Sometimes, when I’m deciding what to eat (or what not to eat) for lunch, I cruise for the latest food news for ideas. Last week, I told you about an uproar over lion tacos. Today, I stumbled upon some really strange food crimes. After the jump, a meat-on-meat masturbation mishap and a pickle attack! It’s all so phallic. Keep reading »
When you ride public transportation you’re bound to have some unsavory seat mates. It’s inevitable. I recall riding the bus once with a man carrying a giant boa constrictor in a tote bag. That was a long ride. I’ve tried to block it out but I can’t. At least three unfortunate women taking the Trimet bus in Portland had the great misfortune of riding with Jared Weston Walter, the man arrested for ejaculating into their hair. A Trimet surveillance camera captured Walter standing behind women, pleasuring himself and releasing his special protein treatment onto their heads. Well, I think that earns him the worst seat mate award. He’s also earned some charges: sex abuse, harassment, disorderly conduct, public indecency and interfering with public transportation. Keep reading »
UPDATE: I have since viewed 40+ minute scene from “Farrah Superstar: Back Door Teen Mom” and have additional thoughts!
Last night, in the name of journalism — okay, I was bored and horny — I decided to take one for the team (that would be you guys, my beloved Frisky readers) and hopped in bed to masturbate while watching the 5:12 clip from Farrah Abraham’s sex tape, “Farrah Superstar: Back Door Teen Mom.” Or, rather, I attempted to masturbate to it. But I’ll get to that in a second…
Yesterday afternoon, I sort of half-assed watched the clip from Farrah and James’ porn and mostly felt uncomfortable because I was at work and I usually don’t like starring at unfamiliar vagina as my coworkers eat lunch around me. But I must admit, I was curious to give the video a closer looksie at home. Though I am a Manuel Ferrara loyalist, James Deen has, hands down, the best sex growl in the biz. His baby-faced boyishness makes it all the more surprising and hot when he breaks out the dirty talk and tit slapping. So, hey, a new James Deen scene to watch? Who cares if his costar is a “Teen Mom”? If she’s good enough for James Deen, she’s fine by me!
Around midnight last night, I kicked my dog Lucca out of bed and on to the couch (nothing distracts from a good solo sex sesh like a puppy trying to curl up under the covers), got out my laptop and my Jimmy Jane vibe, flicked out the lights for, you know, ambiance, hopped in bed and pressed play. Keep reading »
There I was, minding my own (lady-)business, happily masturbating with my Laya Spot, when the cat hopped up on the bed. He rubbed against my leg, purred, made eye contact with me. Held eye contact with me.
That’s it: the moment is killed. I can’t get it off when the cat is in my bed, certainly not while we’re making eye contact.
Unfortunately, domesticated animals are not the only ways Nature conspires against us from enjoying some very special alone time. Ranked from tolerable to worst, here are all the crappy ways to end a masturbation session:
Keep reading »
Ami was disappointed that a press release which seemed to offer her a free cupcake (!) to try was actually offering her a free cupcake-shaped vibrator to test.
I was disappointed in the choice of shape, which is not ergonomic and will look absolutely ridiculous pressed up against one’s ladybusiness. And for $48!
And Sophie was disappointed that none of us realized this Shiri Zinn Cupcake vibe is a gag gift.
All around, a thoroughly disappointing cupcake(-shaped vibrator). [Bloom Enjoy Yourself]
This video shows the commotion after a teacher in Korea violently beat a student and then masturbated in front of the rest of his students. Police arrested the unidentified teacher (the man in the video with his pants down), for causing bodily harm to a minor and public exposure.
According to student witnesses, the teacher beat a boy “savagely” when he discovered he was wearing headphones in class. Then he ran out into the hallway and furiously masturbated. The teacher denies touching himself (although it’s hard to explain why he is pantsless if that’s the case) but admitted to the beating. He is suspended from the school indefinitely. WTF? [Guyism]