A little background on me. I’m almost 35 years old, I went to an in-state university (UC Santa Cruz), I worked two jobs almost full-time during school, my parents helped me financially in ways that they could, and I had to take out student loans that I am not yet, but almost done paying back. I consider myself much luckier than many. I was able to find a way to afford to go to college in a country where getting a higher education has become more and more expected and less and less feasible. I do not for a second think that I am better than those who had to incur more debt in order to do so. The same cannot be said for xoJane writer Jessica Slizewski, who penned one of the most idiotic and tone deaf pieces I’ve possibly ever read on the internet, entitled “Unpopular Opinion: I Don’t Have Student Loans And I Don’t Feel Bad For People Who Do.” Keep reading »
Growing up, my parents made about the same amount of money, which wasn’t all that much; we were solidly on the lower end of the middle class. As far as I was concerned, we were fine and when I would picture my life someday as an adult, I never imagined or aspired to make a significant amount of money, let alone to be rich. And when I reached the age where day-dreaming about my eventual romantic life became a regular pastime, I never considered that I could or would have anything different than the setup my parents had. My husband and I would contribute 50/50 to the household; it wasn’t even a question.
Years later, as an independent single woman, I’ve of course realized that there are many ways to divide up responsibility in a household. I’ve also realized that my earning potential is beyond what I ever thought it could be, even as recently as five years ago. I am profoundly lucky. That, along with my status as a single 30-something with a strong desire for children, has made me think long and hard about how different my role as a hopeful wife and mother might end up being in comparison to what I had envisioned. Female-breadwinner households are the subject of Time‘s cover story this week, which examines how this trend (which is likely to be more common than male-breadwinner household in the next generation) has affected male and female relationships. The piece resonated with me because one of the things I have concluded is that, in the right situation, I would be happy to be the primary earner in my family. Keep reading »
It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Lucky in Love But Not In Money” who was saving for a house and felt resentful that her friends only invited her to participate in pricey activities even after they skipped out on throwing her a bridal shower and bachelorette party for her recent marriage and didn’t spend enough on her for her wedding. After the jump, she shares a few words … Keep reading »
Money matters are one of the most common topics couples disagree on, so if you’ve never done taxes with your honey before, you might want to brace yourself. Since April 15 is right around the corner, we asked Ryan S. Himmel, CPA and founder of the personal finance website BIDaWIZ, for advice on how to do taxes as a couple without killing one another. Keep reading »
Is it just me or are men getting a little bit more polite? Jaded New Yorker that I am, I tend to assume anyone close to me on the subway is trying to steal my wallet or feel me up. Though the “accidental” ass-grab still happens about once a week, it’s becoming less frequent. I choose to view the lack of groping phenomenon not as a sign of my decreasing desirability, but as a sign of increasing old fashioned manners. In my semi-scientific survey I have discovered that at least three other women agree that men these days are more likely to offer gals their seat on the bus, carry heavy bags, open doors and pay compliments, even when there is no hope of sex. I have a theory: the recession. Maybe I am just searching for the silver lining on the dreary financial cloud, but I do think the economic woes have made us slightly more civilized. Before I conclusively decide exactly what factor is making dudes walking examples of Emily Post etiquette, I will postulate my three main theories. Keep reading »