Michael Lohan is so freaking douchey that he makes me wish every day were Father’s Day so I can tell my own dad how amazing he is. After sounding off in the press about Lindsay‘s love life and saying that she has a serious prescription drug problem, Michael has stooped to a new low, releasing embarrassing phone conversations to Radar Online. Hear the first call here—it’s supposedly Lindsay crying to him, though his part of the conversation is conveniently missing and it doesn’t even sound like her. Listen to the second tape, allegedly of Dina talking to Michael about Lindsay. Even worse—Michael’s calling himself a saint for doing this, claiming that this is about publicly pressuring her to go to rehab. Ever since these tapes were released, Lindsay and her dad have been having a public war of words.

“You know why Lindsay’s not acting in feature films right now? Because she can’t. Because the girl with all the talent is hidden and buried deep inside this fungus that’s grown because of the prescription drugs. She can’t be herself. When you hug her she’s like, vacant inside. When she kisses or holds me I get chills, and not in a good way—in a bad way.”

— Michael Lohan discusses daughter Lindsay in an interview with RadarOnline.com. Not to make light of what may very well be a serious drug addiction, but I have a hard time imagining any father getting chills “in a good way” when his daughter “kisses and holds” him. Ew.