Tag Archives: monogamy

Girl Talk: In Praise Of Monogamy

Rachel Rabbit WhiteNovember 2, 2011 //
monogamy

Recently my husband and I went on a double date. We met my friend Kate and her husband Bear, at a German Beer Hall. I hadn’t met Bear, and I always find meeting a friend’s partner interesting. Kate seemed to come to life in Bear’s presence. He is upbeat but sensible, she is witty and wildly imaginative. She is small and brunette, he is big and blond. They are a physical yin and yang. And even though there was plenty of room on the bench, they sat close, Kate in the nook of his arm. Keep reading »

Mind Of Man: Sure, Monogamy Is Unnatural

John DeVoreSeptember 1, 2011 //

My lady friend asked me if I thought it was “absurd” to want to be monogamous with someone and I immediately told her that I did not think it was absurd. It’s absurd to want to be monogamous with a rhinoceros or a pineapple. Especially pineapples, because they are the sluttiest fruit. But I do think that wanting or expecting monogamy is unnatural. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Always Ask The Big Questions

Amelia McDonell-ParryAugust 5, 2011 //

Can you see yourself with him forever? I asked myself just, oh, the other day.Yes. Yes I can. I had asked this question of myself a few months ago too, but about someone else. The answer was the same. And about six months before that. Same question, same answer. Did I mention I’m currently single?

This week, I read Dater X’s latest column with great interest. The idea that maybe we should be asking ourselves bigger questions — “Can I see myself marrying/spending my life with this person?” — about the people we date is not a foreign concept to me. I ask myself that question almost right away with nearly every single person I date; and, with a few exceptions, my subconscious usually answers “yes.” At least at first. Keep reading »

Soapbox: Why I Must Consider Non-Monogamy

Amelia McDonell-ParryJuly 5, 2011 //
My First Time...
...being polyamorous. Read More »
My Open Marriage
How an open relationship works for one married couple. Read More »
Open Isn't For Everyone
John DeVore opens up about polyamory. Read More »

The other day, I was talking to one of my lesbian friends about the difference between gay and straight relationships. “Being a straight woman, who may want to get married someday, means I have to entertain the notion of having a nonmonogamous marriage,” I argued.

“Why?” she challenged me. (I get this reaction a lot. Especially from women, gay or straight, who tend to get defensive when I say something to this effect.)

“Not to consider it would mean I’m in denial,” I replied. Keep reading »

The 9 Types Of Pre-Exclusive Relationships

Scott AldenJune 29, 2011 //

One of the most frequently asked questions in the world of dating has got to be “If they’re not your significant other, than what the hell are they?” Well, pre-exclusive relationships (or PXRs) don’t have to be a frustrating grey area anymore. Here’s a handy guide to the 9 most common types of PXRs, all converted into abbreviations for easy texting. Keep reading »

Monogamous Sex Is Best For Society, Says Conservative Dude

Jessica WakemanMarch 7, 2011 //

With so many points of clarifications that we could use from social conservatives — Single motherhood is bad! But so is abortion! — one would think The New York Times‘ conservative columnist, Ross Douthat, would have plenty of rich, complicated topics to dig into. But in an op-ed column that ran yesterday, Douhat argued in defense of monogamy, praising social conservatives for their “optimistic” attitudes about love and happiness, and even went so far as to cheer on abstinence-only education sex ed programs that delay sexual behavior in teenagers. Keep reading »

Delusion Does A Happy Marriage Make

Ami AngelowiczMarch 7, 2011 //

A new study conducted at the University of Buffalo found that the secret to a happy marriage is being slightly delusional about your partner. Researchers found that those who tend to idealize their beloved do better than pragmatists like myself when it comes to long-term happiness in marriage. “People are very good at changing their definitions to match how they want to see themselves or how they want to see others … Seeing a less-than-ideal partner as a reflection of one’s ideals predicted a certain level of immunity to the corrosive effects of time,’’ said head researcher, Sandra Murry. Aaahhh, so there is immunity to the corrosive effects of time on long-term love relationships — being out of touch with reality. You mean, I too have the power to control my romantic future with a glass-always-half-full kind of attitude and a pair of rose-colored spectacles that I leave on at all times? I am soooo screwed. [Boston.com] Keep reading »

Why Smart Women Fail At Relationships

YourTango.comMarch 5, 2011 //

When I first met my husband Noah ten years ago, if you had met me, you would have thought to yourself, “Now here is a smart woman. She’s getting her M.B.A, great job, confident. Here is a woman with tons of self esteem.” And you would have been right. That was all true. Which is why what I am about to tell you is even more shocking.

By our third date, Noah was so taken aback by my big reactions towards his small acts of kindness, that he felt compelled to take me by the hands and say to me, “Christine, I don’t know what is going to happen between the two of us, but regardless, you have to raise your standards for men. You can’t like a man because he is nice to you. He is SUPPOSED to be nice to you!” Keep reading »

Top 10 Surprising Ways To Get A Guy To Commit

YourTango.comFebruary 26, 2011 //

At first, dating expert Rori Raye’s ideas about how to get a man to commit seemed counter-intuitive: Don’t be his girlfriend? Don’t try to win him over? But then we realized this: Rori wants us to get a man to commit by being our most authentic selves, which, in turn, allows men to be their most authentic selves. And that makes a lot of sense.

These tips are only the beginning. If you want more of Rori’s wisdom check out her blog and newsletter, “Have The Relationship You Want,” where she goes into much more detail. Keep reading »

Why Don’t Men Settle Down?

Hugo SchwyzerFebruary 17, 2011 //

Last week, Jennifer Doll offered a familiar lament in the pages of the Village Voice: “Dear Single Women of NYC: It’s Not Them, It’s You.” Though her focus is on New York, Doll could have been describing almost any large American city in which the number of single, straight, employed, and emotionally competent men is apparently dwarfed by the number of women who want to meet them.

The “man shortage” is a perennial go-to for articles aimed at women readers; these pieces differ mainly in the degree to which they blame the crisis on women’s ambition, pickiness, or sexual aggressiveness. Keep reading »

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