Tag Archives: masturbation

Give Love To Your Spank Bank With ThankYourWank.com

You know who doesn’t get enough appreciation around here? Those hardworking folks we jerk off to. I mean, talk about a group constantly overlooked year after year on Labor Day. Most of them toil away busily in our brains, meeting our every sexual need, and what do they have to show for it? Nothing. That’s where ThankYourWank.com fills a much-needed gap in the masturbation-related gratitude industry. Not only can you post photographs of that girl who sits next to you in Comp Sci — which we’re sure her family and future employers will appreciate — but you can also thank celebrities who star in your sexual fantasies. (Let me say it loud and clear so I can never be accused of not being appreciative enough: CLIVE OWEN, THANK YOU.) Basically, Thank Your Wank is just a masturbation-themed Hot Or Not knockoff. But at least you can get weekly email alerts about how many people have gotten themselves off while thinking about you. [ThankYourWank.com via YourTango] Keep reading »

That’s Not Sexism: Christine O’Donnell Claims Piers Morgan’s Interview Was Sexist

Accusing the courtly British interviewer Piers Morgan of being rude did not seem to work for Christine O’Donnell, so now she is claiming sexism is to blame. “If he was sitting there talking to Barack Obama or Joe Biden or any other male Senate candidates, talking about masturbation and all of this stuff, it would’ve been creepy,” she told the conservative website The Daily Caller. “He kept pressing and pressing and pressing.” Morgan was referring to her publicly-known views about masturbation being sinful, which she compared to adultery on a 1996 MTV special about sex. One would assume the president and vice president have never had to answer questions about masturbation because they have each been discreet enough to keep their opinions on the topic to themselves. If either man had crusaded against masturbation at any point in their careers, I’d bet my firstborn child that the mainstream media would be all over it. Keep reading »

Poll: What’s Your Preferred Method Of Masturbation?

What's your preferred method of masturbation?

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Teen Masturbation Study Shows Boys Start Earlier And Jerk Off More

Teen boys masturbate more than teen girls and start touching themselves at younger ages, according to a new study of 800 teens by National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior. You’re shocked, right? Keep reading »

Mind Of Man: I Bought A Sex Toy (Almost)

mind of man photo

It’s amazing what a man will do when he is both horny and bored. I firmly believe all of man’s great contributions to civilization were a direct result of boredom and sexual frustration. Alexander the Great conquered the ancient world because he was bored and horny. Galileo turned his telescope to the stars because he was bored and horny. The entire Internet, the greatest communication device ever invented, was basically created by legions of bored and horny men. So that’s my excuse. The reason I almost, almost, purchased a male sex toy online is because I was bored and horny. Keep reading »

Chew On This, Pervs

I’m assuming this only works on people who can’t chew gum and jerk off at the same time. [The Clearly Dope] Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Want My Boyfriend To Fantasize About Other Women

I read Eliza Jules’ essay “I Obsessively Monitor My Husband’s Lube Bottle” over at xoJane and was left with this question: Is a partner’s masturbation something we should worry about? The more I’ve thought about it, though, the more I’ve concluded that, for me, I’m at the very opposite end of the spectrum as Jules; I’d be worried if someone I was dating didn’t masturbate, all the more so if I was the cause behind them holding off in the self-love department. I also wouldn’t expect someone’s firmly entrenched patterns of masturbation and porn use, especially if I met them well into their adult life, to change just because they were with me.

I’ll even go so far as to say I would definitely not want to be the sole source of my partner’s masturbation fodder. Part of it? Sure. But imagine the pressure if every single time they jerked off, they were thinking about you. That would creep me out a bit, and while I’m not an expert, I don’t think that’s a realistic goal, especially when you’re talking about long-term relationships. Keep reading »

Jason Sudeikis Learned Masturbation Techniques From ChatRoulette

“Here’s a little movie-magic fun fact for you. I did all my research by going on ChatRoulette, that website where guys masturbate for strangers. My moves in [the masturbation scene in] “Hall Pass” are an amalgamation of, I don’t know, maybe 20,000 different dudes. I took the facial expressions from SexHog22; I took the hand motions from GrizzlyBearDong. Those guys really know what they’re doing.”

Jason Sudeikis tells Playboy where he learned his magic masturbation moves as seen in the movie “Hall Pass.” No wonder he lands such hot ladies — with tips from dudes like SexHog22, who wouldn’t? It’s nice to see how the internet is inspiring actors to hone their craft. [Playboy] Keep reading »

Guy Talk: Can Male Masturbators Catch A Break?

Male masturbators can’t seem to catch a break. Despite the assumption that every guy has masturbated, is masturbating, or will masturbate, self-pleasure has been getting a bad rap for 3000 years. From Orthodox Judaism to traditional Buddhism, the religious strictures against men masturbating are ancient and enduring. (Because the spiritual authorities were so often ignorant about female masturbation, women caught a rare break. What was the point in condemning a practice many men didn’t believe existed?) Keep reading »

Even Politicians Masturbate, Says Ex-Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders

“We’re at least talking about [masturbation] much more. [In 1994] everybody was acting like this was a word they’d never heard. Everybody does it, but nobody admits to it. If everybody in Congress who’d ever masturbated in their life would turn green, then we would have a green Congress.”

— Former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, 77, who was the first African-American to hold the position during the Clinton administration. In 1994, Elders said masturbation was a part of human sexuality and perhaps should be taught in sex ed classes as a way to keep youngsters from having, you know, sex. Everyone’s head exploded and Elders was forced to resign. I recommend you read the full interview with Joycelyn Elders’ feisty commentary about the status of sexual health in America at The Root, because this woman is a spitfire! [The Root] Keep reading »

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