Last week, the Boston Globe ever-so-helpfully advised millennials (because god knows, everyone’s got great advice for us, like “Take out private loans to fund your education” and “Stop whining and get a job”) that we’ll regret it if we don’t marry in a “timely” fashion. Cue eye roll.
Tom Keane’s article says that fewer millennials will get married before 40 than in any previous generation, and frets over the possibility that we won’t get married at all. The only really viable argument he makes pro-marriage is that it comes with legal and tax benefits. Other than that, he confuses causation and correlation, calling marriage a “shield against poverty,” as if the reason people are poor is that they’re not married, and it’s not rather that they’re not married because of the plethora of circumstances of being poor. Keep reading »
We all love our significant others. They are our best friends and our greatest source of love and comfort. But sometimes, they drive us up the wall! Don’t get us wrong — surely there are things we do that annoy them too (nah … we’re perfect!). Still, at least we know how to pick up dirty clothes off the floor and hang a towel after we use it. At the end of the day, the good certainly outweighs the little frustrations here and there. We can go to sleep at night knowing that we are lucky to have them, even when they annoy the hell out of us. We may just need to shove a few balled-up socks out of the way to get in the bed. Here are some things that get under our skin — if your significant other does them, too, you’re not alone! Read more on TresSugar…
A new study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology has found that relationships, much like most things in life, are all about perspective. When you see love as a beautiful journey of growth and occasional struggle, your love life is more likely to prosper. When you want your relationship to be perfect or believe you have one and only soul mate to “complete” you, you’re likely to have a tough time sustaining happiness in love. Luckily, improving that kind of emotional rut is as easy as a simple shift in perspective. The study divides views on love into two “frames” — a union between two halves who are made for each other, or a journey with ups and downs. To better explain the unity concept, the research team linked it to an Aristotle quote: “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” People who see love like a journey, on the other hand, are more likely to relate to traditional wedding vows that promise to love one another for better or for worse. Keep reading »
Being the youngest in a large family has its advantages: My siblings provided plenty of grandchildren already, so there’s no pressure on me to make more. (Christmas presents are expensive, y’all.) My family has also known since I was 19 — when I fainted while watching my older sister have a sonogram because it grossed me out so much — that I’m not sure this childbirth thing is for me. So, even after being married for 10 months now, no one in my family has broached the subject of bringing a Bogdanovs-Wakeman into the world.
That being said, minding-one’s-own-beeswax doesn’t hold true with outsiders — as I found out this weekend when a trip to the laundromat turned into more than I’d bargained for. Keep reading »
So here’s a thing that is making my eye twitch: There is a (fringe) group of people — mostly men — who believe that divorce is, basically, a feminist conspiracy meant not to empower women to live autonomous lives (y’know, the whole “pursuit of happiness” thing) but to allow women to destroy men’s lives.
This is largely a product of the Red Pill community. For the vast numbers of people who live in blessed ignorance of Red Pill, it’s a group of people (again, mostly men) who believe that they’ve “taken the red pill” (à la “The Matrix”) and embraced the painful reality that our society is increasingly being set up to disadvantage men. Not that this is an actual reality: They believe that “involuntary celibacy” exists, i.e. they are having celibacy forced on them; they are disadvantaged for being virgins; their entire identity is wrapped up in having or not having sex. They’re the notorious believers in pick-up artistry, a concept that posits that since all women are brainless automatons, there’s a magical formula of actions and behaviors you can adopt to manipulate women into sleeping with you. They’re so obsessed with false rape accusations that they practically never actually validate the fact that women in America are raped (and then, if she was, of course, she probably deserved it). They buy into the “alpha/beta” social theory (because humans are dogs!). They talk about women in terms of monetary value. They believe they are buying their “partners.”
And they hate divorce, because in the Red Pill community’s minds divorce is a system set up to allow women to vacuum money out of men’s bank accounts and steal children away from their fathers. They believe men should be able to divorce women for even spurious reasons, but women should be shamed for getting divorced (by the way, read all of these links at the risk of your sanity). Keep reading »