Tag Archives: mental health

Finding A Tattoo Artist After Trauma

A few months ago, one of my friends posted on Facebook that he was looking for a new tattoo shop that was woman-friendly and queer-friendly after a bad experience with his last artist. I asked him privately who the artist was who he’d had a bad experience with and he gave me the guy’s name and the tattoo shop he worked at. “He’s quiet and nice in person, but when I friended him on Facebook I found out he’s anti-choice, anti-gay, racist, misogynist, and pro-gun. After he defended the Hobby Lobby decision I decided I can’t ignore his politics anymore.”

I told him I could relate: I had gone to one artist who had done fantastic work, but when I friended him on Facebook I found out that he had dressed in redface to be the Blackhawks mascot for Halloween and was just throwing out people’s criticisms wholesale and telling them to unfriend him instead. More recently, I’d gotten beautiful work done at a different shop that had done similarly great work for my friends, but when I went back to look into getting knuckle tattoos, the artist had thrown out my few guidelines — I didn’t want the tattoo to be black, and I wanted it to be pretty without being too feminine. He insisted that it had to be black and block lettering or it’d take away from the “impact” of the tattoos. I had asked for what I’d asked for because I already have black block letters on the insides of my fingers and I needed to differentiate, and because these are my hands. I want to love this tattoo for the rest of my life. He clearly didn’t care, so I canceled the appointment. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: The Transition From Hairstylist To Friend

Girl Talk: The Transition From Hairstylist To Friend

One of the things I lost when I stopped shampooing and cutting my hair was regular hangouts with my former hairstylist/now friend, Maggie. I met her after several bad experiences at Hair Cuttery and Great Clips, where I’d go for a $20 hair cut, say, “Fuck my hair up!” and the stylist would interpret that as “You want a layered bob.” I did not want a layered bob. I wanted fucked-up hair.

I think I was 22 when I started seeing Maggie on the reg. I decided I’d splurge on a $35 haircut at Regis, one of those slightly-more-upscale mall hair salons where you learn that paying $15 more for your haircut really goes a long way. It was a lot for me at the time when you counted the tip, too, but Maggie made it worth it. I said, “Fuck up my hair!” and she looked at my hair for a minute or so, decided how to artfully fuck it up, and proceeded to do so. Keep reading »

Coloring Is A Good De-Stressing Tool For Adults

Coloring Is A Good De-Stressing Tool For Adults

Good news! Coloring is a dang good de-stressing tool for adults. Time to get some colored pencils and get to work!

Psychologist Gloria Martínez Ayala says that the benefits of coloring lie between focusing our attention on fine motor movements and on the logic of color-matching. So while it’s a great distraction from stressors, it’s also a novel and challenging physical and mental activity — like meditation, but brighter. Jüng was using coloring as a therapeutic activity a hundred years ago. Keep reading »

I’m So Tired Of This Sentimental BS About How Social Media Is Bad For Us

Ironic: This Is Going Viral On Facebook!

Are you buggin’, Prince Ea? Yes. You are buggin’. Social media is not that bad. I am seriously about to headdesk over here over the critiques this video for “Can We Auto Correct Humanity?” poses.

Let me tell you a story about my childhood. When I was very young, my dad commuted by train, and my mom was still at home with us. After my sister and I came home from school, the three of us would go to meet my dad at the train station. Charming image, isn’t it? My dad would then routinely proceed to blow right past us because he was so absorbed in the book he was reading. Keep reading »

Frisky Rant: It’s Not Offensive To Suggest That People Help Protect Themselves From Crime

The University of Wisconsin Madison Police Department posted an article this week about safety tips on campus and, of course, people are manufacturing reasons to get mad about it.

I really do mean manufacturing. These are really simple and effective safety tips that are not aimed specifically at women or the issue of campus rape. The only offensive thing about the article was the original title, “Shedding the Victim Persona: Staying Safe On Campus.” Once it was brought to the UWPD’s attention that “victim persona” unduly puts blame on victims for the crimes committed against them, they changed the title (albeit not the URL) to “Tools You Can Use: Staying Safe On Campus.” Voilà. They did their part to correct bad language. When contacted about the article, they stood by it as useful information for everyone. Keep reading »

“Gone Girl” The Movie Betrays Gone Girl The Book

todays lady news
  • How the film version of “Gone Girl” betrays the delicate relationships depicted in Gone Girl the book. [AV Club]
  • A necessary read on how sex doesn’t have to be rape to be harmful. [NY Mag]
  • Jane Fonda, Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Lopez, and Viola Davis are appearing on the cover of Vanity Fair’s Power of Women issue. [Jezebel] Keep reading »
  • Zergnet: Simply Irresistible

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