Tag Archives: martha stewart

Martha Stewart Shades Gwyneth Paltrow So Hard, We’ll Never See Anything Like It Again

All hail, Martha Stewart, The Queen Of Shade. In what has to be the Haley’s Comet of Shades, for it is rare to witness a shade this spectacular, Martha used her magazine, Martha Stewart Living, to troll the organic, locally-grown, macrobiotic shit out of Gwyneth Paltrow. The latest issue of the magazine features a story called “Conscious Coupling” all about pies — the title a direct reference to Gwyneth’s “conscious uncoupling” from ex Chris Martin — which includes the following descriptive text:

Every Thanksgiving table should be blessed with the presence of a long-married pair who bring out the best in each other, are completely enamored despite their differences, and leave every other guest thinking, I’ll have what they’re having. Our holiday pies honor such so there’s a pleasant mix of textures and flavors in every bite. No matter how you slice partnerships, each spotlighting the perfect marriage of crust and filling these six irresistible desserts, there is a whole lot to love.

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Martha Stewart Seriously Has No Love For Gwyneth Paltrow

“She just needs to be quiet. She’s a movie star. If she were confident in her acting, she wouldn’t be trying to be Martha Stewart.”

Martha Stewart waltzed right past the side-eye and straight up dissed Gwyneth Paltrow in the new issue of Net-A-Porter’s Porter magazine, according to Page Six. Stewart has long turned up her nose at actresses-turned-lifestyle experts, but she seems to reserve particular ire for Paltrow and her website/newsletter GOOP. Keep reading »

Martha Stewart Doesn’t Know What A Dildo Is, Let Alone How To Clean It

Martha Stewart, the original domestic diva, did an Ask Me Anything Q&A on Reddit today, fielding questions about homemaking, cleaning, etiquette, cooking and her personal life. As you might expect, the always gracious but opinionated Martha took a hard stance against such things as tattoos (“I would not EVER, EVER deface my body with tattoos”), online dating (“Old news”) and truffle oil (“It is ruinous of most recipes”), but evaded answering questions about her past, specifically her time in prison. She did, however, answer one fan’s request for sex advice. Keep reading »

You’ll Never Guess Martha Stewart’s Celebrity Crush

Martha Stewart's Celebrity Crush

“I have lots of crushes, I love having crushes. But lately I think it’s Christian Bale. I just watched ‘American Psycho,’ where he looks really good. And then I watched his new movie, ‘American Hustle,’ where he looks really bad. He had to get a potbelly for ‘American Hustle,’ so that would have been a good time for him to eat at my house … I don’t think eating is exactly what I want to do with Christian Bale.”

– Martha Stewart revealed her celeb crush during a recent appearance on “Today,” and apparently the Queen of Domesticity wants to do dirty things with Patrick Bateman himself! Didn’t see that one coming, did you? Martha is slowly becoming America’s bawdy great aunt, and I am so into it. [Huffington Post]

Martha Stewart Gives Gwyneth Paltrow A Very Half-Hearted Stamp Of Approval

Gwyneth's Cookbook
Behold, a dramatic reading of Gwyneth Paltrow's cookbook. Read More »
GP Hated The Met Ball
And she doesn't care who knows it! Read More »

“I haven’t eaten at Gwyneth’s house, and I have never seen how she lives. But, if she’s authentic, all the better – and I certainly hope she is. She really wants to be part of the lifestyle business. She’s a charming, pretty person who has a feeling for lifestyle. She wants to be a lifestyle arbiter – fine. Good.”

Um, I love how Martha Stewart is totally throwing shade at Gwyneth Paltrow while seemingly endorsing the actress’s desire to be a lifestyle guru. “I haven’t eaten at [her] house” or “seen how she lives” and Martha’s “hope” that GP is “authentic” imply, to me at least, that she sort of doubts how legit Gwynnie is about her GOOP lifestyle. Maybe I’m reading between the lines too much, but it seems to me like Martha is reminding Gwyneth — who has been called “the new Martha Stewart” — that she was the first snooty blonde lifestyle guru on the block. Oh wait, she said just (almost) that. ”I think I started this whole category of lifestyle,” Martha told Bloomberg News, leaving out the snooty blonde part. And don’t you forget it, Gwyneth. [People]

Martha Stewart Is Still Waiting For Apple To Come Pick Up Her Broken iPad

What a normal person drops their iPad and the screen shatters, they yell curse words and haul their ass to a Genius Bar to beg for help. When Martha Stewart drops her iPad and the screen shatters, she Tweets about it and waits for Apple to come to her house to pick it up. And she waits. And she Tweets. And she waits. And she Tweets. And she waits… [Defamer]

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