If maxipad and tampon ads were honest, women would be crying over cotton commercials in their loosest sweatpants while shoveling spoonfuls of Breyer’s into their mouths. [Can I just say that I'm not like this when I'm on my period? Maybe it's because I'm on the pill. --Editor] Instead, commercials make Aunt Flo look like all yoga classes, all the time. British dude Richard Neill just couldn’t take it anymore. He penned a (joking) rant on the Facebook page of Bodyform Maxi Pads about the lack of interest his “lady” has in extreme sports during her special time of the month and it’s gone viral with tens of thousands of “likes” (surely by other disillusioned menfolk). If Bodyform or any other period product company would like help depicting how women really are on their period, I am available but payment will be required in chocolate. [Mashable]
Ahoy matey! It’s that time of the month. Why not celebrate it by putting this hunky pirate cloth pad in your undies and letting him guard your hidden treasure? Or not. Believe it or not, there’s more swashbuckling menstruation products sailing the crimson seas of Etsy. Click on through to see more WTF period products that make us want to walk the plank. [$9 Etsy via Buzzfeed]
Well before he played, sniff, grandfatherly hitman Mike on “Breaking Bad,” actor Jonathan Banks still dealt in some pretty bloody business. Here he is in a strangely long informational video about menstruation. Odd!
This morning, as the dull ache of cramps woke me from my slumber, I realized something kind of momentous. I have had my period for exactly 20 years. I mean, almost exactly, because I don’t know the exact date or time that my Aunt Flow first came to visit, but I do know it was at the beginning of the school year, before I turned 13. I turn 33 in November, so, yep, that makes for 20 bloody years. That’s a lot of tampons. Over the years, I’ve learned a few things about myself specifically in relation to tampons and their usage. Let me share them with you. Keep reading »
Last night on “Mad Men,” something MAJOR happened, but I am not going to talk about that because I am trying to be respectful of those who do not prioritize TV watching on Sunday night and still haven’t seen the episode. However, I am going to talk about the second major thing that happened on the episode: Sally Draper, my little spirit animal, got her period! Naturally, it happened during the most inconvenient time possible, i.e. on a secret date to the museum with Creepy Neighbor Glen, who debuted a new mustache. Sally was so freaked out that she took a cab all the way home from the city so she could be consoled by mom Betty. Because when a little girl first gets her period, no one else will do but the mom you usually hate.
Sally definitely had it better than poor Sansa Stark, who got her period only a few weeks ago on “Game of Thrones.” Sadly, her own mother is far, far away, and so she had to deal with future mother-in-law Queen Cersei’s version of “womanly wisdom.” Here’s a chart comparing Sally and Sansa’s tumultuous first periods.
This is so gross even “Horrible Bosses” didn’t go there: a 24-year-old maid in Singapore has reportedly been charged for putting menstrual blood in her boss’s coffee last August. Jumiah had been working for her 38-year-old employer at his apartment for one year. Unfortunately, there are no details on why she decided to give this dude his coffee with a side of tampon. Does she have a screw loose? Did he do something awful to her? How did he learn he had menstrual blood in his coffee? Was it the extra-iron-filled taste? The slightly vag-y smell?
This is what happens when there’s no HR department to handle problems at work. [Huffington Post]
Fashion editorial can be so boring. When I’m flipping through an issue of Marie Claire or Vogue, you know what I often find myself thinking? Needs more blood. Period blood. The folks at Vice, who search high and low for new ways to shock people, apparently read my mind, because this month, the magazine’s fashion story — complete with wear to buy credits, etc. — has menses! Click through (be aware, this is probably NSFW) to see what I mean… [VICE]
Feminine hygiene products should be hygienic, no? Well, that was not the case when Danielle Parr went to insert a Kotex tampon into her hoo-ha and discovered that the tampon popped out of the applicator covered in mold. Let me repeat that: MOLD. MOLLLLLLLLLD. Luckily for her, she was, for some reason, removing the tampon from the applicator before inserting it so she was able to spot the black and green fungus before it was injected into her lady business. Can you imagine? I’m dry heaving. Keep reading »
Ahh, periods. The first time Aunt Flow comes to town is a momentous and sometimes upsetting experience. But it doesn’t have to be! A company called Menarche Parties R Us wants to help you create a lifetime of memories by feting the first expulsion of the uterine wall. Play games like Pin the Ovaries, the Puberty Marshmallow Game, and Menstruation Trivia! Eat (what, red stuff?) off of speciality plates and send guests home with “Private Days Feminine Disposable Bags”! Ensure that your teenage daughter never, ever, ever speaks to you again because you threw such an extravaganza on an already confusing occasion! Keep reading »
One spring afternoon when I was in high school in New York City, I had a bizarre health scare. A friend and I had been lounging by the Hudson River pretending to read and philosophize but really gossiping about our schoolmates — acting exactly our age.
That afternoon, I had miserable symptoms as I always did when I had my period. So I popped some handy painkillers, waited for them to work, gritted my teeth, yakked some more with my friend, and then went home. Later that evening I noticed myself itching at the hairline, then on my face. Within an hour, I was completely covered with distinct red polka dots which would have been cute on a dress, but were horrifying on my skin. Hurriedly I showered, took Benadryl, and woke up fine the next morning. I assumed it had been a reaction to something on the ground or a tree.
But then it happened again the next time I had my period. So my mother, like the good Jewish mom that she is, marched me to the doctor. There I learned I was allergic to anti-inflammatory medicines: Aspirin, Advil, Aleeve, Motrin and their equivalents. I could only take Tylenol, which didn’t help nearly as much as the other pills had.
This newly-diagnosed allergy posed a big problem. Keep reading »