A new study conducted at the University of Buffalo found that the secret to a happy marriage is being slightly delusional about your partner. Researchers found that those who tend to idealize their beloved do better than pragmatists like myself when it comes to long-term happiness in marriage. “People are very good at changing their definitions to match how they want to see themselves or how they want to see others … Seeing a less-than-ideal partner as a reflection of one’s ideals predicted a certain level of immunity to the corrosive effects of time,’’ said head researcher, Sandra Murry. Aaahhh, so there is immunity to the corrosive effects of time on long-term love relationships — being out of touch with reality. You mean, I too have the power to control my romantic future with a glass-always-half-full kind of attitude and a pair of rose-colored spectacles that I leave on at all times? I am soooo screwed. [Boston.com] Keep reading »
When I first met my husband Noah ten years ago, if you had met me, you would have thought to yourself, “Now here is a smart woman. She’s getting her M.B.A, great job, confident. Here is a woman with tons of self esteem.” And you would have been right. That was all true. Which is why what I am about to tell you is even more shocking.
By our third date, Noah was so taken aback by my big reactions towards his small acts of kindness, that he felt compelled to take me by the hands and say to me, “Christine, I don’t know what is going to happen between the two of us, but regardless, you have to raise your standards for men. You can’t like a man because he is nice to you. He is SUPPOSED to be nice to you!” Keep reading »
At first, dating expert Rori Raye’s ideas about how to get a man to commit seemed counter-intuitive: Don’t be his girlfriend? Don’t try to win him over? But then we realized this: Rori wants us to get a man to commit by being our most authentic selves, which, in turn, allows men to be their most authentic selves. And that makes a lot of sense.
These tips are only the beginning. If you want more of Rori’s wisdom check out her blog and newsletter, “Have The Relationship You Want,” where she goes into much more detail. Keep reading »
Last week, Jennifer Doll offered a familiar lament in the pages of the Village Voice: “Dear Single Women of NYC: It’s Not Them, It’s You.” Though her focus is on New York, Doll could have been describing almost any large American city in which the number of single, straight, employed, and emotionally competent men is apparently dwarfed by the number of women who want to meet them.
The “man shortage” is a perennial go-to for articles aimed at women readers; these pieces differ mainly in the degree to which they blame the crisis on women’s ambition, pickiness, or sexual aggressiveness. Keep reading »
My Tuesday evening ritual consists of the following: an hour and a half of yoga and meditation, followed by a hot bubble bath, in which I either drink a glass of wine or eat a Haagen-Daz Coffee Crunch ice cream bar, while wearing a mud mask and lisening to Dan Savage‘s Savage Love podcast. I highly recommend this entire evening routine. It makes the following day, Hump Day, that much easier. Keep reading »
“Marriage doesn’t mean anything to me. It’s more for their families than for the two partners, so I’m not gravitating towards it. I’m very loyal, I’ve never strayed, and never wanted to. I don’t need to be married, because I feel married.”
– Jon Hamm explains that he doesn’t need a piece of paper to prove his loyalty to longtime girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt. I’m sorry, but everything that comes out of this man’s mouth makes me love him more. [Celebitchy] Keep reading »