I remember sitting in sex ed class in 1990 as my 7th grade teacher (of course, a guy) played a film strip about menstruation. It was way outdated—from the early ‘70s at best— and it showed us girls in the class how to hook a pad into the metal belt you supposedly had to wear during your period. Only, those metal belts had gone the way of the dinosaur at least 15 years before. I knew this because I’d already started my period and had never once seen one of these terrifying belts. It was embarrassing, but I raised my hand and decided to tell the class how pads really worked—that you simply stick them into your underwear. I remember thinking if 20 years before my time women had to wear a metal belt to greet Aunt Flow, what was it like having your period, say, 100 years ago?

Authors Elissa Stein and Susan Kim must have wondered this too, because they’ve written a whole book—in bookstores today—on the subject. It’s called FLOW: The Cultural Story Of Menstruation and it details all the ludicrous beliefs about women’s periods from ancient times through the present. I asked Elissa and Susan to tell us the ten strangest facts they learned researching this book. Did you know that Lysol was originally a douche? Or that in Biblical times, women had to do an animal sacrifice after their period? Read on for more fascinating period beliefs.

The first time I got my period, my mother (after crying and then running to tell my father even though I had just asked her not to) got into bed with me and brought a rich, dark chocolate mousse with her. She explained to me that women eat chocolate during their periods because it makes them feel calm and happy. This I found to be true, but when Aunt Flo started visiting with more intensity, mom didn’t coddle, and instead handed me a huge dose of Advil. “Are you crazy?” I shouted. “This will kill me!” “No,” she said, “What’s on the bottle is a safe dose, but they use far more in hospitals when people are in pain. You’re in lots of pain.” And so for years I’ve been shoving Ibuprofen down my throat (usually eight or so a day during ladytime).

Hey, kids! Periods are fun! Now you and Pokémon, your favorite anime friend, can play together during your week of womanly splendor. Bringing some fun to where the sun don’t shine, this little fella will replace your ordinary Always pads with magical powers. Better yet, it’s eco-friendly! Chuck it in the wash, and Pokémon comes out like new! [Geekologie.com]

The highlight performance from last night’s MTV Video Music Awards—for me anyway—was the divine Lady Gaga‘s “Phantom of the Opera”-esque rendition of “Paparazzi.” In the music video for the song, she gets shot up by the paps, but in her live performance, she looked like she had a massive brawl with Aunt Flo. First Tyra, now Lady Gaga. Is flaunting your period the next big thing?

If Tyra Banks can share with everyone on “The Tyra Show” when she got her first period—during 11th grade, at her dad’s house—so can The Frisky editors. I’ll start!

Mine came the summer after 7th grade on the second morning of sailing lessons at the local country club. (Shut up, I’m a WASP.) One the first day of obnoxiously preppy sailing class, the students had to tread water in the pool for a few minutes to prove that we wouldn’t drown if the boats capsized. But my Blair Waldorf-ian self woke up the morning of the second class with blood in my underwear! Because I’m my mom’s baby, she majorly teared-up over me getting my period—so embarrassing! So I just snatched the pads from her and hissed that I didn’t want to talk about it. Mom had no chance to teach me about tampons and I didn’t ask!

But I spent the next several days of sailing class terrified we’d have to go in the pool again, or my boat would capsize and I’d get wet, and everybody would know I was wearing a big, soggy pad. To this day, that’s pretty much all I remember about sailing lessons! I didn’t use a tampon for the first time until I was 16 (during a performance of “The Vagina Monologues” of all places). Alas, by then, my sailing days were over.

I’m not the only Frisk-ette with a slightly tragic first period story. Our tales of tampons and trauma, after the jump.

I can think of lots of momentous events I wouldn’t want human pit bull/Baby Phat designer Kimora Lee Simmons around for—and inserting a tampon in my coochie for the very first time is one of them. But on “The Tyra Show”‘s first-ever program all about periods, Tyra Banks shared how, at the ripe-old age of 26, Miss Fabulosity coached (bullied?) her on how to insert a tampon. An applicator-less tampon. There’s some mental imagery for you!

But Tyra’s period show wasn’t all about famous women pushing Tampax up their lady flowers: Tyra invited three doctors on the show to explain why Aunt Flo comes to visit.  It’s a ghastly state of affairs for sex ed if grown women are learning why they get their periods on “The Tyra Show.” Still, I learned lotsa stuff about my monthlies thanks to Ty-Ty ... like, you can still get laid if you go to bed wearing an adult diaper on your heavy flow nights. Proof of THAT above!

This week, I got a letter from a lady who is wondering if she can let her date play Moses and part the Red Sea.

“I have recently been flirting with an old hookup and we have both been hinting at wanting to rekindle the affair. We live in different cities, and he is coming to visit this weekend and I have a suspicion that we’ll be having sex.  Unfortunately, my period is due to come on Friday!  How do I go about having sex during my period without getting everything messy and/or grossing both of us out? I read that you can have sex while wearing the Instead Cup, so I’m totally on that one and hope it works!”—
Fantastic Timing

I don’t get lady times once a month. In fact, I don’t get it ever. Due to babymaker problems that you’d prefer not to think about (trust me), I’ve been on a constant stream of birth control for six months so as to avoid more surgery. In short, my reproductive system doesn’t function. The factory has been shut down.

But because a few icky lady parts problems and surgeries just aren’t enough to deal with, I’ve also reacted badly to six different forms of hormones, becoming a bloated, mean, or moody mess after a few weeks on each. So last week, once the inexplicable crying had set in, my chest had inflated to monstrous proportions, and I felt the urge to kick small children, my doctor decided it was time to try my seventh variety of hormone. But rather than switching directly from the patch to the new pill, she told me to take a week off, complete a cycle and then get back to being The Amazing Period-Less Girl.

With all the advances in technology and medical research, it’s about damned time someone discovered a way to minimize or eliminate that inconvenient monthly scourge we ladies call our period. Or so drugs like Seasonale and Lybrel, which advertise their ability to reduce or annihilate a monthly period (respectively) would have you believe. As anyone who watches E! or SoapNet (what? You don’t watch “Being Erica”?) can attest, there’s been an explosion in the marketing of birth control pills that help you manage your flow, but the technology allowing a woman to do this has been around since the advent of the Pill in 1960. In fact, the Pill’s creators allowed specifically for a week-long sabbatical from the hormones that stopped you from ovulating with the specific intention of mimicking the body’s natural cycle, worried that women would balk at the notion of not having her trusty monthly visitor. But the fact is, if you’re on the Pill, there’s no reason to bleed. And yet some women still find the idea of not having a period exceedingly unnatural. So the question is: when you’re on the Pill, is your period really necessary? Two women weigh in, after the jump…

Yesterday, as I was flipping through People, I came across an advertisement that scared me to death. What was it marketing? Feminine hygiene products, of course. Because, I mean, what could be scarier than a period?! The Always Infinity ad features a dangerous tornado-like whirlpool swirling ominously into a gigantic maxi pad. A pad that, apparently, has the power to absorb ten times its weight— “so your heavy days won’t spin you out of control.” (If you care to see the full, 3-D, moving visual, check it out here.)

Last year, Britney Spears totally embarrassed herself by acting erratic at an OK! Magazine photo shoot. She wiped her grease covered hands on a several thousand dollar dress. Her dog crapped on the floor, and Brit Brit used another dress to clean it up. Not to mention she once showed the world her period panties. Although Britney has cleaned up her act, she still doesn’t know what’s appropriate at a photo shoot. A spy for the New York Post, says the pop tart’s recent Elle shoot was a total disaster because she forgot about her period. Yes, Britney apparently ruined beautiful couture clothes with her menstrual blood. [NYPost.com]

I don’t know how this could happen to any adult woman. You don’t just forget about your period. There are several tell-tale signs, besides a bloody stain—sore breasts, cramping, irritable mood, or the fact that it comes every month, unless you’re pregnant or have some biological issue. 

Having sex while Aunt Flo is in town is definitely a love it or hate it situation—friends and fellow bloggers, Twanna Hines and Desiree Moodie were on opposite sides of the fence on the subject and asked to argue their viewpoints for The Frisky. Read both of their extremely convincing arguments after the jump (who knew there were so many benefits to period sex?!), then tell us what you think in the comments and vote in our poll.

I took a lot of women’s studies classes in college and even spelled women as “womyn” for a while, but I’ve never quite understood menstrual art. I have a lil’ soft spot for all the artists on this list, but it was loads of humorous fun pulling the lyrics for our Top Five Menstrual Songs:

5. “Cause my swag is serious/Something heavy like a first-day period.”—Janet Jackson, “Feedback”, Discipline
I’m confused. Janet’s periods are heavy on the first day? That sucks.

“I’ve heard about the various birth control pills that you can take to go without your period for a few months and longer. Are they really safe and recommended?”—Banning Aunt Flo, via email

Have you seen that SNL skit (clip after the jump!), where the women are going ape sh*t because they haven’t had their period in months? I have, and I have to say it scared that crap out of me.

Some really successful female athletes rarely or never get their periods. We would say this is unfair, except we’re not really into working that hard, physically. These athletes’ loss of periods was traditionally thought to be the cause of ridiculous training sessions and strict diets (and many still believe this to be true), but now some researchers think polycystic ovary syndrome may be the cause. Magnus Hagmar, a researcher at the Karolinska Institute, found that polycystic ovaries were much more common in athletes training for the Olympics compared with the average woman. Not only that, but this syndrome causes an increase in testosterone, which can result in a competitive advantage by helping women build muscle mass and absorb oxygen more easily—but they also might have excess body hair and acne. Ah, the price of gold. [BBC]

We’ve been curious for awhile about what dudes think about having sex when a woman is on her period. I don’t like it, but not because it grosses me out—I’m just a clean freak and don’t like messes of any sort. But what about dudes? I got a wide mix of responses when I asked the guys on my IM. Check out what they had to say, after the jump!

I’m just gonna say it. I love the Kardashian sisters. They really know about family values. Here they are instructing their littlest sister, Kendall, about periods! I don’t know about you, but even I learned something, and I’ve had my period since I was 12. [E!: Keeping Up With The Kardashian’s]

“Can you really not get preggers if you have sex on the last days of your period?”—Hating Condoms, Cleveland, OH

How many times have you heard an “Oops” story? Every Christmas there’s always that relative that drinks too much eggnog and says something like, “You know, Larry was a mistake. We were done having kids. We wanted to go to Bermuda.” I’m sure if Larry was a lawyer and not still living with his mother, she wouldn’t say that. But you get my drift.