Tag Archives: masturbation

Meet China’s Hands-Free Sperm Extractor Machine (For The Times When A Regular Handjob Won’t Do)

sperm extractor
Look, Ma, No Hands!

File this one under “Things I Had To Check Weren’t A Clickhole Post First”: hospitals in China have machines to extract sperm. The hands-free gizmos are used by urology departments to manually pump out semen through a “massage pipe” when extracting it the, ummm, normal way doesn’t work anymore. Apparently it is used for sperm donation? I dunno, the sperm extractor looks unappealingly antiseptic and clinical to me (video is SFW), although I guess it’s not much different than a Fleshlight. Pity the poor urological nurse in charge of clean up! [IFL Science]

Dear Prudence Counsels Mom Who Found Her Daughter Masturbating With A Hand Mixer

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hand mixer 060414

I’m a regular reader of Slate’s advice column, “Dear Prudence,” which counsels letter writers on problems great and small. While the questions fairly often have to do with matters pertaining to sex, this is the first time I’ve seen Prudie advise a letter writer who caught a tween masturbating with a kitchen utensil. Which may or may not have been suggested by the letter writer’s sister, a ‘cool aunt.’ From the letter:

… This weekend, I came home to hear a commotion in the kitchen and found my daughter holding the hand mixer against her body. Embarrassed, she said her aunt had “taught her this trick.” Now, I can easily imagine she may have just thrown that out as an inappropriate joke, but I wouldn’t put it past her to have meant it seriously. Obviously, our daughter wouldn’t be the first 13-year-old girl put in an awkward situation to lie, either.

Well then.  Keep reading »

10 Things You Didn’t Know About Female Masturbation

masturbation class in college

Just like periods, female masturbation is one of those topics that are met with beet-red blushing, awkward silence or a fit of giggles. But the reality is that loving yourself really isn’t all that taboo. And this new, eye-opening infographic from Jimmy Jane proves it: More women are getting touchy-feely, lovey-dovey with themselves than you probably realize. Read more on YourTango…

‘M’ Is For May And Masturbation Month

masturbation class in college

The workers of the world can have their International Workers’ Day, or Labor Day or whatever, but the month of May belongs to an equally fundamental dignity: masturbation. How did May become masturbation month? Find out on Huffington Post…

#OnlineDatingFail: Masturbation Is Not An Appropriate Introductory Topic

The online dating scene is rough. Sure, it’s a great way to meet people, but we use the term “people” loosely, as some of the individuals we’ve come in contact with still seem to be in their primitive forms. Obviously, first impressions count … but not to these idiots.

Sender: 30, Male
Receiver: 27, Female
Site: OKCupid
Tip: “You should watch me jerk off sometime,” is not the new “We should have a drink sometime.” Do not expect to use it and get the same response … asshole.

Did someone send you a creeptastic or WTF message on a dating site? Take a screenshot of the message/your interaction and send it to us at onlinedatingfail@thefrisky.com. Include the info in the post above. (Don’t worry … if we choose to use it, it’ll be anonymous and we’ll make sure to guard all identifying information!)

Funny Girl Sex Guide: Debunking Some Female Masturbation Myths

Funny Girl Sex Guide: Debunking Some Female Masturbation Myths
Am I Touching Myself?

I remember when I first came out as a masturbator. It was freshman year of college and my hallmates and I were playing Never Have I Ever. The topic of masturbation came up and I totally lied and said I didn’t do it. One of the other girls in the room looked at me and was basically like, “Girl please, yes you do. And so do I. I masturbated this morning.” And the funny thing was, I had too. I suddenly realized that I didn’t need to hide it anymore. Fast forward 15+ years and here I am, talking about touching myself on the internet. HOW FAR I HAVE COME! So yeah, everyone masturbates, women included. But here are some things men get wrong about female masturbation.

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15 Ridiculous Sexual Things Guys Actually Believe Women Do When They’re Not Around

Even the most rational men harbor irrational fantasies about what women do when they’re alone. We can blame porn for making them think we fondle each other’s boobs at slumber parties and high school urban legends for giving them the cockamamie idea that we’d let a dog eat JIF out of our vagina. Come on, now. Seriously? Guys, once and for all, we’d like to confirm that we have never and will never share our sex toys with each other, so you can just let that sweet lil’ image go. Here are some more things that we don’t do when you’re not there. We promise… Keep reading »

Allison Williams On Marnie’s Masturbation Scene On “Girls”

“I was so nervous about [filming Marnie's masturbation scene], Lena [Dunham] brought me in the dressing room and we took turns being up against the door. I would go ‘Do you think it should look like this,’ and then she’d say ‘No, no, no, no, hey, you sit down, I’m gonna try it,’ and it was like ‘Oh, that’s so interesting, because I was picturing like this.’ We were trying to decide, because Marnie was wearing tights and a dress, does she like, pull up the dress and then go down the tights? Or does she pull down the tights and then pull up the dress?”

Why am I not surprised that Lena Dunham was hands-on in helping Allison Williams with Marnie’s masturbation scene? Even though I didn’t find it super-realistic that someone would go masturbate in a bathroom in the middle of a party, good on “Girls” for showing women masturbating as a completely normal thing to do. If Allison has it her way, Marnie will be rubbing one out a lot more.  ”I hope Marnie can find a way to somehow fulfill herself. I hope that she starts masturbating more, doing whatever she has to do to be her own person,” the actress told Dazed Digital. “There’s nothing quite like knowing that you can make it on your own. It’s very empowering.” Indeed! Something tells me Jessa could help Marnie shop for the perfect vibe. [Dazed Digital]

2013: This Year In Masturbation Failures

Self-love is a wonderful act, when done at the right time and in the right place. In 2013, we heard a lot about masturbation gone wrong from — Sydney Leathers‘ hardcore diddling porn to a Cosmopolitan blogger’s attempted NYC subway romp. Here’s a look back at this year in jerking, fapping, tugging, dinking … you get the point.

Kickass Woman Of The Day: Tulsa Lady Confronts Man Masturbating In Women’s Bathroom At Walmart

kickass woman of the day
walmart masturbation
Beth Davis Went After The Pervert

Meet Beth Davis of Tulsa, Oklahoma.  She ran by Walmart to run and errand and stopped first in the women’s restroom.  There should found a man, standing in front of the mirror partially clothed, jerking off.  So Davis whipped out her cameraphone and started filming him as he tried to leave the store, while she yelled for someone to stop the man because he’d been masturbating  But Walmart being Walmart, did nothing.  In fact, as Davis told KJRH News, only one person — a vendor — tried to stop the man but was told by an employee not to touch him. Keep reading »

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