Tag Archives: mommy wars

Mommie Dearest: Gwyneth Paltrow & GOOP Wade Into The “Mommy Wars”

Gwyneth Mommie Dearest

With the way the media shoves the “mommy wars” down our throats, I’m amazed that there isn’t already a reality show based on that concept out there. (Reality TV producers, this is NOT an invitation to prove me wrong). You could have a handful of women battling it out for their child’s love! Or society’s approval! They would earn or lose points based on whether they ate deli meat or soft cheese during pregnancy, whether they had a homebirth or a highly medicalized one, whether they breastfed their kids, used cloth diapers, only fed organic, stayed home or went back to work.

It would be exhausting to watch, and truth be told, there wouldn’t be any winners. This is exactly how I feel most days as I watch the “mommy wars” being trotted out as a way for women to pit themselves against other women in morning news segments, blog headlines and magazine covers. I still shudder when picturing TIME‘s infamous “Are You Mom Enough?” cover.

So it should surprise exactly no one that when I read Gwyneth Paltrow’s latest GOOP newsletter with her own thoughts on the “mommy wars,” I couldn’t help but cringe. Keep reading »

Mommie Dearest: Don’t Turn Public School Vs. Private School Into A Battle In The Mommy Wars

Wear This, Not That
Wear This, Not That: What To Put On To Go To Class
How not to dress inappropriately for class. Read More »
Cramming!
College student cramming for a final
An inner monologue while cramming for a final. Read More »
school girl

This week, many kids, including my own, are headed back to school. And, like anything parenting-related, school brings along with it its own heaping pile of judgement. What school do you send your child to? Public? Private? Charter? Or do you homeschool or unschool? Regardless of what might work best for your own child and family, there is plenty of public opinion that will tell you that whatever you’ve decided is inherently wrong.

Slate.com decided to take the helm with a piece by Allison Benedikt called “If You Send Your Kid to Private School, You Are a Bad Person.” We’re not even into the article and the judgements are flying. Clearly we’re off to a great start. But at least Benedikt acknowledges it:

“I’m just judgmental. But it seems to me that if every single parent sent every single child to public school, public schools would improve.”

I am a former public high school social studies teacher. I am a product and proponent of the public school system, and do my best to support to support local public schools (especially when it comes to music and arts programs) whenever possible. I also send my son to a local private elementary school. And I totally understand Benedikt’s line of thinking.

Keep reading »

Mommie Dearest: The Real “Mommy Wars” Are Against Mothers, Not Between Them

Feminist & SAHM?
housewife
Breaking news: you can be a feminist and a stay-at-home-mom. Read More »
Breastfeeding on Time
TIME magazine breastfeeding cover photo
Time magazine's breastfeeding cover is just a tad provocative. Read More »
Stay At Home Dads
father with baby bjorn
Do they really parent that differently from stay-at-home moms? Read More »
mommie wars

One of the worst terms surrounding motherhood is “the Mommy Wars.” To be fair, “Mommy Porn” is a really close second (thanks, 50 Shades of Grey!), but when it comes down to it, my disdain for the Mommy Wars knows no bounds. Not only are these “wars” sexist-as-all-get-out — I mean, have you ever heard of the “Daddy Wars”? — but they’re also steeped in a hell of a lot of privilege, something that is rarely acknowledged in all the news stories, magazine covers, and internet blurbs that love to trot out the term. Keep reading »

Taylor Swift Says She Doesn’t Like “Wearing The Pants” In Relationships, Gets Trashed By Blog

Taylor Not A Feminist
Taylor Swift appears on 'Good Morning America', NYC
Taylor Swift doesn't consider herself to be a feminist. Read More »
Traditional Men
I'm a feminist, but I want to date a more traditional dude. Read More »
Giada As A Wife
Giada says she's a traditional wife, despite her high-powered career. Read More »
Frisky Feminism!
Everything The Frisky has ever written about feminism! Read More »
taylor swift in harpers bazaar

“Whether it’s a summertime dress that makes me feel carefree, an evening cocktail dress that makes me feel fancy, or a vintage dress that makes me feel like a ’50s housewife—which I enjoy feeling like, for some reason—I just really like dresses. …

If I feel too much like I’m wearing the pants, I start to feel uncomfortable and then we break up. … [I]t’s wonderful to hand over the reins to your boyfriend when you control so much of these big, high-pressure decisions, you know? That is a huge defining factor in who you choose to be with. Some combinations of people are toxic, you know? You have to find the right one that isn’t just going to explode into fiery ash and destruction.”

This is Taylor Swift in Harper’s Bazaar magazine, first talking about her love of dresses, and elsewhere in the interview talking about what she wants from a relationship. Tay-Tay is someone I’ve criticized in the past because she seemingly doesn’t understand feminism whilst declaring herself not a feminist. Fine, don’t be a feminist, but at least understand what it actually is that you’re disagreeing with. So I found myself nodding my head in agreement when I read these quotes above that she gave to Harper’s about what kind of dudes she likes to be with in a relationship. I nodded my head because hey, Taylor Swift, I am the exact same way.

So I was somewhat dismayed to see Taylor getting trashed for these quotes on the blog Mommyish. Keep reading »

Hot Links: Beyonce’s Bottle-Feeding Brouhaha

  • Beyonce is getting flack for bottle-feeding Blue Ivy after she posted this photo to her Tumblr. [The Stir]
  • Soon the Clintons could be Grandpa Bill and Grandma Hillary! Chelsea Clinton says she’s hoping to start a family “soon.” [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
  • Eek, here’s the douchiest breakup text we’ve seen this week. [TruTV] Keep reading »

The Soapbox: I Want A Ceasefire On The Mommy Wars

Breastfeeding on Time
TIME magazine breastfeeding cover photo
Time magazine's breastfeeding cover is just a tad provocative. Read More »
On Attachment Parenting
One woman's opinion about attachment parenting. Read More »
Lesbian Mom
lesbian moms photo
One woman talks about being a lesbian mom. Read More »
What Is "Kiss Feeding"?
Alicia Silverstone chews her son's food and spits it in his mouth. Read More »

Here it is. The latest in the “mommy wars.”

Because everything is a war these days, it seems. Yesterday, we were talking about the “war on obesity.” I even heard that Obama declared “war on marriage.” So “war” means “having a different opinion.” Or possibly “wanting equal rights.” In a moment, it might mean, “Hey, what you lookin’ at? You got a problem?”

But I want to talk about the so-called “mommy wars.” The cycle of articles and news reports and TV interviews and books that argue for the one good way to raise kids, and explain why every other idea is not only terrible, but it will definitely destroy your children’s future.

The mommy wars keep going, and going, and then they’re still going, because they are at their heart about two things that almost everyone cares about intensely: What it means to be a woman, and what is good for children. Keep reading »

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