Michael Fassbender and Charlize Theron are both undeniably gorgeous human beings and outstanding performers, so naturally I’m a fan regardless of how they play it. The “Prometheus” co-stars landed the August cover of W Magazine, and while there is basically no photograph in the world that could make these two look bad, I can’t help but feel like something is a little off. Fassy just looks so worried, and Charlize’s head is at a weird angle, and there are so many arms and hands and elbows involved that it all comes off as being awkward to me. Am I imagining things? Do you think this cover photo does the spectacular actors justice, or is it not quite what you expected? Also, for what it’s worth, if it is worth anything at all: they are both wearing lambskin.
Before things get awkward here, I feel the need to make a disclaimer that talk of Michael Fassbender’s penis (or him in general) does not come without an acknowledgement of the horrific domestic violence charges that were brought against him by an ex-girlfriend and later dropped. I take these charges seriously and they indeed color my view of Mr. Fassbender. You may read more about the details here.
That being said: I am here to talk about amateur drawings of his penis. I saw Michael Fassbender’s dong (heretofore referred to as Fassdong) ever so briefly in “Shame.” Although I didn’t commit Fassdong to memory, I just remember it was very large. So large, that my friend who I saw the movie with and I still discuss it occasionally. Some seem to believe that Ridley Scott’s latest film, “Prometheus,” used the legend of the Fassdong to distract people from the fact that the film sucked. I haven’t seen it yet, so I’m in no position to weigh in. Vice Magazine, wondering how many people would see a movie solely for the fame of its lead penis, challenged audience members at the London premiere of the film to draw their own version of Fassdong. Click through to see some of the NSFW results.
“Now that [the ping pong table] here, it’s not going. This table has been the best contribution for fun I’ve had in a long time. This table has seen some action … [laughs] That sounds wrong. … Just the paddles. … [laughs] Paddles. And balls.”
– The ironic part of this GQ interview with Michael Fassbender is that it’s all about reconciling his desire for a “serious” career with the gleeful praise he receives overtly sexual roles in movies like “Shame,” “Fish Tank,” and “A Dangerous Method.” And then, of course, the innuendo starts. Be still, my heart. [GQ]
Our love of Michael Fassbender is well-documented but even we were surprised to see that he’s such a damn good editorial model. The Irish actor boasts a feature in the May issue of Vogue, starring alongside serious supermodel Natalia Vodianova in a series of stunningly gorgeous Jazz Age-inspired photographs shot by the legendary Craig McDean, and take my word for it: Fass is a natural, evoking a striking utilitarian sensibility while also giving a nod to the nouvelle vague. I’m never all that impressed by screen stars modeling with high-fashion faces, but these photos are beyond — check them out after the jump. [Vogue] Keep reading »
Keira Knightly believes that English people are obsessed with spanking and she is no exception. Keira played Sabina Spielrein who has a relationship with her therapist Carl Jung in “A Dangerous Method” and in one scene she had to be spanked on her butt by her co-star Michael Fassbender, who portrayed Jung.
Keira claims she was barely asked about the erotic scenes when promoting the film – which also stars Viggo Mortensen as Sigmund Freud – in any country other than her British homeland, which has led her to deduce her countrymen are fetishists. Keira admitted that she and Michael only got through the spanking scenes by turning to booze. Read more…
It’s no secret that we’re big fans around here of Michael Fassbender’s smoking hot body and drool-worthy mug. But it has come to our attention from commenters, both on past posts about Fassbender and on a slideshow we did yesterday in honor of his 35th birthday, that all is not roses in Fassyland. According to a March 2010 blog post on TMZ, an ex-girlfriend accused Michael Fassbender of being violent towards her and filed a petition for a restraining order against him. Keep reading »
It’s been a busy couple of years for Michael Fassbender (and his penis). I’m not one to harbor a hardcore celebrity crush, but ever since Fassy took on the role of Carl Jung (with whom I’m obsessed) in “A Dangerous Method,” I was intrigued. And then I saw “Shame,” and I was blown away by his many gifts and talents. I’m talking about his chilling portrayal of Brandon, not his full-frontal nude scene. Although, he was riveting naked. Being that today is his 35th birthday, I felt totally justified in putting together a gratuitous slideshow of sexy pictures of him, along with a list of reasons that justify my crush. Starting with:
1. This is what he looks like wearing nothing but bed sheets.
Click on for 34 more reasons Fassy is a God.
We still feel that Michael Fassbender and his penis were robbed of an Oscar nom for their work in “Shame.” I mean, come on, their performances were unprecedented! Even Charlize Theron agrees. “Your penis was a revelation. I’m available to work with it any time,” she joked at a recent Human Rights Campaign gala. “I have to say that I was truly impressed that you chose to play it big … Most other actors would have gone small, trust me. I know because I’ve worked with them,” Theron went on. Since its full frontal appearance in the film, Fassbender’s member has gained notoriety in Hollywood for its largesse. Sexiest Man Alive, George Clooney even sounded slightly jealous. He followed up Theron’s endorsement of Fassbender’s peen with a joke about him being able to play golf with his “hands tied behind his back.” Now that’s talent! Click through for more legendary celebrity members. [People]
“In America they’re too scared of sex, that’s why he wasn’t nominated. If you look at the best actor list you’re saying, ‘Michael Fassbender is not on that list?’ It’s kind of crazy. But that’s how it is, it’s an American award, let them have it.”
– “Shame” director Steve McQueen on why his star, Michael Fassbender, was snubbed for an Oscar nomination for Best Actor. It’s so true, which is a sad, frustrating commentary on America’s aversion to honest depictions of sex on film. Might I remind you how “Blue Valentine” was initially rated NC-17 because it showed Ryan Gosling going down on Michelle Williams, but “Black Swan” had an R-rating even though it had a Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis sex scene? The thing is, “Shame” isn’t about “SEXY SEXYTIMES,” although, yes, there is a lot of sex in it. The film is actually about how addiction feeds on people trying to feel a gaping, painful hole in their spirit with something else. You know, like, a topic everybody can relate to?
So, in conclusion, screw you, Oscars. [Press Association]