Just found this little gem and thought I’d share. On a recent-ish episode of “In The Bedroom With Dr. Laura,” sexually dissatisfied wife Becky opens up about about her unusual self-pleasuring technique. She likes to hump the corner of her laundry basket to climax — she’s been masturbating this way since college. Fascinating! I am still trying to unpack the logistics of this hump session, but hey, to each her own! Becky’s dependence on her hamper has gotten so out of control that she prefers grinding the basket to grinding her husband Steve’s really “large” penis. The worst part of the whole segment is that Steve silently stands by while Becky tells Dr. Laura what a wimp he is in the sack. Poor guy. Talk about being completely emasculated. But then again, there’s no denying that clean laundry is sexy as hell. Unfortunately, I can’t share the clip, but you can watch it here. [Oprah]
Men, bless them. They love to think about us masturbating, at least the way they think we masturbate based on porn they’ve seen. If only they could be a fly on the wall when we’re actually pleasuring ourselves. Everything they thought to be true would be rocked. My average self-love sessions are performed without fanfare. Done with bad breath, messy hair, in my old sweat pants, before bed, when I wake up, am feeling stressed, or sad, or bored, or annoyed, or horny. After the jump, some stupid misconception guys have about the way we masturbate. Keep reading »
My mother and I were standing in the Atlantic Ocean with water up to our knees.
“Remember when I caught you masturbating, Chloe?” she asked.
“When you were five.”
“I wasn’t five, mom.” Keep reading »
A New York City man referring to himself on Twitter as Mister PeePee has taken it upon himself to masturbate in every single Starbucks bathroom in New York City and then “rate” the “results” on some newfangled Boner Scale. (Jeez, talking about loving the pumpkin spice lattes!) According to the blog Gothamist, he has ambitiously signed up for wanks in over 298 public restrooms. Mister PeePee publicizes his findings in the form of a podcast and reportedly tweets his ratings, as well. Ah, the things you can do on the internet! In response, I will be boycotting Starbucks bathrooms for
the forseeable future forever, possibly. [Gothamist]
“Masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexuality activity, particularly if he’s watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body.”
— This is Pastor Mark Driscoll of Seattle’s fundamentalist Mars Hill Church in his no-doubt enlightening brochure “Porn-Again Christian: A Frank Discussion on Pornography & Masturbation for God’s Men.” Anything other than heterosexual sex is “bordering on homosexual activity” because you’re fooling around with someone of the same sex, duh. The logic, it is flawless! Also, I am as gay as a picnic basket on “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy” being filmed in the Castro District during a Judy Garland Convention. [Queerty] Keep reading »
That is exactly what you think it is. An sculptural interpretation of finger banging. There’s more where that came from at South Korea’s Jeju Love Land, an erotic sculpture park featuring 140 sculptures of sexy stuff. Also of note, a gigantic mosaic penis that squirts water and a bronzed woman pleasuring herself. As Liz Lemon would say, “I want to go to there.” [Laughing Squid]