When it comes to what women find erotic, really, anything goes. There’s the regular stuff — kissing, touching, oral sex, sex, erotica or porn. Easy to talk about! It really turns me on when you put your mouth on my vagina. And then there’s the grittier stuff, but still fairly standard — dirty talk, sex toys, light bondage, butt play. Edgier, but still completely approachable. I want you to tie me up and fuck me in the ass. But then there are those other things that turn us on, that we can hardly explain, that may even make us feel uncomfortable. Like when you’re spelunking through the bowels of the internet and you find a picture of naked, male conjoined twins and you start to get aroused and you’re just kind of like, Why the hell is this making me want to diddle myself? You’re not exactly going to tell your friends about it, or even your partner. Can you imagine? Hey honey, I was thinking we would try some conjoined twin play tonight. No way. Below, a number of women shared their weirdest, most bizarre turn-ons. You know, the ones that they would never admit to anyone, except millions of anonymous strangers online. Keep reading »
Puberty is rough — rougher still when you ignore your mother’s warnings to stop wiping jizz on her nice bathroom towels. If this Redditor’s 13-year-old son doesn’t start depositing his spank bank splooge into tissues soon, he’s going to find his bedroom redecorated with Justin Bieber towels and My Little Pony decor. Way harsh, Mom. [HyperVocal]
With our busy lifestyles, multitasking is a necessity. Like say, for instance, if you want to try to squeeze in both daily exercise (or in the case of NYC’s new Citibike program, your morning commute) and a masturbation session, so you can save the 15 minutes you might spend clicking mindlessly through your Instagram feed. Well, the Happy Ride, a bicycle seat cover with a discreet, high-powered vibrator tucked inside, makes it possible. The sex toy disguised as bicycle gear goes for about $40 and comes with an attached remote control so you can adjust the vibration speed to your liking. Keep reading »
Last night on “Conan,” Aubrey Plaza had the awkward job of talking about her onscreen masturbation scene in her new film “The To-Do List.” Her answer was vague yet funny, just as you’d expect:
“I read it on the page and it said ‘Brandy masturbates.’ In my head I envisioned a nice scene where I see my hand slowly go out of frame … but when I showed up, the camera was mounted on the ceiling, I was in my underwear and a Clinton t-shirt and there were a bunch of old men smoking … the crew guys … then I went and touched myself … I thought I was doing one thing and when I showed up it was a whole different thing. It was a full body shot and I asked the director ‘What should I do?’ and she said, ‘Masturbate like it says in the script.’”
The hazards of the job. Sometimes you show up on set and you just have to pleasure yourself in front of a room full of old men smoking. Then you have to re-live the experience when you’re doing press. That’s what makes you a pro. Seriously, that’s got to be uncomfortable.[Gawker]
I don’t masturbate. Don’t judge me.
That isn’t to say I never have. I’ve tried. I really have. But it’s always felt more of a chore -– a kind of requisite feminist activity -– than the pleasurable, relaxing, even necessary pastime I assume it is for everyone else.
While for most women, I’m told, masturbation is a shameful activity, my shame always came from the fact that my orgasms were never self-induced.
Feminists are supposed to masturbate. We’re supposed to be empowered, sexually liberated, independent women of the (sexy, sexy) future! In essence, we’re supposed to be able to give ourselves dick-free orgasms. Keep reading »
Back in college — this was the late ’90s mind you — I had a friend who had a friend who who got a massage somewhere in Chinatown that ended with the masseur giving her an orgasm. I never met this girl or talked to her directly, but I accepted this story as truth because of its happy ending (har har), although, I’m fairly certain it was an urban legend. Someone wrote an expose about women who get happy ending massages on the regular. So, I guess it happens, but more than 15 years later, I’ve gotten several massages in Chinatown and I’ve never had a hand go anywhere near my no-no parts. I once heard a man in the next massage stall grunting a little bit. But it just sounded like I’m Getting A Massage Grunting. I’ve never met anyone who’s actually had a happy ending massage or admitted to it. And I guess that even if they did, they might not want to brag about it because it’s considered an act of prostitution in every state but Nevada. Good ‘ol Nevada. But this story isn’t about Nevada where masturbatory services flow like Franzia. It’s about China, and the fact that police there had no idea that happy endings were legal. Keep reading »