The workers of the world can have their International Workers’ Day, or Labor Day or whatever, but the month of May belongs to an equally fundamental dignity: masturbation. How did May become masturbation month? Find out on Huffington Post…
The online dating scene is rough. Sure, it’s a great way to meet people, but we use the term “people” loosely, as some of the individuals we’ve come in contact with still seem to be in their primitive forms. Obviously, first impressions count … but not to these idiots.
Sender: 30, Male
Receiver: 27, Female
Tip: “You should watch me jerk off sometime,” is not the new “We should have a drink sometime.” Do not expect to use it and get the same response … asshole.
Did someone send you a creeptastic or WTF message on a dating site? Take a screenshot of the message/your interaction and send it to us at firstname.lastname@example.org. Include the info in the post above. (Don’t worry … if we choose to use it, it’ll be anonymous and we’ll make sure to guard all identifying information!)
I remember when I first came out as a masturbator. It was freshman year of college and my hallmates and I were playing Never Have I Ever. The topic of masturbation came up and I totally lied and said I didn’t do it. One of the other girls in the room looked at me and was basically like, “Girl please, yes you do. And so do I. I masturbated this morning.” And the funny thing was, I had too. I suddenly realized that I didn’t need to hide it anymore. Fast forward 15+ years and here I am, talking about touching myself on the internet. HOW FAR I HAVE COME! So yeah, everyone masturbates, women included. But here are some things men get wrong about female masturbation.
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Even the most rational men harbor irrational fantasies about what women do when they’re alone. We can blame porn for making them think we fondle each other’s boobs at slumber parties and high school urban legends for giving them the cockamamie idea that we’d let a dog eat JIF out of our vagina. Come on, now. Seriously? Guys, once and for all, we’d like to confirm that we have never and will never share our sex toys with each other, so you can just let that sweet lil’ image go. Here are some more things that we don’t do when you’re not there. We promise… Keep reading »
“I was so nervous about [filming Marnie's masturbation scene], Lena [Dunham] brought me in the dressing room and we took turns being up against the door. I would go ‘Do you think it should look like this,’ and then she’d say ‘No, no, no, no, hey, you sit down, I’m gonna try it,’ and it was like ‘Oh, that’s so interesting, because I was picturing like this.’ We were trying to decide, because Marnie was wearing tights and a dress, does she like, pull up the dress and then go down the tights? Or does she pull down the tights and then pull up the dress?”
Why am I not surprised that Lena Dunham was hands-on in helping Allison Williams with Marnie’s masturbation scene? Even though I didn’t find it super-realistic that someone would go masturbate in a bathroom in the middle of a party, good on “Girls” for showing women masturbating as a completely normal thing to do. If Allison has it her way, Marnie will be rubbing one out a lot more. ”I hope Marnie can find a way to somehow fulfill herself. I hope that she starts masturbating more, doing whatever she has to do to be her own person,” the actress told Dazed Digital. “There’s nothing quite like knowing that you can make it on your own. It’s very empowering.” Indeed! Something tells me Jessa could help Marnie shop for the perfect vibe. [Dazed Digital]
Self-love is a wonderful act, when done at the right time and in the right place. In 2013, we heard a lot about masturbation gone wrong from — Sydney Leathers‘ hardcore diddling porn to a Cosmopolitan blogger’s attempted NYC subway romp. Here’s a look back at this year in jerking, fapping, tugging, dinking … you get the point.