Last night on “Conan,” Aubrey Plaza had the awkward job of talking about her onscreen masturbation scene in her new film “The To-Do List.” Her answer was vague yet funny, just as you’d expect:
“I read it on the page and it said ‘Brandy masturbates.’ In my head I envisioned a nice scene where I see my hand slowly go out of frame … but when I showed up, the camera was mounted on the ceiling, I was in my underwear and a Clinton t-shirt and there were a bunch of old men smoking … the crew guys … then I went and touched myself … I thought I was doing one thing and when I showed up it was a whole different thing. It was a full body shot and I asked the director ‘What should I do?’ and she said, ‘Masturbate like it says in the script.’”
The hazards of the job. Sometimes you show up on set and you just have to pleasure yourself in front of a room full of old men smoking. Then you have to re-live the experience when you’re doing press. That’s what makes you a pro. Seriously, that’s got to be uncomfortable.[Gawker]
I don’t masturbate. Don’t judge me.
That isn’t to say I never have. I’ve tried. I really have. But it’s always felt more of a chore -– a kind of requisite feminist activity -– than the pleasurable, relaxing, even necessary pastime I assume it is for everyone else.
While for most women, I’m told, masturbation is a shameful activity, my shame always came from the fact that my orgasms were never self-induced.
Feminists are supposed to masturbate. We’re supposed to be empowered, sexually liberated, independent women of the (sexy, sexy) future! In essence, we’re supposed to be able to give ourselves dick-free orgasms. Keep reading »
Back in college — this was the late ’90s mind you — I had a friend who had a friend who who got a massage somewhere in Chinatown that ended with the masseur giving her an orgasm. I never met this girl or talked to her directly, but I accepted this story as truth because of its happy ending (har har), although, I’m fairly certain it was an urban legend. Someone wrote an expose about women who get happy ending massages on the regular. So, I guess it happens, but more than 15 years later, I’ve gotten several massages in Chinatown and I’ve never had a hand go anywhere near my no-no parts. I once heard a man in the next massage stall grunting a little bit. But it just sounded like I’m Getting A Massage Grunting. I’ve never met anyone who’s actually had a happy ending massage or admitted to it. And I guess that even if they did, they might not want to brag about it because it’s considered an act of prostitution in every state but Nevada. Good ‘ol Nevada. But this story isn’t about Nevada where masturbatory services flow like Franzia. It’s about China, and the fact that police there had no idea that happy endings were legal. Keep reading »
While using a phone in bed might prevent some of us from unwinding properly at the end of the day, we’re pretty sure after using this app, most ladies wouldn’t have a problem switching off.
A female masturbation app HappyPlayTime is in development reports Gamification, which will teach female anatomy and provide lessons on self-stimulation techniques through a number of games.
Launched at the start of March this year, the designer Tina Gong has already been overwhelmed by levels of support for the experimental project.
On her blog, she writes: “I am stunned to see all the support we’ve gotten… Though this initially started out as a tenuous experiment, I think it’s safe to say that I’m now working hard to make HappyPlayTime a reality.” Read more on Huffington Post…
Frisky staffers are not the only ones finding pleasure with their hands between their legs. According to former OB/GYN and now Texas Congressman Micheal Burgess (a Republican, natch), male fetuses are masturbating as well!
“Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movement that are purposeful,” Burgess explained during a House committee on Monday when arguing for more restrictions against abortion. “They stroke their face. If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to think that they could feel pain? Sometimes we have to give voice to the voiceless, and this is one of those times.” Keep reading »
May was national fapping month, I sort of dropped the ball on this post but hey, does one ever stop fapping? I certainly don’t contain my fappetry to a single month of the year. Masturbation is healthy and funny. People make funny faces when they are aroused, so if you aren’t participating with them, that shit is hilarious. On the flip side, sometimes it’s sort of disturbing and uncomfortable. The 10 following scenes are all of the above. Read more on College Candy…
Right now, St. Pius X High School’s staff and student body are praying for the soul of former student Valerie Dodds, after the 19-year-old returned to the Lincoln, Nebraska, campus to take nude photos and masturbate with various props, including a crucifix. Dodds, who graduated from a non-Catholic high school in the area and now runs a nude photography business, said that some of her former classmates at the school “said mean things” when she started up her NSFW website and so she returned to the school “to show them that I’m here to stay.” Dodds continued in a post on her website:
“I held nothing back I used my fingers, my toys and even my crucifix in my pussy! I used every part of the school I could get into, payback is a bitch ha ha.”
Keep reading »
Self-pleasure is rarely talked about, and female masturbation especially still makes people oddly uncomfortable. About 92 percent of women say they masturbate — so why aren’t we talking about it?
Solo sex can not only boost your emotional well-being and your sex life — it can also improve your health. For example…
1. Improves Sleep. No more counting sheep. Masturbation is actually a natural snooze sedative. Better (and way more exciting) than the rainforest sleep sounds on your iPod, self-pleasure produces endorphins — the essential chemicals that help ease pain, stress, relax and help you catch up on those zzz’s. Read more on Your Tango…
Sometimes, when I’m deciding what to eat (or what not to eat) for lunch, I cruise for the latest food news for ideas. Last week, I told you about an uproar over lion tacos. Today, I stumbled upon some really strange food crimes. After the jump, a meat-on-meat masturbation mishap and a pickle attack! It’s all so phallic. Keep reading »
When you ride public transportation you’re bound to have some unsavory seat mates. It’s inevitable. I recall riding the bus once with a man carrying a giant boa constrictor in a tote bag. That was a long ride. I’ve tried to block it out but I can’t. At least three unfortunate women taking the Trimet bus in Portland had the great misfortune of riding with Jared Weston Walter, the man arrested for ejaculating into their hair. A Trimet surveillance camera captured Walter standing behind women, pleasuring himself and releasing his special protein treatment onto their heads. Well, I think that earns him the worst seat mate award. He’s also earned some charges: sex abuse, harassment, disorderly conduct, public indecency and interfering with public transportation. Keep reading »