Even though the Olsen twins — i.e. Mary-Kate and Ashley, for those of you who recognize they are two separate humans — are only seven or so years younger than me, I will forever think of them as adorable Michelle Tanner on “Full House,” forever slightly shocked to see them all grown up. Here they are, appearing on “Ellen” and promoting their two new fragrances, looking and talking like poised, cool, smart, stylish adults. Mary Kate is engaged. To a FRENCHMAN. It’s like the Olsen twins are suddenly not only NOT children, but adults who are more responsible and mature and together than I am. WTF?
Mary Kate Olsen is supposedly engaged to her much older boyfriend, Olivier Sarkozy, brother of the former French president. Further fueling the rumors, which MK has yet to confirm, is this photo of the Olsen twin wearing a very large bauble on her left ring finger. It seems to have a cocktail ring vibe to it, with the thick gold setting, though this doesn’t look to be your standard diamond either. Whatever, all that matters is that Mary Kate Olsen is walking around with what likely amounts to multiple mortgages on her teensy finger, and I’m not. How rude. [Photos: Pacific Coast News]
In Elaine Carroll’s hilariously warped world, Mary Kate Olsen is obsessed with her bodyguard. In real life, she’s obsessed with former French prez Nicholas Sarkozy’s brother Olivier, which is actually tons weirder. Here, Mary Kate tells her bodyguard that she can’t fantasize about him anymore, though she’ll give it one more ecstasy-tinged try. [College Humor]
There once lived two sisters, born of the same magical egg, an egg which once belonged to the most powerful sorcerer in the kingdom. That sorcerer made a deal with the devil, and lost — and damned his magical egg daughters to a life of eternal opposition. Where one would have two names the other would go by just a singular moniker. Where one would date only sly young douchebags, the other would canoodle with the brothers of French presidents. And though they might come together over their shared love of pizza, the sisters Ashley and Mary-Kate were destined to always be torn asunder: One would represent the night, the other the light of day. Or something!