“It’s a nice d**k. Well proportioned. Handsome. I have nothing but good things to say about Jason Segel’s penis.”
Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
“Jersey Shore” is over for the season. Sad! But long live “Jersey Shore” spoofs! I never noticed this before, but Nick Lachey done up in some hair gel is a dead ringer for Ronnie. And if you squint (and I mean really squint), Mila Kunis can pull off a passable Snooki. Really, Snooki should just do all Snooki performances herself. Keep reading »
I laughed so hard I cried this weekend, courtesy of “The Hangover.” (Did you see it? It was the blood brothers scene. OMG, so funny.) Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms and Bradley Cooper are so hilarious as three friends who lose the groom-to-be during a wild bachelor party in Vegas.
Worth the $12 ticket, sure, but now I want to see a before-the-wedding “buddy flick” with women.
Yeah, we’re less likely to kidnap Mike Tyson’s pet tiger. (Yeah, that’s actually a plot point of “The Hangover.”) But it doesn’t mean we don’t party hard when one of our girls is getting hitched. Hollywood has a history of doing movies where brides-to-be and their friends look like bridezillas and obsessive wackjobs. But we’re real women. And we’re not all real crazy! And we want a movie about the female version of the wild bachelor/ette party antics.
I’ve made it easy on you, Hollywood: I’ve outlined my entire dream movie—director, plot, cast, soundtrack—for you, after the jump:
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“Twilight” director Catherine Hardwick has a new angst-ridden project in the works: a remake of Shakespeare’s “Hamlet.” Emile Hirsch is the tasty choice picked to play the passionate Prince. We can’t wait to see him strut and fret in ye old tight pants. While we’d happily watch the grass grow if irresistible Emile were lying in it, it’s a total bonus that this just happens to be one of our favorite sub genres—a twisted teen take on a Shakesperean classic. Since there’s nothing like a hunk who wants to school us in the ways of love, here are other modern blockbusters that have helped us avoid actually reading Shakespeare.
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Picture for a moment, if you will, the opening sequence of a film. A romantic comedy. Close, on the female lead, she stands in her apartment a puzzled look on her face – darn it! She wants love! Dating is hilarious! Sex is hilarious! People chase other people through airports and make embarrassing speeches at corporate functions all in the name of L-O-V-E. This female lead is unemployed. She is a slacker. She’s uncertain what she wants to do with her life, but she is certain that she’s ten to fifteen pounds overweight. She engages in recreational drug use, sometimes even drinking bong water. She fears change and cries at the drop of a hat. But boy is she lovable!