You obviously know that it’s against the law to drink and drive, but don’t be diddling and driving either, missy. Police in Cincinnati pulled over Colondra Hamilton, 36, because her car had illegally tinted windows, but when they peeked inside they saw more than they bargained for. Hamilton’s pants were unzipped and she had a sex toy sitting on her lap; apparently, her front-seat passenger was holding up a laptop playing porn for her to watch while she was driving. Hamilton was charged with “driving with inappropriate alertness” and having illegal tinted windows, but the real punishment is having the world know you masturbate while driving and watching pornography. [News.Cincinnati.com] Keep reading »
Poor Sally Draper! “Mad Men”‘s lisping spawn of Don and Betty is having a hard time in the aftermath of her parents’ divorce and Grandpa Gene’s death; she’s acting out in ways that stupify her dad and piss off her mom. On last night’s episode, Sally chopped off her hair (I thought she did a decent job of it, actually), which inspired a hard slap from Betty, who’s becoming more and more detestable (and less sympathetic) with each episode. Then 10-year-old Sally was, gasp
, busted masturbating while watching The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
at a sleepover, which of course prompted Betty to send her to a therapist. All of this made me think two things: 1) SAVE SALLY DRAPER! and 2) Were you ever caught diddling as a kid or teen? Tell us in the comments! Keep reading »
Here at The Frisky, we have been getting all touchy-feely with our emotions for “Love Yourself Week.” But what about the more literal and physical side of the phrase “touchy-feely”? You know, the more hands-on approach to self-love. Masturbation, to be blunt. This little act is, uh, an important part of learning to love yourself. Up until yesterday, I have always taken a manual approach to masturbation and my fingers have suited me just fine. But I couldn’t help but think I was missing out on something by being sans sex toys. So I decided to be a big girl and set out to buy my very first vibrator. Keep reading »
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It’s “Love Yourself Week,” so of course we are going to channel our inner Oprahs for schmoopy listicles on the 30 things we love about ourselves. But usually when we talk about “loving yourself” here in the Frisky-verse, there’s something else we mean: masturbation.
Whether it’s with a vibrator, a dildo, fingers — or, heck, the contents of your produce drawer! — we are big fans of rubbing one out. As Woody Allen famously said, “Masturbation is sex with someone I love!” In the spirit of loving yourself in this very special way, we’ve constructed a helpful flowchart to help you decide whether you should masturbate right now. (Quickie answer? If you are reading this at the office, the answer is “no.”) Keep reading »
Writing a song about self-love isn’t as easy as it sounds, I imagine. How do you pen a tune about masturbation that doesn’t sound obvious or conjure up disturbing images? The following artists did it right, in no particular order (and check out clips of the songs, after the jump). Keep reading »
“Had we gone to trial, we had ready an expert from the Masters and Johnson Institute who was going to testify that in 30 years of research on masturbation the institute had never found one person who masturbated with his or her nondominant hand. I’m right-handed, and the police report said I was jerking off with my left hand. That would have been the end of the case right there, proof it couldn’t have been me.”
– Paul Reubens, aka Pee Wee Herman, talks to Playboy about his 1991 arrest for playing with himself in public [Huffington Post] Keep reading »
Now men can combine two of their favorite things: masturbation and competitive sports! The Count Machine Onahole is a revolutionary new masturbation device that keeps track of the number of strokes, calories burned, and the total time it takes for the user to achieve orgasm. For just $123 you can insert your throbbing member into a synthetic, plastic vag, attach the counting device, and pump away while the clock runs. And then, do it again and see if you can beat your best SPM (strokes per minute). The current record is held by a porn star who clocked in at 426 SPM. Beat that, guys! Literally. Beat it. [Weird Asia News] Keep reading »
Poor dudes. Masturbation is just so messy. Once a dude is ready to blow, he’s forced to find a roll of toilet paper, box of tissues, or a sock to take care of the aftermath. Well, it’s time for men to save their Kleenex for the sniffles, stop using up all the TP, and leave their socks on. Now when he masturbates, he can simply wear a Man Bib! These handmade and machine washable bibs tie around the penis for one-size-fits-all convenience. Instead of having to leave the scene of the crime, he can masturbate and bask in the pleasure of having his clean team right there. Man Bibs come in camo for the hunter, denim for the cowboy, leather for the biker, tartan for the Scotsman, Studio55 for the metrosexual, and High School Musical for the one with a Peter Pan syndrome. [$25, TheCheeky.com] Keep reading »
Nicola Paginton is an inspiration to us all: the 30-year-old nanny allegedly died of a heart attack while masturbating to porn. Suck it, Mary Poppins! Police said last October, Paginton failed to show up for work one day; her employer came to the nanny’s place because she wasn’t answering her phone. There she and a neighbor broke inside and discovered Paginton dead, lying on her bed with a vibrator by her side and a porn playing on her laptop. The coroner ruled her “activity before bed” likely contributed to this otherwise healthy young lady’s sudden heart arrhythmia.
Let this be a reminder to us all to only give house keys to friends who we wouldn’t mind seeing our bodies mid-orgasm after rigor mortis has set in. [The Sun UK] Keep reading »
Ever since I got dumped, my confidence has taken on a new level of manic that I hadn’t experienced since I realized that I had boobs and got my first massive zit on the same day. I vacillate between the first person to suggest we all strip down and jump in the ocean to the girl who hasn’t worn a bikini since 1996, at which time it was striped cotton from Gap Kids. This has had a major effect on my personal loving time. All of the sudden, I turn off the lights and hide under the sheets. My vibrator went from being a friendly reminder of my empowered sexuality to a sorry plastic accessory of my depression. Suddenly I didn’t have time to make myself pant and moan because work was exhausting me to the point of brain numbness. And you know that once you think your day job is more important than orgasmic relief, you are taking the express route to a nervous breakdown. Keep reading »