Tag Archives: michael fassbender

Charlize Theron Wants A Piece Of The Legendary Fass-Dong

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Micheal Fassbender says his penis is no big deal. We beg to disagree. Read More »
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“I have to say that I was truly impressed that [Michael Fassbender] chose to play it big. Most other actors would have gone small, trust me. No, I know because I’ve worked with them. Your penis was a revelation. I’m available to work with it any time.”

– Charlize Theron accepted a Human Rights Campaign award from Michael Fassbender on Saturday night and as is common courtesy, used the opportunity to praise the size of his cock. I hope she wasn’t referring to adorable little Patton Oswalt here. [E! Online]

Michael Fassbender Snubbed For “Shame” Oscar Nomination Because America “Too Scared Of Sex”

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“In America they’re too scared of sex, that’s why he wasn’t nominated. If you look at the best actor list you’re saying, ‘Michael Fassbender is not on that list?’ It’s kind of crazy. But that’s how it is, it’s an American award, let them have it.”

– “Shame” director Steve McQueen on why his star, Michael Fassbender, was snubbed for an Oscar nomination for Best Actor. It’s so true, which is a sad, frustrating commentary on America’s aversion to honest depictions of sex on film. Might I remind you how “Blue Valentine” was initially rated NC-17 because it showed Ryan Gosling going down on Michelle Williams, but “Black Swan” had an R-rating even though it had a Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis sex scene? The thing is, “Shame” isn’t about “SEXY SEXYTIMES,” although, yes, there is a lot of sex in it. The film is actually about how addiction feeds on people trying to feel a gaping, painful hole in their spirit with something else. You know, like, a topic everybody can relate to?  

So, in conclusion, screw you, Oscars. [Press Association]

Evening Quickies: Behold, Michael Fassbender’s Naked Butt

Morning Quickies
Amy Winehouse tribute at John Paul Gaultier show
Amy Winehouse's family is upset at designer John Paul Gaultier. Read More »
Fassbender Penis
michael fassbender
Micheal Fassbender says his penis is no big deal. We beg to disagree. Read More »
"Shame" Trailer
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Watch the trailer for Michael Fassbender's new movie, "Shame." Watch »
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  • Michael Fassbender’s been sharing his naked tush with the world since he was 25 and he filmed this commercial for the European airline SAS. You’re welcome! [Queerty]
  • Oprah is denying she is Blue Ivy Carter’s godmother. Whatever, that kid is going to get baller gifts from her anyway. [Mommyish]
  • Fran Drescher says she was visited by aliens who implanted a chip in her brain … and she doesn’t appear to be joking. [StarPulse]
  • The city of Houston may erect a monument to honor Beyoncé. Don’t get any ideas, Kanye. [Essence]
    Keep reading »

Michael Fassbender Doesn’t Understand All The Fuss Over His Penis

"Shame" Trailer
Michael Fassbender photo
Watch the trailer for Michael Fassbender's new movie, "Shame." Watch »
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“Half of us have a penis and the other half have probably seen one, and so why should it be more normal to, like, chop people’s heads off and shoot people? Does that mean that that’s more acceptable or closer to us as human beings?”

Michael Fassbender on the NC-17 rating of his new film “Shame,” which features a full-frontal view of his junk. He makes a good point, but that will not stop most of the human population from making a fuss over his naked penis. It’s our prerogative. Dammit, he’s sexy. [Dlisted]

Keira Knightley Wouldn’t Let Michael Fassbender Spank Her

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There is a first time for everything! Read More »
Kinky, But Not Easy
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Jessica is kinky but still demands respect. Read More »
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A woman tries rough sex for the first time. Read More »
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Doin' It With Dr. V explains how to spank and be spanked! Read More »
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“I actually said to him before we shot the spanking scenes, ‘If you touch me I will kill you’ and he did remind me that I was tied to a bed at the time and really I shouldn’t be making any threats. … [those scenes] weren’t particularly easy.” 

 — Keira Knightley, idiot girl, didn’t want to be spanked by my boyfriend Michael Fassbender during their sex scenes for “A Dangerous Method.” It turns out that the spanking scenes in the movie — in which Fassbender plays Carl Jung and Knightley plays a client of his with a BDSM fetish — are totally faked.  Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot girl. I would have happily been your sexy stunt double! [Mirror UK]

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Sexy Michael Fassbender’s Sexed-Up “Shame” Trailer About Sex Addiction

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I would watch two hours of Michael Fassbender reading his grocery list, so his new sex addiction drama, “Shame,” is high up on the list of things I’m willing to pay $12 for. Let me spell this out for you: Michael Fassbender and sex. Michael Fassbender and sex. I’ll be seeing “Shame.” Will you? [Guardian UK] Keep reading »

Don’t Err And Miss “Jane Eyre”

Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre is one of those stories that gets me every time. So it makes me a little sad that anyone could have missed the Cary Joji Fukunaga’s awesome version of the tale that came out earlier this year. Not so into the classics? Well, I’ll try to woo you on more pop culture terms. It stars Mia Wasikowska—who you remember as Tim Burton’s Alice and the sister from “The Kids Are All Right”—and Michael Fassender, aka Magneto in “X-Men: First Class.” It’s beautifully shot, and almost makes the barren landscape into a character in the story. Really good stuff.

[$16.99 Amazon]

Celebrity Conspiracy Theory: I Know Who January Jones’ Baby Daddy Is!

Hollywood these days is all about positioning and spin, and—what can we say?— it’s made us more than a little jaded. In this new column, we will share some of our most out-there theories about what’s really going on in the celeb-u-verse. Now, keep in mind that none of this is based on fact or even on the testimony of anonymous sources. They are purely hunches, and we could be totally and completely wrong. That said, we would not be super surprised if, some day, it came out that a few of our theories were right.

Ever since January Jones announced her pregnancy in late-April, without naming the child’s father, the internet and gossip rags have been in a tizzy trying to figure out whose seed implanted itself in her fertile womb. No worries, Us Weekly, Perez Hilton, et. al., I’ve got it figured out. Keep reading »

There Were Lots Of Horse Boners On The Set Of “Jane Eyre”

“There was a horse on the third day of filming [when] we were shooting the scene where Jane and Rochester meet, and every time Michael [Fassbender] hopped on the horse it got a huge erection. And he’d get off and they’d run the poor thing around the block to try to make it go away, and he’d hop on it again and it would happen all over again, and they’d have to get him off and run it around.”

—”Jane Eyre” star Mia Wasikowska explains how her co-star Michael Fassbender had an amazing talent for unwittingly giving horses boners. All of the sudden, Charlotte Bronte sounds so cutting edge. [Huffington Post] Keep reading »