For many women, moving in with a serious boyfriend is not merely a stepping stone in the evolution of a relationship, it’s a practical way to both give the mundane realities of marriage a test-run and deal with the exorbitant expenses of modern living. When it comes to co-habiting with a significant other, we’ve come a long way since that old chestnut about not buying the cow when you could get the milk for free.
Or have we? Some research shows that living together before marriage actually increases the already stacked odds that the union will end in divorce. It might seem old-fashioned, but there are plenty of progressive, independent women opting to hold off on living with their dudes until after “I do.” Of course, there are no hard and fast rules for ensuring a marriage succeeds. I talked to two women with opposing views about whether co-habitating with a partner was good or bad for the long-term health of a relationship.
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A pastor in Texas thinks the best way to get closer to God is to have a ton of sex (if you’re married, that is). Rev. Ed Young, pastor of the evangelical Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Texas, issued a “sexperiment” challenge to his congregation of 20,000: sex every day for seven days. Sex, Rev. Young explained, “will bring you closer to your spouse and to God. You will perform better at work, leave a loving legacy for your children to follow and may even prevent an extramarital affair.” But for those of us unmarried folks, us social pariahs who really don’t deserve the benefits of intimacy, Rev. Young suggests we just “eat chocolate cake.” “Do not deprive each other of sexual relations” Young quoted from the book of Corinthians to his congregation. Unless you happen to be single, of course. [via NYTimes] Keep reading »
Egads! Jessica “Washingtonienne” Cutler, the former congressional staffer who blogged about her DC sex-for-money frolics with various political appointees, is engaged. Now 30, Cutler plans to marry Manhattan lawyer Charles Rubio. (He looks, um, nice?) Since Wonkette‘s Ana Marie Cox exposed the identity of the once anonymous sex blogger, Cutler wrote a book, got sued by an ex-lover, declared bankruptcy, and is having her torrid tale turned into an HBO series by none other than Sarah Jessica Parker. (“Sex and the City” meets “The West Wing”?) So how did the lovebirds, who plan to wed next month in a city hall ceremony, meet? “Randomly in a bar,” she reveals. “I was so wasted,” she adds. “I wish I had a more romantic story to tell you!” Us, too, Jessica. Us, too. [Gawker] Keep reading »
My sister practically clutched her heart when I first told her. “But what about the children?” she demanded. I shook my head, completely speechless. Now, I have an answer: What’s going to happen to our — at this stage — hypothetical children if I don’t change my name? They’ll survive. Keep reading »
I tried marriage and I don’t understand the attraction. I hated it. It’s such hard work. I had to organize the maids, the chef, assistants, chauffeurs, gardeners. All that staff. Exhausting. What really did it for me was when my husband told me he wanted children. Can you imagine? Ruining your figure for babies; those smelly things that leak at both ends?
At the beginning of a marriage everyone is on their best behavior. Everyone is pretending to be something their not. He’s pretending to be terribly fascinated in everything you say, he brushes his teeth, acts like a super stud in the bedroom, and living room, and kitchen… And we women pretend that he’s our “super hero,” we wear high heels and naughty little teddies, we shave our legs everyday. But six months and he’s turned deaf and dumb, your legs are hairy, neither one of you has brushed your teeth, you pick your nose and he picks his butt. He farts, you burp. The teddies have been replaced with sweats; he sits in front of the TV with the “game” on, mumbling, a beer in hand. You barely speak to each other; you’re too tired to have sex. Marriage. What is the advantage? Keep reading »
“I really don’t believe that you will love the same thing when you’re 20 as you do at 30. So that was my rule: Before the age of 25, I would never get married…. I feel like you have to get to know yourself, know what you want, spend some time by yourself and be proud of who you are before you can share that with someone else.” — Beyonce in the December issue of Seventeen Keep reading »
When the intoxicating romantic high of your wedding day drifts seamlessly into the intensely intimate, orgasmic togetherness of your honeymoon, it seems impossible the good times (both in and out of bed) could ever possibly end — until they do. This usually happens after your flight is delayed twice, and when you finally get home, you find a note from your pet sitter, telling you the cat yakked up a hairball on your carpet, and she couldn’t find the bottle of Resolve, so the stain is permanent. Before you know it, your sexy honeymoon lingerie is buried at the bottom of the hamper (or worse, still in your suitcase), you’ve totally lost your newlywed glow, and are instead sporting the perpetual brow furrow of someone who lacks the time to eat a proper meal, let alone hand write 200 thank-you notes. If you want to avoid this perilous and sex-starved fate, we suggest you try a few of these tricks, designed to keep you and your brand spankin’ new spouse firmly ensconced in betrothed bliss well beyond the honeymoon.
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One of the biggest defenses used by people who are not in favor of gay marriage — even from those who don’t oppose civil unions or other gay rights issues — is that marriage is an institution that’s founded on connecting mothers and fathers to their children. Writes Jennifer Roback Morse for the National Review, in her article “8 Is Not Hate”:
“I view marriage as a gender-based institution that attaches mothers and fathers to each other and to their children. Those of us who support Proposition 8 believe that children deserve at least the chance to have a relationship with a mom and a dad. That isn’t hateful toward anyone.”
Righty-o! Using “the children” as a shield for bigotry seems like shifty parenting to me, but whatevs. When the divorce rate is at 50% in this country, marriage is already under attack — by straight people! Keep reading »
Right now I’m going to be one of those slightly pathetic girls who reference an episode of “Sex and the City” to try and make a point, but then again who am I kidding, because I learned a lot from those four ladies. Thinking back to season three, when Charlotte was on the cusp of marrying Trey and found out she was getting locked into a shady prenuptial agreement has got me wondering about the subject. If I got married right now and my fiancé and I decided to have a prenuptial agreement, what the hell would he even be able to take from me? My favorite pillow? My DVR? My favorite necklaces? Oh wait I already lost those a week ago. Keep reading »
With Guy Ritchie and Madonna making their divorce plans official, you know that ho (as always) is going to turn to music to get her through it. Since she’s supposedly has A-rod waiting in the wings, her recovery period will probably only last a couple pop songs. Luckily, Madge won’t even have to search for tunes to express how she feels, since she already sings them! So here is our suggestions for Madonna’s Break Up Playlist featuring songs by Madonna.
“You need so much but not from me/Turn your back in my hour of need/ Something’s wrong but you pretend you don’t see/ I think I interrupt your life/ When you laugh, it cuts me just like a knife/ I’m not your friend, I’m just your little wife.” — ”Till Death Do Us Part” from “Like A Prayer”
This song from 1988 (during her marriage to Sean Penn) is all about a wife wishing her husband loved her more. Sigh, unlike the empowering hit on this record, “Express Yourself,” which encourages a woman with “don’t go for second best, baby!” This song, a mere 2 tracks down, has the woman going back to her blasé husband. Is there still a future for Madonna and Guy? Or will Madonna follow her own advice and “do much better baby on your own?”
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