I hate it when I’m sitting on the grass, trying to enjoy a lollipop and a monkey comes along and steals it. Even worse is when the monkey steals my lollipop and then hits me in the face with it. That’s so fucked up! Well, at least this puppy is getting a lesson in sharing at a young age. But regardless, that monkey is a complete asshole. It must be stopped. [Dlisted]
The heart wants what it wants, and in the case of a mysterious monkey that popped up in a Toronto Ikea parking lot, the heart apparently wanted Swedish meatballs and cheaply made TV consoles. The Rhesus Macaque monkey was apparently in a crate in a car in the store’s parking lot when it escaped, wandering around the lot in an adorable coat. Toronto Police Sgt. Ed Dzingala stated the obvious about the situation, noting that, “It’s a smart monkey.” Keep reading »
You might have heard that scientists discovered a new breed of monkey in the Democratic Republic of Congo, one of which was apparently being kept in captivity by a local schoolteacher like it was no big deal. You might have also heard about a woman in Spain who attempted to restore a 19th century fresco by Elias Garcia Martinez, but ended up botching it beyond belief. What do these two things have in common? Keep reading »
So, a zoo keeper in China took on the incredibly gross but selfless task of licking a monkey’s butt to save its life. A leaf monkey at the Wuhan Zoo became dangerously constipated after it ingested a peanut that had been thrown in its enclosure. Zhang Bangsheng determined that the peanut was too large to pass through the monkey’s system on its own and therefore had to be extracted manually by licking and sucking it out. After the jump, Jessica and I discuss over IM. Keep reading »
Hey Frisky readers, consider this post/video my formal announcement that I am in the market for a baby monkey. I will pay in cash money and squees. Lucca has given her bark of approval. I’ve got a tiny towel all ready for after bath time. I promise not to spank my monkey either. So if you happen to hear of a baby monkey available for adoption, you know where to find me.
This is what happened when a photographer left his camera unattended at a national park in Indonesia. A female black macaque monkey, clearly eager for a new Facebook profile pic, turned the lens on herself and started snapping away. She’s a natural. See how important opposable thumbs are. [Daily Mail UK] Keep reading »
While a lot of celebrities like to walk around with their cooters out, it turns out that just means they’re less evolved females. Big surprise! But seriously, evolution is to blame for all the problems men have reading women’s sexual signals — although it seems like the trade off was worth it. Back in the day, when we were monkeys, our privates were very public. When our hairy ancestors were in heat, their vajayjay butts would swell up and then they’d go around trying to get laid by showing off the hot mess to the males like this. Conversely, since the apes walked around on all fours, the men’s junk was hidden, so if they popped up, no one was the wiser. Needless to say, ape sexuality was totally backwards by today’s human standards. So, how’d our fates get reversed? Keep reading »