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Anatomy Of An Amazing News Story: Michael Lohan Checks Tanning Mom Into Rehab

anatomy of an amazing news story

Every once in awhile a story so strange, so bizarre or so WTF comes along that it leaves us no choice but break it down into its most essential parts and try to make sense of it all.

We knew Tanning Mom might have a drinking problem when she had a drunken spill and flashed her panties on the red carpet at NYC’s XL Hot Mess Drag Review. We were hoping that once she got tan sober that she would also cut back on the booze. No such luck on either front. Last week, Patty Kretcil hit rock bottom when she was pronounced too drunk to fly at a Minneapolis airport and placed in detox.

Days later, a report confirmed that Tanning Mom checked into rehab at Lukens Institute in Palm Beach, Florida, with Michael Lohan at her side. Uh, wait. What does Michael Lohan have to do with this? Well, aside from his own experience with rehab — both his own and his daughter’s, it turns out that Tanning Mom and Papa Lohan are old friends from Cold Spring Harbor High School in Long Island. I don’t even want to know what their superlatives were. [TMZ]

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