Meet our friend Tom. He’s a married guy with tons of relationship experience, and a skilled advice giver who’s here to answer all your pressing sex, dating and relationship questions. Have a query for Tom? Email it to email@example.com and we’ll make sure he gets it! All questions will be posted anonymously, unless otherwise requested. First up…
I just started a new relationship, and my boyfriend is bugging me to get a ‘Brazilian.’ Should I?
And let’s call it what it is: a bald vagina. Keep reading »
Good news, online daters! Your next relationship is more likely to last than that of your non-Internet-y peers. A new study from eHarmony (and independently verified) found that more people than ever are finding their mates online. A survey of 19,000 married people found that a third of them met their significant other via an online dating site. And those who met online reported higher levels of satisfaction in their marriages. Couples who met online were also less likely to break up or get divorced.
But just because two people met online doesn’t necessarily mean they were using an online dating site. While 45 percent of the people surveyed were on some matchmaking site, 20 percent met their mate via social networks, and another 10 percent through online chat rooms.
Why might meeting online work so well? Keep reading »
Had Patrick and I enjoyed the luxury of a gigantor wedding budget, there are some things that we did not get to have at our wedding but which we would have liked to have had. For me: a photo booth, more chairs, a custom dress. For Patrick: a second photographer, a videographer, a soft serve ice cream machine, a llama.
Yes, like a real, live, breathing and huffing llama. But only at the reception — obviously it’d be a distraction to bring in a domesticated South American camelid for the ceremony.
“It speaks to things for people to do, many more things to make it fun for people,” Patrick explained, intent on convincing Hitched readers that he’s not secretly a third-grader. “Like a photo booth.”
But a llama rental probably would have doubled our $5,000 budget. So no llamas for us. And as it turns out, we managed to power through it and get married without one. Keep reading »
Love, sweet love — it’s basically a transactional agreement between two people who believe that they’ve successfully traded upon their skills and abilities to find a suitable mate. No? That’s not your definition of love? What about if you’re really, really pretty? And maybe you think you could find a richer, more successful man by trading on your looks? Meet Dear Prudence letter writer “Sincerely Shallow,” who asked the advice columnist just that. Here’s her question:
“I’m recently engaged to the most honest, thoughtful, and loving man I’ve ever met. He has supported me through many hard times, including losing my job and being assaulted. Here’s the but about him: He makes no money. He has ambitions, and he’s smart, but will likely only bring a middle-class income at best. I have an OK job and I’m self-sufficient. Now here’s the but about me: I’m really, really pretty. My whole life people have told me I could get any man I want, meaning a rich man, and are shocked that I’m engaged to my fiancé, nice though he is. I’ve never dated a rich man, but it does make me curious. So part of me thinks I’m squandering my good looks on this poor man, and the other part of me thinks that I’m so shallow that I don’t even deserve him or anyone else. Am I a fool for thinking that a poor man can make me happy, or an idiot for believing a sexist fantasy?”
Before you say I’m bashing her just because she has high self-esteem, give me a sec. Keep reading »
My parents got divorced when I was almost too young to remember. I carry only brief images of the time surrounding their divorce. My mother, in a red dress with polka dots, kneeling down to meet me at my level as I squirm in a chair, legs swinging above the floor. “I’m going away for a little bit,” she says. “I’ll see you soon.” Our new house in New York is full of books and my grandma is there and my father stretches the phone cord taut so he can sit on the steps to the basement and argue with my mother in California, 3000 miles away.
The details of the event were unusual for the late 1980s. The court granted primary custody to my father — we’d spend summers in California and live in New York for the school year. My primary memory of family growing up is as a unit of three — father, sister, me. Our trio was strong, it was unshakeable, and my sister and I adapted to an early independence. We did our own laundry, heated up our Kid Cuisine dinners in the microwave while our father worked late and made annual trips to the West Coast every summer to visit our mom. Our household was just as functional as that of any two-parent household. We trotted off to school each morning with combed hair, brushed teeth and all of our belongings.
I grew up into a independent, self-sufficient and confident adult, a woman who would much rather do it myself than wait on someone else to understand what needs to be done, a woman who is okay with the idea of potentially spending a life not married — not because no one would have me, but because I like it that way. Alone. Keep reading »
From the minute you get engaged to even several months into being a newlywed, you’re exposed to wedding traditions galore. Some you may be familiar with (very, if you’ve been in/to a lot of weddings) and others that may have slipped your mind completely (because you were distracted by other important matters of business like designing an acceptable seating chart or negotiating with vendors).
Case in point: When my fiance (whoops!) husband and I were on our way back from the airport after getting hitched earlier this month, one of my brilliant colleagues said I had to make him carry me over the threshold when we got home. So funny. I hadn’t even thought of that. And being the history geek that I am, I proceeded to Google it to find out where the seemingly sweet tradition came from. Let me tell you — I probably shouldn’t have.
Here, that and six other wedding traditions’surprising origins that may make you see them in a whole new light. Read more on The Stir…
I’ve had a boyfriend for four years and we’re not engaged. I know. But we like it that way for now. Seriously.
To me, getting married is not something that a person should do when she has to call her mother multiple times a day for various reasons including, “I was too scared to kill a bug so I just drowned it in Raid. Will I get cancer now?” Marriage doesn’t seem appropriate for someone who is continually moving the same 20 dollars from checking to savings.
As a wife, you can’t regularly experience existential crises like I do. In my mind, marriage is for more worldly people, people who have settled down in life. Because after you say “I do” comes the purchase of a house and the arrival of children. And quite frankly, I’m not comfortable with that. I openly admit it: I am not ready to get married. Now is not the time to tie the knot.
However, the lack of a princess cut or pear-shaped diamond on my hand seems to prove upsetting to those who know me. The amount of times per day that I am questioned about my relationship status is becoming rather alarming. During a recent trip to my dentist, the hygienist immediately grabbed my hand, and then let out an audible sigh. I was unsure whether I should apologize or just smile and walk away. Instead, upon further questioning, I blurted out, “No ring. Just some dry skin.” That seemed to put an end to the conversation. Keep reading »
Here’s a twist on polygamy for you. A Saudi woman told her fiancé that she would marry him on the condition that he would also marry her two best friends, who happened to be her coworkers at the school she taught at. At first the man thought it was a joke, but the woman was dead serious and she refused to get hitched unless he agreed to the offer.
“He realized that she was not joking when she insisted on her demand … after mediation efforts by relatives, he agreed to marry the three school teachers,” reported the Saudi Arabic language daily Alyoum in a report from the western town of Taif. After the man wed the three friends, he rented them all their own apartments and the husband takes turns rotating between their places. According to the report, the arrangement has not spoiled their friendship and they still spend a lot of time at each other’s places hanging out and doing housework. No word on when their reality show, “My Three Brides,” is set to air. Keep reading »
With a divorce rate hovering around 50 percent, a figure I see very clearly in my personal life, it’s easy to see why so many people think the current model of marriage is dead. Clearly, this “’til death do us part” stuff isn’t working for a whole lot of people and something has to give. After all, why do so few marriages really make it over the long haul?
Writer Emma Johnson discusses this in her latest blog post on Wealthy Single Mommy. She says marriage is dead and we need a new model. In particular, we need a 10-year contract that we can either renew or discard depending on how the marriage is working. Read more on The Stir…
Why anyone would pay 2012 Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney money to talk about anything, I don’t know, but I guess it’s mutually beneficial. He has to pay the bills on that car-elevator somehow. Anyway, quoting from the book of Luke in the Bible, Romney encouraged the recent grads of Southern Virginia University to “launch out into the deep.” But what exactly did this mean? Find work that you love? Pay off those student loans before Sallie Mae hunts you down like a dog?
No. Get married. Keep reading »