The Beatles had it right when they crooned “Money can’t buy me love.” For sure. It’s impossible to put a price tag on the important things in relationships. BUT … if opening his wallet to buy you a drink throws your date into an existential crisis, there’s a problem.
Now that I’m and “adult” and living on my own, I’m forced to come to grips with what it takes to be financially responsible for myself. Meaning, I prioritize my car payment and rent over the many cute new outfits that I would like to buy. And to be honest, I’m finding that it isn’t such a difficult concept to grasp. So what is it, then, with the guys I end up dating? Every man I’ve been out with lately has a dysfunctional relationship with his wallet: cheapskates, millionaires, and the down-and-out and broke. It’s getting to be annoying. Keep reading »
Australian mining tycoon Gina Rinehart is really concerned about your welfare. That’s why Rinehart — who is considered the richest woman in the world, with an inherited fortune of $30.1 billion — helpfully offered her unsolicited advice on how to be stupid-rich, just like her. She says that the poors are just having too much fun and they need to buckle down and get serious if they want to stop being so disgustingly not rich.
“If you’re jealous of those with more money, don’t just sit there and complain,” she tsk-tsked. “Do something to make more money yourself — spend less time drinking or smoking and socializing, and more time working.” Ah! So that’s what I’ve been doing wrong — it’s my smoking and drinking problem that’s getting in the way of s-u-c-c-e-s-s. Keep reading »
One of the things I’ve learned, over my many years of roadtripping in and across Texas, is that hell is being stuck going 50 miles per hour behind a recreational vehicle. But recently, I’ve come to wonder if heaven might be being behind the wheel of one.
I don’t generally dream about buying big-ticket things like cars and houses. I’m a freelance writer, after all. At this point, saving even a few hundred dollars a year is a struggle — though that got significantly less stressful once I moved in with, and later married, my husband. Splitting rent and groceries and bills has taken significant pressure off my wheezing bank account — even more so than living with roommates.
So maybe that’s why I started letting myself fantasize about taking long trips to Marfa in a giant vehicle with a wildcat or a wolf emblazoned on the back. When I proposed this to Patrick, he was, as we say here in Texas, “raring to go.” Some couples dream of outfitting a nursery. Patrick and I dream of converting an engine to biodiesel and training the cats to ride shotgun. Keep reading »
Yesterday, I finally did something that I had been meaning to do for awhile: I walked into a Crunch Gym and canceled my membership. Which I had been paying for, for a year. And have never used once. Like, hadn’t even picked up my membership card. Pathetic.
When I think about how much money I completely wasted, I want to punch myself. Alas, it’s not the first time I’ve practically flushed my hard-earned cash down the toilet. I have made some truly stupid spending decisions over the years, and in an effort to never be so frivolously lazy again, I am going to share them with you. Feel free to make me feel better by the ways in which you have completely wasted money in the comments! Keep reading »
Some thoughts for Taylor Cotter (the 22-year-old girl who wrote about wishing she could be poorer on the Huffington Post):
Right now things kinda suck. I know. You wrote an oblivious-sounding piece about how you kind of wished you were getting the chance to be poor and scrappy in your 20s, like artistic people are supposed to be. Like the girls on “Girls,” which sometimes seems very realistic because Lena Dunham is the only young woman with any body fat on TV. And then the piece went up on HuffPo and then Gawker picked it up and now everyone is making fun of you.
My friend sent it to me. She was like “OMG this girl wishes she was poor!” and I was already worried about you.
I mean, maybe you’re totally OK and don’t even care. Maybe you’re laughing. But if you’re anything like me, I’m guessing you’re not. I’m guessing you’re more like, “Oh shit shit shit. No wait! I didn’t mean it that way! Wait, guys! I’m not that bad! I swear. I said that in a funny way. I was trying to make this point, and I was trying to illustrate it, and the piece is more about how we’re taught that being poor is cool when you’re an artist than about how I actually really wish I was poor. The piece is really more about the images we’re given of artists. And how it can be awkward not to fit the image, even if that means being more stable than the image. You know? Seriously! I’m not a bad person!” Keep reading »
Here’s a comforting thought: while our planet threatens to transmogrify into an Easy Bake oven, the world economy teeters on the edge of collapse, and Scientology is permitted to exist as a viable religion and way of life, there’s a 22-year-old out there who’s bummed out because she’s never been poor. Taylor Cotter, a 2012 graduate of Northeastern University, grieves the fact that just two months after completing her Journalism degree, she has an editorial job, a car, an apartment, and a 401k, none of which factor into the “10-cents-a-word” life she always dreamed of. It’s not surprising, coming from a girl who begins her lament, titled “A Struggle of Not Struggling,” by stating that “like most female journalists,” her only two inspirations in life were Carrie Bradshaw and Harriet the Spy, and it makes me wonder — has Cotter, who lives outside of Boston, ever actually been to New York City? Keep reading »
When you leave your house everyday to go to work or school, you assume that your cat is keeping things in order, right? Like, maybe he’s playing with a ball of string or has found the odd hair tie to chew on under your bed, but certainly he’s not doing anything terribly unseemly. Not so, say the makers of Ca$hCats.biz, a site devoted to chronicling cats with cash, drugs and guns. “I got a couple of New Year’s Eve photos that were way off the charts.” says Will Kleinart, who founded the site. ”They’d probably give PETA a heart attack. Literally, just, like, huge lines of coke and the cats near them with bottles of champagne in the background. And, of course, the requisite 20- and 50-dollar bills.”
What does it take to make a photo worthy of Ca$hCats? A stack of money and a cat, really. Check out a few more examples after the jump. [Vice] Keep reading »
I am going to smack the next idiot who tells me that raising her children full time — by which she really means going to Jivamukti classes and pedicure appointments while the nanny babysits — is her feminist choice.
This is how writer Elizabeth Wurtzel begins a piece on TheAtlantic.com entitled titled “1 Percent Wives Are Helping To Kill Feminism And Make The War On Women Possible.”
You know, subtle.
And it goes downhill from there. Keep reading »
I wasn’t always good at negotiating. As a writer, I was usually just delighted to be getting paid anything at all, so if I was told a freelance rate or a starting salary was standard or set in stone, I took it and I liked it, with the kind of deranged enthusiasm that you only have at the beginning — until a few years ago, when I walked into my boss’ office and quit my job. I didn’t have another full time job lined up; I quit so I could freelance full time.
Suddenly, I had to hustle. I was pitching stories sometimes multiple times a week, and negotiating a rate for each and every one. I wasn’t great at it at first—it was scary to ask for more money even when an assignment clearly called for it. But I did, again and again. Soon, I had it down—I was successfully negotiating for a higher rate more often than I wasn’t, I found a steady freelance gig I could count on for steady cash-flow, and by the end of my second year freelancing, I was raking in more than I had ever made when I had a full time job.
Anyway, so just wanted to share all my good fortune. Hope you guys are good, we should totes get together for a drink sometime, byeeeee.
Oh, wait, you wanted some advice for how you can become a better negotiator too? Sure, I’ve got that.
Keep reading »
We’re broke, we’re unemployed, we owe student loans, we’re living off our parents, we have degrees in things like English and Philosophy, we’re unprecedentedly narcissistic, and as if we couldn’t get any more charming, all the money we do have we spend on luxury goods: welcome to Generation Y, bitches! The millennial epoch, composed of those born between 1980 and 2000, is the fastest-growing demographic of those who purchase luxury goods. Consumers of this generation increased spending on premium fashion and services by 33 percent in 2011, and while boomers remain the foremost buyers of luxury items at 50 percent, millennials have altered their habits drastically in the past year alone. Keep reading »