Tag Archives: monkeys

Damn! Calorie Restriction Makes Monkeys Live Longer

According to a new study done on (cute!) rhesus monkeys, calorie restriction—i.e. eating way far fewer calories than is currently recommended—has been shown to slow the aging process. The monkeys whose caloric intake was reduced by about one-third lived longer than those on a regular diet. Calorie restriction also slowed the loss of gray matter in the brain, which is the part of your noggin that responds to stimuli… Keep reading »

Will Have Sex For Meat

You know how women get offended when a man expects a little nooky after paying for an expensive steak dinner? A woman should never be pressured to do something sexually she doesn’t want to do, but there is scientific evidence that suggests the man’s expectations are only natural.

German researchers have found that female chimpanzees mate more often with males who have shared their meat with them (no pun intended), suggesting that chimps exchange sex for meat. Males who shared their meat with females mated twice as much in general, and they mated frequently with the females they gave meat to on a regular basis. Females who had difficulty obtaining their own meat seemed to find it more beneficial to trade sex for meat, rather than exerting themselves hunting and risking potential injury. Sounds like a win-win situation. The females increased their caloric intake, and the males sowed their oats. Chimps are highly promiscuous animals, males have a choice of females to a certain degree, and hunters can usually control who shares their kill, so the sex-for-meat hypothesis is a plausible explanation for male-to-female meat sharing, according to the researchers. Researchers say these findings will help to explain human male-female relationships. [Reuters] Keep reading »

The Daily Squeeze: Lost Rings, Monkey Porn, And Breast Cancer

  • This is a really sad story. A woman who was in a car accident was airlifted to a hospital and eventually died, survived by her husband, a four-year-old and a one-year-old. At some point when she was in the hospital, her engagement and wedding rings, which she designed, went missing. Now there’s a $20,000 award for them, because her husband wants her sons to have something that belonged to her. [CNN]
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    The Daily Squeeze: Texting On The Toilet, A Sex-Crazed Monkey, And Fines For Flashing

  • Sixty-three percent of Americans have used a smart phone in the bathroom, according to a report from Solutions Research Group. We’re wondering how many of the emails and texts in our inbox were written on the john. [MSNBC]
  • The Pussycat Dolls have been fined $3,400 for flashing body parts during a concert in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, last summer. “I believe the way the Pussycat Dolls behaved on stage amounted to gross indecency,” said Malaysia’s culture minister Rais Yatim. No, their songs amount to gross indecency. [Monsters and Critics]
  • In the Indian village of Cherukulapadu, a supposedly sex-crazed monkey is attacking women, and it reportedly caused one elderly women to die from shock after it jumped on her. [Telegraph, U.K.]
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    The Daily Squeeze: Banking Vs. Sex, Monkeys, And A Fake Orgasm Lawsuit

  • People in China are more interested in reading about banks and stocks than sex, according to the most popular words Googled in 2007. [Reuters]
  • Before female macaques (monkeys) in Kalimantan Tengah, Indonesia, will have sex, the males must groom them for about eight minutes. But even more incredible is that the females had sex an average of 1.5 times per hour unless they had just been groomed, in which case the number became 3.5 times per hour. Talk about getting busy. [Fox]
  • A model is suing a jewelry company because it looks like she’s having an orgasm in a TV ad she’s in. She says she didn’t think that’s what she was doing when they were filming and was told to “fake excitement.” Some would probably argue those are the same. [International Herald Tribune]
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    Female Monkeys Are Screamers In The Sack

    Your roommate isn’t the only one under the impression that screaming loudly makes sex better. According to a new study, female monkeys call out before, during, and after doing it. But their screams’ purpose isn’t just to annoy monkeys in neighboring trees. The study concluded that the females’ yells make them more attractive to the guys, helping them ejaculate. When the females didn’t holler, the males ejaculated less than 2 percent of the time. Also, yelling led to more vigorous sex. How did researchers discover this? By channeling their inner voyeur: “Counting monkey pelvic thrusts is admittedly quite weird, but it’s science. You get used to it,” one researcher said. [Times of India]
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