Tag Archives: michael fassbender

Michael Fassbender Thinks Fame Is Making Him More Successful With Women

“You become a lot more successful in terms of, like, talking to a girl. She’s all of a sudden more interested in me. I know that, like, three years ago, she would’ve walked away after two sentences left my mouth. … I remember I was sitting at this table at this thing, and I was talking to this girl. I was like, ‘God, I am so boring right now.’ But she was like, ‘That’s so interesting!’ I was like, ‘You know what? Five years ago, this would not have been interesting.’ “

Michael Fassbender may be right that his increasing fame has made women more interested in what he has to say, but I think there’s one specific role that’s done the most for his mojo. I saw “Shame” three times, Michael, and that first scene is everything. I paused. I stared. (That link is NSFW, BTW.) And I’m sure every other red-blooded hetero lady did too. (P.S. Click through the gallery above for Michael’s GQ cover shoot. I’m SO SURE he had trouble with women before. Puhlease.) [GQ]

Marion Cotillard And Michael Fassbender To Star In An Extremely Attractive Version Of “Macbeth”

Marion Cotillard as Lady Macbeth? I never knew I wanted it until it happened.

The actress is replacing Natalie Portman, who was originally going to play the scheming Queen. There’s no word on why Portman’s no longer involved, but I don’t even care, because Marion Cotillard! She’s brilliant at scheming and crazy! It’s perfect. She’ll be acting alongside Michael Fassbender, who’s been attached to play Macbeth from the beginning. No other actors have been cast yet, but we do know the film is being directed by relative newcomer Justin Kurzel and produced by the team behind “The King’s Speech” and “Shame.” Read more at The Mary Sue…

Natalie Portman To Play Lady MacBeth?

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  • Natalie Portman has supposedly signed on to play Lady Macbeth opposite Michael Fassbender in a new “Macbeth” remake. If having once been in a film with Ashton Kutcher and playing a Shakespearean lead is not versatility, I don’t know what is. [The Film Stage]
  • Don’t send Kim Kardashian and Kanye West baby gifts! Not that you were going to, anyway, after you spent $730 on that ice bucket from her and Kris Humphries’ registry. [TMZ]
  • Emma Stone is starring in Woody Allen’s next film, which, like “Midnight In Paris,” will be filmed in France. [Vanity Fair]
  • Listen to “Jerk Ribs,” a new track from Kelis’ upcoming album, appropriately enough titled FOOD. [Flavorwire]
  • This weatherman kept going despite a case of the hiccups. What a champ. [NPR] Keep reading »

Is This Real Life? Michael Fassbender Is Massaging Ryan Gosling

It’s photographed from a distance, and it’s a bit grainy, and it’s part of a scene for a movie, but when it comes down to it, all that matters is that this is a picture of Michael Fassbender giving Ryan Gosling a massage. Otherwise known as proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. [Buzzfeed]

Sit On Ryan's Face
This chair is only $950, ladies (and gay men). Read More »

Michael Fassbender And Charlize Theron’s W Magazine Cover Is Kinda Weird, No?

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Michael Fassbender and Charlize Theron are both undeniably gorgeous human beings and outstanding performers, so naturally I’m a fan regardless of how they play it. The “Prometheus” co-stars landed the August cover of W Magazine, and while there is basically no photograph in the world that could make these two look bad, I can’t help but feel like something is a little off. Fassy just looks so worried, and Charlize’s head is at a weird angle, and there are so many arms and hands and elbows involved that it all comes off as being awkward to me. Am I imagining things? Do you think this cover photo does the spectacular actors justice, or is it not quite what you expected? Also, for what it’s worth, if it is worth anything at all: they are both wearing lambskin.

Imagined Drawings Of Michael Fassbender’s Penis (NSFW)

Domestic Assault?
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The details on the assault accusations leveled against Fassbender. Read More »
Fassbender Penis
michael fassbender
Micheal Fassbender says his penis is no big deal. We beg to disagree. Read More »

Before things get awkward here, I feel the need to make a disclaimer that talk of Michael Fassbender’s penis (or him in general) does not come without an acknowledgement of the horrific domestic violence charges that were brought against him by an ex-girlfriend and later dropped. I take these charges seriously and they indeed color my view of Mr. Fassbender. You may read more about the details here.

That being said: I am here to talk about amateur drawings of his penis. I saw Michael Fassbender’s dong (heretofore referred to as Fassdong) ever so briefly in “Shame.” Although I didn’t commit Fassdong to memory, I just remember it was very large. So large, that my friend who I saw the movie with and I still discuss it occasionally. Some seem to believe that Ridley Scott’s latest film, “Prometheus,” used the legend of the Fassdong to distract people from the fact that the film sucked. I haven’t seen it yet, so I’m in no position to weigh in. Vice Magazine, wondering how many people would see a movie solely for the fame of its lead penis, challenged audience members at the London premiere of the film to draw their own version of Fassdong. Click through to see some of the NSFW results.

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