriend always pulls out when we’re having sex. He’s usually super reliable, but last night he slipped up and came inside me. I freaked at him, but then this morning I got my period, thank god. So I’m in the clear, right?”

Um, sorry hot stuff, the answer is no. You can get preggers even during your period. I know, it sucks, but that’s why I’m urgently answering your email. Lucky for you, there’s the morning-after pill (aka, Plan B). It’s an over-the-counter miracle! By preventing conception, it stops you from having to answer that existential question: Should I be a mom, right now?

What’s especially genius about The Onion‘s mock-up of “Plan C,” the Morning After the Morning After Pill, is that we’re not entirely sure that the anti-choice movement isn’t looking to create something similar. Anyway, hypothetical question: Would the Morning After Pill work if you took it after the Morning After the Morning After Pill? [The Onion]