When you’re single, there’s not much need for secrets. You live on your own, pay your own bills and make your own decisions because you don’t have to answer to anyone but yourself. If you want that pair of $250 jeans but have no money, who says you can’t charge them? It’s you and only you that will suffer the consequences, so who the heck cares? Marriage, in many ways, means the end of this autonomy. That $250 pair of jeans? Someone else will likely see that you spent that much on them or recognize their presence, if not the Neiman Marcus bag they came in. And, odds are, he or she won’t be too pleased.
Before I got married, I engaged in all sorts of behaviors that I knew were dumb, but I chose to do anyway because I was my own boss. I knew my habitual enjoyment of Marlboro Ultra Lights and shopping extravaganzas completely incongruous with my paychecks were idiotic (The aforementioned jeans story? That was me. Every week.), but I didn’t care enough to stop. Once R. and I got hitched however, I realized I had to. We were living together now – sharing everything, and I knew I couldn’t be self-centered Chelsea anymore. Keep reading »