In Bad Mother, author Ayelet Waldman encourages women to aspire to be “not bad” mothers and resist the pressure to meet the extremely high standards of success that society has for women and motherhood. Waldman wants women to stop trying so hard and just be. She argues that mothers can and should be honest, flawed, and, yes, selfish sometimes — your ability to care for your children will not suffer.
Waldman’s book is a welcome change from the usual motherhood self-help nonsense that lines the shelves at Barnes & Noble. The book deal was struck after Waldman wrote a controversial piece for the New York Times‘s “Modern Love” column a few years ago. In “Truly, Madly, Guiltily,” she wrote about loving her husband, author Michael Chabon, more than their four children. Her confession came about after observing how many other mothers didn’t seem to have as active a sex life with their husbands, a fact she attributed to their focus on being moms rather than wives.
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Single and on the prowl? Triump International has developed a high-tech bra outfitted with a timepiece that marks the time it’s taking you to find a husband. Talk about baggage you can wear! But this bra doesn’t solely support your boobs — it’s includes a pen with which you can sign the pre-nup, and the minute you get engaged, you can stick the ring in, and it’ll play “The Wedding March.” Is this bra puke resistant? We’re about to lose our lunch. [Talk2MyShirt] Keep reading »
I’m getting married in a little over two months, and though this is a happy, exciting time in my life, there’s a bittersweetness. It started when I moved to New York a year and a half ago to be with my boyfriend. Up until then, our relationship had been long-distance; he was in Manhattan, and I was in Chicago. Through daily phone calls and frequent trips back and forth, we fell in love while still maintaining solo lives in our respective cities. It was a unique experience to be in a fully committed relationship, but continue living the same single-girl life I’d known since my last serious relationship (minus all the unsuccessful dating, of course). When I wasn’t in New York or hosting my boyfriend in Chicago, my weekends were filled cultivating other relationships — those with my closest friends. Life was filled with wine-drenched, late-night talks, long bike rides along the lake, picnics in the park, afternoon shopping frenzies, potlucks, brunches, and impromptu sleep-overs — all with my single friends. Now that I’m fully immersed in “coupled life,” I realize I’ll probably never have friendships like those again.
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What factors play into a man’s decision to get married? Love? Money? Children? A panel of five guys discuss their views.
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Over the weekend, British budget airline easyJet announced that it hopes to soon hold in-flight wedding ceremonies. It’s not official yet, but the airline is looking into whether it can get its pilots authorized to officiate weddings in the air, a feat that may be easier said than done, as Heather Dsenisi, deputy registrar at the Southampton Registry Office, explains: “Officially, British marriages have to be conducted in a licensed building, which has to be a permanent structure that doesn’t move, and the ceremony has to be officiated by a minister of religion or by a registrar employed by a local council.” If easyJet does manage to get the go-ahead and couples start marrying mid-flight, their nuptials will join a growing trend of increasingly weird weddings. In the last year, we’ve seen a candy shop wedding, a Taco Bell wedding, Barbie weddings, and even a Hello Kitty wedding. Are these quirky ceremonies just good fun, or do they mock the sanctity of marriage? Have weddings been reduced to nothing more than an avenue to express creativity? Keep reading »
It wasn’t so long ago (1980, to be exact) that the average age of American women marrying for the first time was 22. Less than 30 years later, the average age for a first marriage has jumped to 26 for women and 28 for men. In a recent column for the Washington Post, Mark Regnerus argues that this trend is dangerous because women are putting off marriage during their most “marketable” years, before they have to “beg, pray, borrow and pay to reclaim” their fertility. He writes: “Marriages that begin at age 20, 21 or 22 are not nearly so likely to end in divorce as many presume,” but he certainly fails to convince me, a 32-year-old woman not quite married for the first time yet. Keep reading »
Before getting your moral molars all impacted, we’d like to make clear that we’re not endorsing having an affair or ruining a perfectly good marriage (or an imperfect one, for that matter).
Whether single or taken, flirting is fun. Getting hitched helps out in the tax and health care departments, but married social life can start to feel like a blur of “dinner at the Newman’s” and “girls’ nights out.” We already know that flirting at the office helps business and is good for substance-free spirit-lifting. Unlike flirting with single blokes, hair flips and deep conversations with married guys aren’t automatic green lights for making a move. Here are ten other reasons to flirt with a man in a (wedding) band. Keep reading »
Well, this is a first. Rather than making me roll my eyes and gag, one of the wedding announcements in this weekend’s New York Times not only inspired me, it actually delighted me. Instead of the usual pedigree of good fortune, this announcement read more like a quirky rom-com starring a Lucille Ball look-alike. Besides an impossibly sweet girl-meets-boy story, the marriage of 46-year-old Dixie Feldman to 48-year-old Jeff Laite is a hopeful tale for anyone who’s ever worried that love and marriage is only for the conventional.
A first marriage for both, theirs will be non-traditional not only because they’re past the age of needing new cookware from a gift registry, but because they plan to “maintain separate residences and spend weekends together” (though Dixie herself told me on Twitter “he usually sleeps over four nights a week.”). Just last weekend I was having brunch with some girlfriends and we shared fantasies of having similar arrangements in marriage one day. While I really enjoy living with my husband-to-be and building a home together that’s “ours” and not just “mine or “his,” I daydream of having a second home — a cottage in Vermont or a small Condo in Chicago, maybe — where each of us can go for a weekend or a week or a month and recharge alone. So the union of Dixie and Jeff is a nice reminder that marriage can be whatever you want it to be, look however you want it to look, and often happen when you least expect it. Keep reading »
A couple weeks ago I addressed the issue of a woman changing her name when she marries. I expressed that although I don’t plan to change my name when I get hitched this summer, I respect and appreciate every woman’s right to choose what’s best for her. I reject the notion some have expressed that when a woman takes her husband’s last name she’s giving up her identity.
But then I had an interesting conversation with my mother recently that added a whole new layer to this name and identity dichotomy. I’ve been working on wedding invitations and I’m in the middle of finalizing a guest list and collecting addresses, so I shot my mom an email to make sure I had the most current addresses of our family members, and I also asked how I should formally address certain people on the envelopes. I figured that my mother and grandmother, being total old-school traditionalists, would prefer to be addressed with their husbands as Mr. and Mrs. TheirHusband’sFirstAndLastName, but I wasn’t sure about everyone else. How, for example, should I address my aunt who’s divorced but retained her married name?
My mother’s reply sort of shocked me. Keep reading »
A German woman has divorced her husband because she was pissed he’s always
drunk mean cheating cleaning. Um, we’re moving to Germany? Keep reading »