“This is my midlife crisis, the bangs. I couldn’t get a sports car. They won’t let me bungee-jump. So instead, I cut my bangs.”
–Michelle Obama has a “Stars: they’re just like us!” moment on “The Rachael Ray Show,” revealing that, like millions of women before her, she decided to cut her bangs on her 49th birthday, in the midst of a midlife crisis. Her sassy new do appears in her latest official White House portrait, shown above. As someone who has made some really terrible hair decisions as a result of various existential crises (I once got an impulse pixie cut at a salon called “The Hack And Wack”), I applaud her restraint, and I think she looks great. [People]
Anyone who thinks that women are the needy gender when it comes to Valentine’s Day was not up in my inbox on this particular Hallmark holiday.
Without fail I receive three phone calls on the special day, whether or not I am in a relationship. One call comes from my mother — who, like Viola Davis bolstering the egos of pudgy babies in “The Help” —reminds me that I am smart, pretty and have an OK job.
One of my girlfriends inevitably calls to wail about her douche boyfriend/lack of a douche boyfriend.
And without fail, at least one ex-boyfriend will leave a voicemail just saying, “Hey.” Keep reading »
According to research done by a UK department store Debenhams (so, not biased at all), men between the ages of 55 and 59 actually prefer to wear banana hammocks instead of longer, less offensive trunks. Why? Well, they didn’t go so far as to draw an actual conclusion. But I have a guess! During the period traditionally known as “the midlife crisis” (see exhibit A above: Hulk Hogan in the middle of his), men feel the need to show off the “goods” to prove to themselves that [young] women still want to sleep with them and that they are still capable of rising to the occasion.That, or they are European or don’t realize that speedos (especially in neon shades) kill vaginas of all ages. For the more modest man, this same effect may be accomplished by purchasing a flashy sports car. Either way, I think it’s safe to say that speedo sales are down this quarter at Debenhams. [Telegraph] Keep reading »