In his memoir, Undisputed Truth, Mike Tyson revealed that he used a fake penis with someone else’s clean urine to pass drug tests. Chelsea Handler, being Chelsea Handler, wanted to know all the details. Here’s Tyson explaining how he used a fake dick connected to a jock strap to hide his drug use, which apparently was not very difficult because the drug tester usually doesn’t stare at your junk while you submit your sample. Also, it can’t be used like a dildo. Well. That is more than I wanted to know about the penis of a convicted rapist. Er, fake penis. [YouTube.com/ChelseaLately]
You guys, I love “Law & Order: SVU” and want to marry it. Maybe it’s (definitely) Stockholm Syndrome, because it’s on 43 times a day on basic cable, but I cannot get enough of Stabler, Benson, and the irony that Ice-T is now playing a cop. Like, I dream about one day getting to the magical “L&O: SVU” set, maybe playing a dead body, maybe bumping into Richard Belzer at craft services and trading pictures of our appliances. It’s just like my perverse fascination with Lifetime movies where women are always getting murdered or unwittingly married to serial killer cops played by Rob Lowe.
So that’s why I am all up on the “SVU” beat, and can inform you that Mike Tyson will be appearing in a future episode this season. And dun-dun-dun, he’ll be playing a convicted murder with the following cookie-cutter fabricated backstory… Keep reading »
Heidi Fleiss has a new love in her life. Make that ‘loves,’ as there are more than 20 of them. Almost 18 years after going to jail for three years for running a prostitution ring, Heidi has started a new kind of harem—a legal one. In recent years (in addition to opening a laundromat, a doggie day care, and going on “Celebrity Rehab“), she has taken to raising macaw parrots. She got the birds from an eccentric neighbor who passed, leaving behind hundreds of exotic birds in a trailer. Heidi explains that she decided to adopt the parrots because thy are “the pimpin’ birds.” She says, “It’s been a crazy way to reinvent myself, but I love these birds and I will be successful.” Whatever that means.
This whole thing is giving me a case of deja vu. Didn’t Animal Planet do the exact same show, essentially, with Mike Tyson and his pigeons? Keep reading »
“The Hangover 2” opens this weekend, and apparently there is someone besides Mel Gibson who will not be eagerly waiting in line with a bucket of popcorn to get a good seat. In the movie, Ed Helms wakes up in a bathtub and discovers that he has a poorly done tribal tattoo on his face. The joke, of course, is that Mike Tyson—who makes a cameo in the original movie and its sequel—has a much better version of the same tattoo. However, Tyson’s tattoo artist, S. Victor Whitmill, is not amused. In fact, he is suing Warner Brothers for copyright infringement. Keep reading »