Jill Zarin from “The Real Housewives of New York City” says Kelly Bensimon should leave the show, go back to anonymity, and repair her reputation. [E! Online]—But then who would we have to hate? Ramona, I guess.

If you’re not totally sick of Kelly yet, take a tour of her closet—er, series of rooms. [Shine]—I bet she has a whole section for her age-inappropriate mini-dresses, skirts, and shorts. You know, because “legs are the new breasts.”

Melissa Rosenberg, who’s writing the screenplay for “Eclipse,” the third film in the “Twilight” saga, wants Channing Tatum to play Riley, a villainous vampire who attacks Bella and the Cullens. [Pop Eater] Yum, yum, yum!

Last night I saw an Alvin Ailey Dance Theater performance. It was spectacular. However, as I looked around during the intermissions I realized this performance was a horrible place to meet a man. Some men seemed to have been dragged to the theater by their wives/girlfriends and the others seemed to be gay. Some people say that to meet a new man you just have to go out, but I think there are some specific places you shouldn’t go to meet any man. Check out 10, after the jump…

Yesterday while flipping though my new issue of Time Out New York I spotted a listing in the “Seek” section under the heading “Dating” that made me take pause. It was an announcement for a “Quiet Party,” a singles event where, get this, participants are not allowed to talk (I guess that’s one way to take care of rule #3…). Instead of speaking with each other, party guests are asked to write notes to each other, nonverbally flirt (rule #2!) and buy a minimum of two drinks (“Once this playful foundation mixes with a little alcohol, inhibitions disappear and notes begin to fly,” the website explains.). Hey, as far as I’m concerned, it beats screaming at each other over loud voices and thumping music in some bar. Plus, I’m all for anything that gives writerly word nerds a little edge.

If I had a dime for how many times I’ve heard another woman whine about how she “needs to find a man,” I’d have enough change in my purse to buy a pair of slouchy new Frye boots and a ticket to Barcelona for the holidays. (Seriously, doesn’t that sound like a nice place to spend Christmas day?) But I don’t have a dime for every whine, and since I’m getting kind of tired of listening to it all, I’m going to tell you exactly how to land a man, so we can finally talk about more important things, like whether I should cut my hair like Katie Holmes. Forget that monkey business about not ever calling a guy, and follow the real rules after the jump.