It’s hard to start the sex fire with the female Lake Eyre dragon from Australia. They pretend to be dead to avoid fornication. The female Lake Eyre dragon is particular about her partners. Why? Because their mating ritual begins with the male biting her neck to hold her down, an act that can result in back-breaking death. Here’s how she does it.

 

The BBC and Chinese state television collaborated on a documentary showing giant pandas’ courtship in the wild, and it just might be the first time such images will appear on TV. Very exciting. The producer of the documentary Wild China says the mating calls sound like “Chewbaccas in a pub brawl.” But the guy pandas don’t have it easy. Not only do they have to fight off other men, they have to be ready for the two-day “peak receptive time” for female giant pandas. The male waits it out by eating bamboo. Perhaps the whole eating-chips-on-the-couch-while-watching-sports thing is the human equivalent of the pandas’ pre-sex waiting ritual. [BBC]

While a lot of celebrities like to walk around with their cooters out, it turns out that just means they’re less evolved females. Big surprise! But seriously, evolution is to blame for all the problems men have reading women’s sexual signals—although it seems like the trade off was worth it. Back in the day, when we were monkeys, our privates were very public. When our hairy ancestors were in heat, their vajayjay butts would swell up and then they’d go around trying to get laid by showing off the hot mess to the males like this. Conversely, since the apes walked around on all fours, the men’s junk was hidden, so if they popped up, no one was the wiser.  Needless to say, ape sexuality was totally backwards by today’s human standards.  So, how’d our fates get reversed?