This month has been a big one for public masturbation. A Cosmopolitan blogger wrote about her attempt to masturbate clandestinely on the NYC subway. Spoiler: her session ended with a gyro, not an orgasm. Meanwhile in Sweden … a 65-year-old man who openly pleasured himself on a beach in Stockholm was acquitted because his masturbation was not directed at a specific person. Meaning, it is now considered ”okay” to masturbate in public in Sweden, provided the act does not target another individual. So you can masturbate to the ocean, but not to the woman wearing the string bikini. Got that? We fear that all of this public masturbation hoopla will just further confuse about people about the appropriate times and places to pleasure themselves. That’s why we made this handy flowchart to help you make sure you’re in a safe space to wank.
All the jokes about going downtown just write themselves, don’t they?
When a man masturbates in public, it’s creepy and it’s criminal and women feel at best grossed out and at worst violated. When a woman masturbates in public, it’s …. a really funny article for Cosmoplitan? Keep reading »
The other day, I was strolling around my neighborhood when I came upon the guy who sells, amongst other things, used books at a table set up on the sidewalk. I see him all the time and he’s always got a truly random hodgepodge of books — tattered copies of various chick lit classics, old cookbooks, and Oprah book club picks. This time, though, there was a familiar cover that caught my eye. Woman’s Body: An Owner’s Manual is a health and body book that my parents gave me when I was on the cusp of puberty. I remember it well, not because I read it from cover to cover at any point, but because there were a few choice sections that had a profound impact on my burgeoning sexuality. Basically, this was the book that taught me how to masturbate and provided me with the initial information I needed (i.e. how people have sex) to construct a hot (enough) fantasy to think about while humping a pillow on my bunk bed. Keep reading »
In photographer Clayton Cubitt’s new project, Hysterical Literature, he films women sitting at a table while reading their favorite book. You might be wondering, What’s “hysterical” about that? Here’s what: while the women read, a magical masturbation elf under the table tries to bring them to orgasm with a vibrator. Reading and masturbating are both such great activities separately, but together, the make a ridiculous pair. In this particular session, Margaret Cho tries her best not to get off while reading Sleeping Beauty, which would be an easy thing under more normal circumstances. [The Hairpin]
It’s never too early to discover your mom’s huge silicone dildo. Wait, yes it is. It’s always too early. Fortunately I don’t think this toddler has any idea what Mommy likes to do with her special toy from an Ann Summers sex toy party, only that she’s very upset he found it and wants it back. Hmmm. Hope she keeps the nipple clamps better hidden. [Guyism]
Well, that escalated quickly. Sydney Leathers was not calling our bluff when she was seen consorting with the king of porn, Steve Hirsch of Vivid. She’s gone and filmed “Weinergate ’13,” a fully naked “hardcore masturbation porn.” According to TMZ, which watched the porn, she strips down naked and diddles herself on camera. In a patriotic-but-NSFW preview (after the jump, very NSFW), Leathers blabs about her sexting and phone sex sessions with Anthony Weiner and how he would compliment her on her breasts, ass and how her feet looked in heels. God bless America. [TMZ, Hypervocal] Keep reading »
When it comes to what women find erotic, really, anything goes. There’s the regular stuff — kissing, touching, oral sex, sex, erotica or porn. Easy to talk about! It really turns me on when you put your mouth on my vagina. And then there’s the grittier stuff, but still fairly standard — dirty talk, sex toys, light bondage, butt play. Edgier, but still completely approachable. I want you to tie me up and fuck me in the ass. But then there are those other things that turn us on, that we can hardly explain, that may even make us feel uncomfortable. Like when you’re spelunking through the bowels of the internet and you find a picture of naked, male conjoined twins and you start to get aroused and you’re just kind of like, Why the hell is this making me want to diddle myself? You’re not exactly going to tell your friends about it, or even your partner. Can you imagine? Hey honey, I was thinking we would try some conjoined twin play tonight. No way. Below, a number of women shared their weirdest, most bizarre turn-ons. You know, the ones that they would never admit to anyone, except millions of anonymous strangers online. Keep reading »
Puberty is rough — rougher still when you ignore your mother’s warnings to stop wiping jizz on her nice bathroom towels. If this Redditor’s 13-year-old son doesn’t start depositing his spank bank splooge into tissues soon, he’s going to find his bedroom redecorated with Justin Bieber towels and My Little Pony decor. Way harsh, Mom. [HyperVocal]
With our busy lifestyles, multitasking is a necessity. Like say, for instance, if you want to try to squeeze in both daily exercise (or in the case of NYC’s new Citibike program, your morning commute) and a masturbation session, so you can save the 15 minutes you might spend clicking mindlessly through your Instagram feed. Well, the Happy Ride, a bicycle seat cover with a discreet, high-powered vibrator tucked inside, makes it possible. The sex toy disguised as bicycle gear goes for about $40 and comes with an attached remote control so you can adjust the vibration speed to your liking. Keep reading »