Tag Archives: modern love

The Most Common Relationship Issues According To The Editor Of The New York Times’ “Modern Love”

Relationship-Issues-Modern-Love

“There are broad subjects with a lot of areas to explore, but what I continually get is stories about Facebook during midlife marriage stress. People in their thirties, forties, fifties, experiencing a lack of passion, claustrophobia, kids taking all your attention, and the kind of fantasizing that Facebook brings out in them.”

Daniel Jones, editor of The New York Times column “Modern Love,” on the most common relationship stories he receives. If you’re experiencing any of the above, take comfort, but don’t write an essay about it and pitch it to “Modern Love.” Think more along the lines of “What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage,” one woman’s essay about using exotic-animal-training techniques to train her husband. It was the most emailed “Modern Love” column of all time and was turned into a book. [NYmag.com]

Modern Love Tackles One Woman’s Spanking Fetish

First Time: Spanking Party
spanking photo
This is what happens at a spanking party. Read More »
Tales Of A Kinky Feminist
bdsm
You can be a kinky feminist and flawed human being. Read More »
Dominant Sex
I just want to be dominated in bed! Read More »
woman spanking

The New York Times Style section usually emits more groans from me than cheers. Remember that piece about how bangs are “in”? And how women wear dresses? So I was ecstatic this week to see the Modern Love essay is by Jillian Keenan, a woman with a spanking fetish who is struggling to come out about it to her boyfriend. The essay touched on the struggles female spankos face from a judgmental and/or misunderstanding public, namely that we all must have suffered sexual abuse (not true) or must be gravely damaged in some way (also not true). And I was particularly delighted that 50 Shades Of Grey got only a brief mention. Keep reading »

The Dangers Of Dating Someone You Feel “Meh” About

Be A Better Dater
Why having a plan is so, so important. Read More »
Dating Red Flags
guys
These red flags should send you running. Read More »
Dating Victim
I am not a dating victim -- and neither are you. Read More »

You know when your friend gets a boyfriend, and for whatever reason, you know it’s not a good idea and that it’s not going to work out? And you say “I dunno, I feel like it’s not a good idea, and that it’s not going to work out…” But your friend is stubborn, so obviously they go on dating the person anyway, despite all the signs that they shouldn’t, and then they have a fraught and complicated relationship that doesn’t even last that long, and after the inevitable break-up, you, the loyal friend, are forced to deal with sometimes years of emotional aftermath?

…reading this week’s Modern Love column in The New York Times was sort of like that. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Do I Really Need To Know Why He Dumped Me?

No Ghosting
Thou shalt not ghost your love interests. Read More »
The Ex Run-In
Ami shares thoughts on ex run-ins. Read More »
Getting Closure
8 Ways To Get Closure
8 ways to get closure in a relationship. Read More »

I probably could have written the Modern Love essay, Exit Left, Wordlessly, in this past Sunday’s New York Times. Not that I could have penned it better than writer Aimee Lee Ball, just that I have a story which is frighteningly similar. Ball’s tale is about breaking up with a man only to have him resurface eight years later for round two. But instead of the happy ending that would ensue in Rom-Com Land, after a few months of “too good to be true” dating, the man disappeared from her life without explanation. “No message. No note,” she says. I refer to this dating phenomenon as ghosting — when a man disappears without a trace.

“Ambiguous loss” as Ball calls it, is a particularly heinous and cruel way to have a relationship end because you’re left without any indication of what might have gone wrong.”[It's] unfinished business, without closure or understanding,” Ball explains. Keep reading »

Would You Date Someone With A Terminal Illness?

What if you found out the man (or woman) of your dreams was dying of an incurable illness? Would you stay, or would you go? This weekend the New York Times Modern Love column brought to light a real-life dilemma for thousands of people: What happens when it turns out the love of your life has a terminal illness? Written by writer Kerri Sandburg, “On the Precipice, Wings Spread” follows the author’s 18-year relationship with an HIV-positive man.
Keep reading »

“Modern Love Revenge” Proves There Are Always Two Sides To Every Story

If you’re like me, the first thing you do every Sunday morning is check the “Modern Love” column in the New York Times—a collection of first person essays about love of all varieties. Usually, I am wrapped up in the storyline, scrolling down the page, sipping my coffee, eager to find out how the saga ends, but every once in a while, I wonder what the other characters in the piece must be feeling as they read it—mothers, daughters, ex-lovers, and friends. Well, that’s what some writers over at Double X were wondering too. So they decided to start a genius column called “Modern Love Revenge” where they provide the subjects of “Modern Love” essays the chance to post their responses, rebuttals, and reflections — basically, to tell the other side of the story. I was especially interested in this response from Joyce Maynard’s daughter, Audrey Bethel. Keep reading »

Could You Ever Get Past Hearing “I Don’t Love You Anymore?”

One of the big bombshells my ex dropped the day he decided he needed a break was, “I don’t know that we’re in love anymore.” I didn’t buy it. I was in love and I was certain he was too. He was confused, he needed space, and I was going to give it to him, despite the fact that for many, his words would have been the final nail in the coffin. So I was fascinated to read Laura Munson’s “Modern Love” column in Sunday’s New York Times about her refusal to fight with her husband when he declared he no longer loved her. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Why EChem is Just Not Enough

I heart words and communication. This includes emails, text messages, Gchat, Blackberry Messenger, iChat — the works. I am a sucker for a well-crafted email or a witty text message. My motto: The way to my heart is through my brain. That’s why I thought Joe could be Mr. Perfect for me. Joe and I met one night at a work gala. I had already put away an entire bottle of wine when I almost knocked him over on the dance floor.

“Do you like to dance, beautiful girl who almost stepped on my foot?” he asked.

“Only when I’m drunk. When I’m sober, I dance like Elaine from ‘Seinfeld.’” I replied.

It was a rainy October night and Joe offered to escort me to the subway when the event ended, impressed that I could: a.) still walk and b.) do it in 3-inch heels. “Email me,” I slurred, handing him my business card, “I loooove emails.”
Keep reading »

Modern Love, From Newspaper Column To TV Show

The New York TimesModern Love column is something many simply adore — and others love to hate. Each week, readers learn intimate details about someone else’s relationship, and sometimes learn lessons about human nature, relationships, and love. The column has helped several writers launch their careers by way of book deals; now it may help The New York Times‘ wallet. Former “Sex and the City” writer Jenny Bicks is working on a pilot script for a TV show based on Modern Love — not a specific column, the whole shebang.

The show will revolve around a fictionalized male editor’s life, which includes a messy divorce, a rocky relationship with a teenage daughter, and a reentry into the dating scene. Stories and people from the newspaper column will be woven into the show’s storylines. Even though BermanBraun optioned the rights to the column from The Times last year, Bicks isn’t sure whether she’ll be able to set the series at the paper, or if it will become a fictional news organization.

Meanwhile, the real editor of Modern Love, Daniel Jones, lives in Massachusetts with his family. No word on how he feels about having his life made into a TV show. [Variety] Keep reading »

Love 101: When An Angelina Arrives

Every woman I know can share some anecdote regarding that gorgeous female “friend” her boyfriend annoyingly adores. It’s just inevitable. The minute you settle down with the Brad of your dreams, some Angelina shows up like a bee to your honey. Occasionally, she really is “just a friend,” but when her feelings run deeper, well, a woman just knows, and I think we can all agree it puts you in a somewhat awkward—make that insanely frustrating—position.
Keep reading »

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