We love this study in female masturbation orgasms. Because, seriously, each one is totally different depending on your mood and and method. But orgasms can be divided into general categories. Click through to see diagrams of the different types of masturbatory orgasms. Starting with the standard “Good Orgasm”, which never, ever gets old. [Tempest Paige]
As mostly heterosexual ladies, we’ve had to fear/admire Fleshlight from afar. The silicone vagina slightly horrified us, especially the ones modeled after adult film actresses. Then again, if we’re here wishing upon a star that vibrators rain from the sky, why shouldn’t men enjoy sex toys, too? It’s only fair. Now the tech blogs Geekosystem and Gizmodo report Fleshlight is developing an iPad attachment to make masturbating to porn on your tablet even easier: it attaches onto the iPad like a regular iPad case, but there’s a fake p**sy attached to the end. Messy is the first word that comes to my mind. Little birds tell me that Fleshlight needs lube to achieve that authentically vaginal feel. I don’t know about dudes, but I keep lube bottled up around my $500 toy. [Gizmodo via Geekosystem]
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“I don’t get down with jerking off, dude. Look. I don’t believe in everything that the church says. I try to do the right thing. I lead a clean and pure life. I’m a married guy. I have a beautiful wife. Sex is not the most important thing to me, being horny all the time, spanking the — I mean, it’s not against the law. You can do whatever you want. And it’s not like, ‘I shouldn’t do it because of my faith. I’m just not really that into it that much anyway.”
In addition to assuring the masses that had he been on a hijacked 9/11 plane, “it wouldn’t have went down like it did,” Mark Wahlberg wants you to know that he’s not that into jerking off. Thanks for sharing, Mark! Now go back to shoving your foot in your mouth. Read more quotes from Mark’s Men’s Journal interview at the link. [Evil Beet Gossip]
The e-mail simply read: I’ll pay you $350.
I lay down and thought about this. I thought about a three, a five and a zero. How pretty they looked altogether, no periods to dash out the mass. How nice they would look in my empty piggy bank. I thought about what was being asked of me for the $350. The man wanted me to, shall we say, pleasure myself in front of him. As a straight 21-year-old, newbie journalist, this wasn’t really what I had expected when signing on to do an article about sex parties for a hipster-porn-rag mag.
But this is where my “literary” endeavors had led me — to possible prostitution. The want and need for our readers to hear what it’s like for me, a young Jewish man, living in NYC, to attend, watch and maybe, maybe participate in a sex party, had gotten me into this predicament. Keep reading »
Just found this little gem and thought I’d share. On a recent-ish episode of “In The Bedroom With Dr. Laura,” sexually dissatisfied wife Becky opens up about about her unusual self-pleasuring technique. She likes to hump the corner of her laundry basket to climax — she’s been masturbating this way since college. Fascinating! I am still trying to unpack the logistics of this hump session, but hey, to each her own! Becky’s dependence on her hamper has gotten so out of control that she prefers grinding the basket to grinding her husband Steve’s really “large” penis. The worst part of the whole segment is that Steve silently stands by while Becky tells Dr. Laura what a wimp he is in the sack. Poor guy. Talk about being completely emasculated. But then again, there’s no denying that clean laundry is sexy as hell. Unfortunately, I can’t share the clip, but you can watch it here. [Oprah]
Men, bless them. They love to think about us masturbating, at least the way they think we masturbate based on porn they’ve seen. If only they could be a fly on the wall when we’re actually pleasuring ourselves. Everything they thought to be true would be rocked. My average self-love sessions are performed without fanfare. Done with bad breath, messy hair, in my old sweat pants, before bed, when I wake up, am feeling stressed, or sad, or bored, or annoyed, or horny. After the jump, some stupid misconception guys have about the way we masturbate. Keep reading »
My mother and I were standing in the Atlantic Ocean with water up to our knees.
“Remember when I caught you masturbating, Chloe?” she asked.
“When you were five.”
“I wasn’t five, mom.” Keep reading »
A New York City man referring to himself on Twitter as Mister PeePee has taken it upon himself to masturbate in every single Starbucks bathroom in New York City and then “rate” the “results” on some newfangled Boner Scale. (Jeez, talking about loving the pumpkin spice lattes!) According to the blog Gothamist, he has ambitiously signed up for wanks in over 298 public restrooms. Mister PeePee publicizes his findings in the form of a podcast and reportedly tweets his ratings, as well. Ah, the things you can do on the internet! In response, I will be boycotting Starbucks bathrooms for
the forseeable future forever, possibly. [Gothamist]
“Masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexuality activity, particularly if he’s watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body.”
— This is Pastor Mark Driscoll of Seattle’s fundamentalist Mars Hill Church in his no-doubt enlightening brochure “Porn-Again Christian: A Frank Discussion on Pornography & Masturbation for God’s Men.” Anything other than heterosexual sex is “bordering on homosexual activity” because you’re fooling around with someone of the same sex, duh. The logic, it is flawless! Also, I am as gay as a picnic basket on “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy” being filmed in the Castro District during a Judy Garland Convention. [Queerty] Keep reading »
That is exactly what you think it is. An sculptural interpretation of finger banging. There’s more where that came from at South Korea’s Jeju Love Land, an erotic sculpture park featuring 140 sculptures of sexy stuff. Also of note, a gigantic mosaic penis that squirts water and a bronzed woman pleasuring herself. As Liz Lemon would say, “I want to go to there.” [Laughing Squid]