OK, most of the webiverse will want to kill me for admitting this ... but I just don’t get the “Twilight” obsession. I read the first book just to see what the hullabaloo was about and thought it was thoroughly “eh.” I’m not interested in reading the others, or following K-Stew and R-Patz’s are-they-or-aren’t-they drama, or lining up for a midnight showing of “New Moon” tomorrow night. And Miley Cyrus may be the only celeb on the planet who feels the same way as I do! In a recent interview with a Cleveland radio station, Miley said of the “Twilight” films, “I’ve never seen [them] and nor will I ever. I don’t believe in it. I don’t like vampires. I don’t like the wolf that pops out of the screen when I’m watching my TV at night. I don’t want anything to do with it.” I hear ya sister! [PopEater]

That said, I know that many of you out there are Twihards. And most celebs are with you—they will be there opening night ... with fangs on. After the jump, the stars who can’t wait for “New Moon.”

Miley Cyrus did another stupid teenager thing—she altered the lyrics in her song “7 Things” on the fly at her recent Louisville concert. She changed “you’re vain/you’re games” to “you’re vain/you’re gay.” She’s probably not a gay-bashing, homosexual agenda-fearing lady (she’s actually come out in support of gay marriage), like one Miss America Pageant runner-up we know, but it wasn’t a stellar moment either. She better watch out, or she’ll influence an entire generation of girls to use gay in the pejorative sense.

Wal-Mart is having a serious fashion moment. They are selling the iconic Norma Kamali sleeping bag coat for a total steal ($35), and now preview images of Miley Cyrus’ new spring line have leaked. Of course, we would normally yawn about the latter if it weren’t for the fact that the questionably styled teenage singer worked with fashion expert Max Azria to create an entire spring collection for under $20—yes under twenty dollars—that actually looks kind of wearable. BCBG it ain’t, but this cute dress and tops bearing the kind of ruffles and prints that we can totally see as Max’s influence look good so far. We’ll have to wait until February to see more but in the meantime, we’ll be on the lookout for more deals. Um, is Wal-Mart the new Target or something? [Lucky]

The tween readers of AOL’s JSYK.com (for you people above the age of 15, that’s “Just So You Know”) have voted Miley Cyrus the worst celebrity influence of 2009. Why? Because of that pole-dancing stunt at the Teen Choice Awards? Or because of her reckless endangerment of Fuzzy? After the jump, let’s look at a list of celebrities who we think deserve the title for worst influence WAY more than Miley. [Yahoo]

What is it about Miley Cyrus that attracts the hardcore looney toons? One fan is so upset about Miley shutting down her Twitter account that she is threatening to kill her cat Fuzzy, cook him, and eat him if Milz doesn’t reopen the account by Nov. 16. While I can’t seem to actually find said website (here’s hoping this is a hoax?), here’s what many blogs are quoting this girl as saying.

“Let me clarify: This is NOT a prank or a hoax. I am not joking, even if some will choose to interpret it that way. Cooking a cat is not illegal in my country, in fact it’s part of our culture. I’m not asking for money or any other benefit. Fuzzy is my cat and I will not entertain any offers of selling or giving him away. If Miley doesn’t tweet again, this WILL happen, and I’m as serious as a heart attack ... Fuzzy’s life is hanging by a thread and will end if I do not achieve my goal. Ultimately, Miley is the only one who has the power to save Fuzzy.” [oceanUP.com]

Doesn’t this chick know Miley is more into dogs?

When Miley Cyrus shut down her Twitter account last week, most peeps (ourselves included) assumed it was because her new dude told her to. But in the video above, Miley refutes that, saying that she nixed her account because she was sick of documenting the minutest minutiae of her life. She definitely has a point but, uh, did she really have to make this faux rap video complete with her friends as backup dancers? This is more embarrassing than her pole dance, in my opinion.

Here’s the randomest cameo ever: Larry David showed up on “Hannah Montana” and made the show, like, a zillion times better. Unlike on “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” he actually doesn’t look like the most ridiculous person in the room. That award goes to Hannah’s pink-haired friend who looks like a Lady Gaga impersonator. Watch the clip for Larry, though.

Tori Spelling has been in and out of the hospital all week, complaining of severe abdominal pain. Apparently, seeking treatment has brought no relief, or even a conclusive diagnosis. I know this because her husband, Dean McDermott, has been keeping me posted 140 alphanumeric characters at a time. Tweeting about going to the hospital seems a surprising way to handle stress when a loved one is ill—at first. When I went back further into Dean’s twitter history I noticed he’d had an unspeakably unpleasant flu virus earlier this month. I noticed because he squawked, I mean tweeted, about his own discomfort more than he tweeted about Tori’s. To be fair, several tweets were concern for the health of his family, as he started his own recovery. There was something familiar, though, about the progression of these sick celebrity tweets. Has it become a celebrity trend to tweet health updates to concerned fans? After the jump, five more cases of celebrities tweeting their sickness.

At her show last night, Miley took the G from her rating and made it gangsta, straight up. Wearing booty shorts and backin’ it up doggy-style, she might as well be on the cover of a rap album, circa 1993. Well, we’re not sure about the audience, but at least she came to get down. [Anaheim, 9/23/09]

In this sort of long and boring (well, depending on your taste) video, Miley Cyrus and her friend Mandy Jiroux go through her closet, creating a mountain of clothes she doesn’t want anymore. In it, she remembers the shirt she wore the first time she met Johnny Depp and gives Mandy a reject wallet. And her closet? It’s huge and filled to the brim. But her dressing room isn’t the craziest in Hollywood. After the jump, six more notable celebrity closets and videos of each, plus our oh-so-insightful observations about each one. [via NY Mag]

We knew Miley Cyrus’ brief pole dance at the Teen Choice Awards was going to spark a debate and, lo and behold, it has. Parent advocacy groups are up in arms, and blogs are crowing: “Miley Cyrus Does Her Part For the Pornification Of America.” In Newsday, child psychologist Wendi Fischer opined, “She’s sending the message that this is ‘OK’ to do, and I don’t think it is OK to do.” [Newsday]

Ladies and gentlemen, we gather here today to remember our dear friend pole dancing.

Beloved by frat boys, horny old men, and starlets in desperate need of attention, pole dancing may have enjoyed decades more of life had not Miley Cyrus pole-danced at the Teen Choice Awards last night.

Good thing we didn’t expect much. Pop star Miley Cyrus teamed up with Max Azria—designed for BCBG, Herve Leger, and Max Azria—to design a line for Walmart and the results are epically mall worthy. Shrunken vests? Check! Tie dye tanks? Obvi! Hipster plaid? Got it! Basically, the line is completely inoffensive but totally snoozeworthy. If I were on a long drive and happened to pass by a Walmart and wanted to stop to pick up some cheese doodles and a sixer of Diet Coke, I would totally peruse the racks and maybe buy one of these tank tops to wear on the beach. But that’s about it. [Walmart]

VH1 is bringing back its “VH1 Divas” concert series Sept. 17 after a four-year hiatus. But don’t get too excited yet. Some idiot over at the network thinks Miley Cyrus, Leona Lewis, Kelly Clarkson, and Adele should join the ranks of Mary J. Blige, Cher, Aretha Franklin, and Celine Dion, who have all been honored on the broadcast concert before. These four young singers, however, are not divas—they’re not even on their way to becoming divas!

A few months after appearing on the cover of her first “woman’s” magazine, Glamour, and a year after her controversial photo shoot for Vanity Fair, country singer and pop star, Miley Cyrus, has gone high-fashion for Elle. It seems clear that Miley is trying to prove she’s all grown up, as she’s showing a bit of cleavage on the cover, and rockin’ thigh high leather boots on the inside, where she’s stretched across a table with a hand in her hair. See that pic, after the jump…

• Detectives have ruled Steve McNair’s death a homicide, but they haven’t classified the death of his companion Sahel Kazemi. [TMZ]—Being “riddled with bullets” sounds like a rather painful way to die.
• Sam Ronson helped Lindsay Lohan celebrate her birthday last week. [Dlisted]
• Josh Duhamel has reportedly been using a stripper pole he and wife Fergie received as a wedding gift because his bride refused to use the device. [IMDB]—Surprising!

Miley Cyrus (and other celebs for that matter) can’t seem to learn that they shouldn’t be taking suggestive photos, because they will find their way onto the internet.

• Joe Jonas slips up and reveals that his brother Nick and Miley Cyrus are dating (gag), during an interview with Larry King. [PopEater] —The awkwardness that ensues is almost too much to take (watch the video to get the full effect.)
• Ryan Reynolds is a fine actor, but even more impressive are his style skills. The man is lookin’ suave. [Asylum]—To all the men out there, this is how you should dress.