Last month, I showed up at a party that my hubby, Andy, and I had been invited to, and I was greeted with silence. Now, I know I’m not that unpopular, so something had to be wrong. As I shrugged off my coat and people got back to mingling, my friend approached with a vodka tonic in hand. Passing it to me and trying to sound casual, she said, “So…where’s Andy tonight?” And then, in a stage whisper, “Is anything wrong?” Keep reading »
The first year of marriage is the hardest, I’d been told many times by my friends. While I wasn’t sure if I was prepared for the uncertain road that lay ahead, I certainly felt like I’d gotten fair warning and couldn’t expect to be surprised by the challenges that would come once I entered marriage. Once the wedding is over, it’s the two of you, making a life together, and that’s not easy for anyone.
So, I felt ready to encounter squabbles and misunderstandings and the taking-for-granted that comes when you know someone really well and expect to be around them for a long time. When something came up, I could tell myself, “OK, this is normal.”
But there were some other parts of newlywed life that bummed me out, stuff that I never thought would have mattered to me … until it did. Keep reading »
A columnist for the Guardian thinks wedlock is a nothing more than a “legalised prostitution trap cum labour exploitation racket” and any woman who gets excited about her big wedding day as she painstakingly plans every last detail is just deluding herself from the ambivalence she clearly must feel about entering into such a horrible union. Behind the façade of excitement, she argues, women are really just “dubious” about marriage, which “is revealed by their desire to constantly reinforce a sense of the fated immaculacy of the day. The obsession over creating a perfect wedding is actually worry, fear, uncertainty, only sublimated and channeled.” Keep reading »
Recently, I committed the ultimate relationship taboo: I told a man who wanted to spend the rest of his life with me that I couldn’t marry him. Even worse, I broke off my engagement at a time in my life when many of my close girlfriends are blissfully picking out wedding dresses and drafting tender vows of love to their soon-to-be husbands. Welcome to your late twenties, ladies.
During my engagement purgatory phase, when I’d finally gathered enough courage to share my indecision with a few confidantes, I was met with a collection of theories on how I would know if my fiancé was “the one” or not. After the jump, find out why all the nuptial advice I got amounted to a load of courtship crap when it came to my relationship. Keep reading »
Before my husband and I could have a Catholic wedding, we had to attend Pre-Cana. It’s like Driver’s Ed. for engaged Catholic couples. In theory, it’s a great idea. Couples are counseled en masse on a wide-range of topics, including compatibility and conflict resolution within marriage, the theological meaning of marriage, and Catholic rules couples might like to follow (like those regarding birth control). But we weren’t too excited about the prospect of our Pre-Cana. Keep reading »
There’s no sex like beginning-of-a-relationship sex. The anticipation. The exploring. The grabbing your new lover as soon as they walk in the door, throwing them onto the kitchen table and banging their brains out with the fervor of a Greek god and the enthusiasm of Rush Limbaugh on an anti-Hillary tirade after a three day coke binge. (Apologies if your lover’s face is replaced by Rush’s chubby mug next time you’re going at it … ). Keep reading »
I was pissed when my uncle announced at our rehearsal dinner, “You know you’re taking your honeymoon during hurricane season, right?” Well, duh! But it was my honeymoon, which meant that everything was destined to be perfect. Unless a certain relative opened up his yap and jinxed it all. Which is exactly what happened. That’s right, I’m blaming Uncle John, not seasonal weather systems moving through the Caribbean, for Hurricane Omar ruining my honeymoon. Keep reading »
There are guys (and gals!) out there who do not wear wedding rings. Some of them have never had a ring (weird hand-fasting ceremonies, etc) and some just choose not to encircle the fourth finger on their left hand with a hunk of precious or semi-precious metal. I’m sure you know a few of them and their reasoning may even make sense. But a lot of the rationale is BS and doesn’t really hold up in the light of day. Here are our top ten excuses for not wearing a wedding ring. Keep reading »
There are plenty of perks to getting married: the attention, the made-for-you gown, the whole life-partner thing. But the presents are pretty sweet, too. Registering for gifts can seem like more fun than an adult female should legally be allowed to enjoy. Basically, it’s like catalog shopping, only there’s a good chance someone will buy the items that you dreamily dog-ear. Plus, with those little UPC-code readers and the Interweb, it couldn’t be easier. But beware: The gift registry is a source of hidden stress and trauma. So before you go apes*** in the home department of Bloomingdales, there are some wedding registry traps to be on the lookout for: Keep reading »
A friend of mine just heard that his 9-year-old godson proposed to a girl in his class who he’s been crushing on. Last night at a skating party, he bought a plastic ring and asked her to marry him. The kid’s mom told him, “If she says yes, you’ll have to pay for her the rest of her life.” But even that harsh reality check didn’t deter him. The 9 year old said, “It would be worth it.” If only adults retained this attitude, divorces wouldn’t be so messy — or even exist! We’re still waiting to hear whether the girl said “yes.” Keep reading »